You struggle, because you have not found your place. You wonder if you ever will. The world was not made for someone like you. That does not mean, though, that you cannot claim a piece of it as your own. You are unique, something many of your peers lack. You may not see it as an asset, but it can be. If you can learn to accept and embrace your uniqueness, you will one day find fulfillment. Remember that it always looks darkest before dawn. Stay strong.
Do You Have a Place in This World?
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Wednesday, August 22
You Feel Like You Don't Fit In 91% Of The Time
You paid attention during 100% of high school!
85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!
Do you deserve your high school diploma?
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You are 96% Knowledgable regarding US State Capitals!
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John Dee.
I want to pass out
Pass out and expire
Never wake up to this painful place
Never open my eyes to its disgrace
I try
To do the best that I can
I am kind and courteous
The best kind of man
That I have learned to be
But there are seeds inside me
That won't let the minds
Of my kind rest easy
We who see too much
And are so afraid
We stretch out and wait
You who have it made, and don't comprehend
Begin annoyed and it turns to hate
Just do it, you say
But cannot say aloud
You want people like me gone
You want life to go on
With me out of the way
My mother thinks I'm rude and shameful
My stepdad think I'm disrespectful
My brother doesn't reach me much at all
My father thinks I live on Mars
My sister has had about enough with my scars
My ex-wife thinks I'm a monster
My ex-girlfriend probably thinks I'm a stalker
My best friend turned his back on me in a second
My neighbor begs of me not to let her be evicted
My cat uses me as a source of food
My daughter sends me emails that are sweet
Once in awhile, and I cling to them
Miss her so much, my tears pour
Down the white buttons of my shirt
And I hurt from head to toe
Those who would condemn me
And send me off to some institution
Do not care or don't know
What I've been through
The row I've had to hoe
The tiptoeing I've done
To keep everyone happy
Nobody knows the truth
Everyone speculates
When people ask me questions I answer them honestly
If it's not what they want to hear
They lay into me
But most people are fake no matter where you go
It makes me want to throw up
I have no friends and no family
I want to get away
I want to take another deep breath
No more for heaven's sake
I care deep inside more than anyone I know
But I am not shameless
I don't let other people die
On the vine of my pangs
If they ask me I will help them
Till the blood is gone from my veins
But the dignity and maturity
Of some people is stuck in their past
Frozen in time, and all they think of is a world
Where everyone moves just when they say
And this idea of empowerment
Devours their soul, it has made people selfish
In the present, grey day.
Which is a twisted game I will not play.
I want to pass out
Pass out and expire
Never wake up to this painful place
Never open my eyes to its disgrace
I try
To do the best that I can
I am kind and courteous
The best kind of man
That I have learned to be
But there are seeds inside me
That won't let the minds
Of my kind rest easy
We who see too much
And are so afraid
We stretch out and wait
You who have it made, and don't comprehend
Begin annoyed and it turns to hate
Just do it, you say
But cannot say aloud
You want people like me gone
You want life to go on
With me out of the way
My mother thinks I'm rude and shameful
My stepdad think I'm disrespectful
My brother doesn't reach me much at all
My father thinks I live on Mars
My sister has had about enough with my scars
My ex-wife thinks I'm a monster
My ex-girlfriend probably thinks I'm a stalker
My best friend turned his back on me in a second
My neighbor begs of me not to let her be evicted
My cat uses me as a source of food
My daughter sends me emails that are sweet
Once in awhile, and I cling to them
Miss her so much, my tears pour
Down the white buttons of my shirt
And I hurt from head to toe
Those who would condemn me
And send me off to some institution
Do not care or don't know
What I've been through
The row I've had to hoe
The tiptoeing I've done
To keep everyone happy
Nobody knows the truth
Everyone speculates
When people ask me questions I answer them honestly
If it's not what they want to hear
They lay into me
But most people are fake no matter where you go
It makes me want to throw up
I have no friends and no family
I want to get away
I want to take another deep breath
No more for heaven's sake
I care deep inside more than anyone I know
But I am not shameless
I don't let other people die
On the vine of my pangs
If they ask me I will help them
Till the blood is gone from my veins
But the dignity and maturity
Of some people is stuck in their past
Frozen in time, and all they think of is a world
Where everyone moves just when they say
And this idea of empowerment
Devours their soul, it has made people selfish
In the present, grey day.
Which is a twisted game I will not play.
I triple my efforts in the face of adversity.
No one can silence me, I speak a lingua franca
And all brothers and sisters who understand
Don't take a partisan stand
Unless it be from their own mind
I proceed to be what I am naturally
Death to the prisons and the aristocracy
Saying you can't do that, there's the rule of law
But I say that the law is full of flaws
No one can beat me, true to myself whatever else
I was born in a nuclear scare, cold war
Divorce hit me at the worst age of all
Informs my current downfall, so...
Di friends I once had, dem a rush out di place
People used to cluster to me don' know mi face
Hinternet of Babylon bring culture to waste
In the net of people who will not compensate
All the years mi wasted tryin' a mash up di place
Get mi bredren tinking there is more to human race
Yes, violence and downpression, but a promise of grace
Now dem all be wanting pieces of mi breathing space
Love is the answer but so few can find di way
Love come like star den flee to interstellar space
Me and mi kin of Amerindian race
Using metaphors to saturate your mental space
Nah place mi lovers in no trophy case
Nah gonna live in an imaginary place
Nah gonna tolerate accusative case
Nah gon' cede mi chances jus' fi fall into place
Nah gon' treat mi life as a material race
Gwaan and live yuh life in interplanetary waste
Mi more interested in di human face
White or black nah matter as we haffe push di pace
Hard pon di drums as Dr Alban once say
People rather dance and dismiss the negro race
Dance wit no thought pon this wicked disgrace
Bob Marley give I&I a key to reggae grace
White man spread culture dat a kill dem other place
Mingling with heathen gonna kill you wit haste
God no like human being dat tidy up him waste
Jah no like the God who divide up the race
Jah him send God to outer reaches of space
I&I jus love all colors with no spite or haste
Take yuh time brudda, dance pon di floor to di bass
Let the riddim guide you to the girl you muss chase
Let the music move you to the Hilbert space
I mon haffe know what time at mi parking space
Run out of quarter so mi no cyaan park di place
Pardon me a moment but I got to end this blaze
Dis a tribute to di HUMAN race! check it
No man separate what is One
No man curse what Jah bless
Higha man muss battle human ignorance
Babylon system jus' a mek no sense
No pope can silence I&I, mi speak a lingua franca
Like all bredren and sistren who a dance di rub a dubba
Don't tek no partisan stan' unless yuh sobah
Unless it be di one which starts it all ovah
Now me a go live out what is left inside of me
Babylon, promoters of dat aristocracy dem
Still sayin' yuh cyaan do that, yuh boun' fi break di law
But mi say dem laws a full a flaws!
What follow next for da people pon this globe?
What proceed after dem a launch another probe?
What can men of artistry do now to stem disease?
The one dat lead to fortune, fame and greed?
What follow next in a di struggle for di poor?
What mek di ignorant choose try di faith cure?
When smallpox vaccine it a cure dem fi sure
But now mi brain can truly say no more! Yo!
What follow people who refuse dem charge...
What done to people fi a nah thinking large...
What is di price of a Cuban cigar...
And wat di price of spreading human SARS?
What happen a people who refuse to pull dem weight...
What done to populace dem neck-up in dey hate...
What is the motive of the hydrogen bomb...
Email if ya know what going on!
What follow people of di human race.....
(fade)
No one can silence me, I speak a lingua franca
And all brothers and sisters who understand
Don't take a partisan stand
Unless it be from their own mind
I proceed to be what I am naturally
Death to the prisons and the aristocracy
Saying you can't do that, there's the rule of law
But I say that the law is full of flaws
No one can beat me, true to myself whatever else
I was born in a nuclear scare, cold war
Divorce hit me at the worst age of all
Informs my current downfall, so...
Di friends I once had, dem a rush out di place
People used to cluster to me don' know mi face
Hinternet of Babylon bring culture to waste
In the net of people who will not compensate
All the years mi wasted tryin' a mash up di place
Get mi bredren tinking there is more to human race
Yes, violence and downpression, but a promise of grace
Now dem all be wanting pieces of mi breathing space
Love is the answer but so few can find di way
Love come like star den flee to interstellar space
Me and mi kin of Amerindian race
Using metaphors to saturate your mental space
Nah place mi lovers in no trophy case
Nah gonna live in an imaginary place
Nah gonna tolerate accusative case
Nah gon' cede mi chances jus' fi fall into place
Nah gon' treat mi life as a material race
Gwaan and live yuh life in interplanetary waste
Mi more interested in di human face
White or black nah matter as we haffe push di pace
Hard pon di drums as Dr Alban once say
People rather dance and dismiss the negro race
Dance wit no thought pon this wicked disgrace
Bob Marley give I&I a key to reggae grace
White man spread culture dat a kill dem other place
Mingling with heathen gonna kill you wit haste
God no like human being dat tidy up him waste
Jah no like the God who divide up the race
Jah him send God to outer reaches of space
I&I jus love all colors with no spite or haste
Take yuh time brudda, dance pon di floor to di bass
Let the riddim guide you to the girl you muss chase
Let the music move you to the Hilbert space
I mon haffe know what time at mi parking space
Run out of quarter so mi no cyaan park di place
Pardon me a moment but I got to end this blaze
Dis a tribute to di HUMAN race! check it
No man separate what is One
No man curse what Jah bless
Higha man muss battle human ignorance
Babylon system jus' a mek no sense
No pope can silence I&I, mi speak a lingua franca
Like all bredren and sistren who a dance di rub a dubba
Don't tek no partisan stan' unless yuh sobah
Unless it be di one which starts it all ovah
Now me a go live out what is left inside of me
Babylon, promoters of dat aristocracy dem
Still sayin' yuh cyaan do that, yuh boun' fi break di law
But mi say dem laws a full a flaws!
What follow next for da people pon this globe?
What proceed after dem a launch another probe?
What can men of artistry do now to stem disease?
The one dat lead to fortune, fame and greed?
What follow next in a di struggle for di poor?
What mek di ignorant choose try di faith cure?
When smallpox vaccine it a cure dem fi sure
But now mi brain can truly say no more! Yo!
What follow people who refuse dem charge...
What done to people fi a nah thinking large...
What is di price of a Cuban cigar...
And wat di price of spreading human SARS?
What happen a people who refuse to pull dem weight...
What done to populace dem neck-up in dey hate...
What is the motive of the hydrogen bomb...
Email if ya know what going on!
What follow people of di human race.....
(fade)
Tuesday, August 21
Aryana
No red?
No black?
Shove her in the back
White
& Blue
This one's a Jew
Throw him on the stack
Black
White
Wrong and right
Purity is clarity
Now stand up and fight!
Protestant
Aryan
And, wait, he's American
What shall we do?
Just blow him up too
Life is war
War is hell
If you can take it, then
Might as well.
No white?
No green?
Maybe this one is clean
Extradite him though
Just to make him scream
Drape him all in black
Like a scarecrow in a dream
Beat him
And batter him
Till he makes up something mean
Something he ought not to do
Something we trained him well to do
This man is a Briton?
Just obliviate that fact
Or call him a denizen
Of the Asian rat pack
Who struts about strapped
With TNT ticking
You can't even look at
The man who is selling
That cigarette pack.
Blacker than tar
These men of Sudan
Black is Darfur
These days
Refugee camps
Spreading disease
Patrols across
The border with ease
Call in the UN
To talk a lot
And drop some food
And guns in the laps
Of the criminal traps
These thugs have got
Set up in hiding
Or in sunlight shining
A genocide thriving
Over black men
Blacker than tar
And black oil in the ground
Which is the Arab's crude pound.
No red?
No black?
Shove her in the back
White
& Blue
This one's a Jew
Throw him on the stack
Black
White
Wrong and right
Purity is clarity
Now stand up and fight!
Protestant
Aryan
And, wait, he's American
What shall we do?
Just blow him up too
Life is war
War is hell
If you can take it, then
Might as well.
No white?
No green?
Maybe this one is clean
Extradite him though
Just to make him scream
Drape him all in black
Like a scarecrow in a dream
Beat him
And batter him
Till he makes up something mean
Something he ought not to do
Something we trained him well to do
This man is a Briton?
Just obliviate that fact
Or call him a denizen
Of the Asian rat pack
Who struts about strapped
With TNT ticking
You can't even look at
The man who is selling
That cigarette pack.
Blacker than tar
These men of Sudan
Black is Darfur
These days
Refugee camps
Spreading disease
Patrols across
The border with ease
Call in the UN
To talk a lot
And drop some food
And guns in the laps
Of the criminal traps
These thugs have got
Set up in hiding
Or in sunlight shining
A genocide thriving
Over black men
Blacker than tar
And black oil in the ground
Which is the Arab's crude pound.
Triptych
The moon glowed gold tonight like
A tooth in the sky, curved to rend the flesh
Or just a horn of plenty gone to find itself some rest
Yes, the moon glowed gold tonight.
I was watching as it sneaked through the trees, yeah
Watch it travel in whatever way it pleased
A swarm of bees was buzzing all the day, yeah
I was sleeping for to make them go away.
To make everything the sun showed go away.
Now it's night again, Lord oh Lord
Time for all good men
To do the Christian thing and tuck in
But my spirit is tired; I don't know where it's been.
The city lights were dim and distant tonight
And I turned around, seeing black and white
Police car out of service made me nervous
Policemen are the Devil's children.
Now it's night again, Lord of Lords
Time for all true men
Who feel it in their hearts
To take shelter from the dark, unseeing.
What am I to be if not a human being?
What will all the people in the city think of me?
What will they whisper if they know that I'm not free?
What kind of coward is afraid of anything?
What kind of father will I make when the spring
Turns to summer and a mother feels I'm not worth a thing?
What about the fall when the animals call
What about the changing of the old roles for all?
What about love when the chill of winter crawls
Over mountains where the people make their sprawl?
What about the memories of names etched in a wall
Dying to save what was always bound to fall?
Why all the tears when they met you in the hall?
Why so many cheers when the other man's gone?
Got what he gave out and now the righteous ones bawl
Who kept their sons here to play scholarship football
Only the poor and desperate ever heed the call
Huns of California trying to build a new wall
Me I've got my own life and it hasn't got room
For fighting any wars or have me marching off to doom
To see the zippered body bags who's harvest came too soon
To see the coffins stacked up to the moon.
Some people need anger management for stress
Others compassion in a crash-course lesson
Some need to learn tact
Others need to learn to look back
At themselves in the mirror when they
Hear their words of vitriol attack.
Some people should go dig a hole and die
Some people would like just that
But they don't know how
Some people live like robots and can't say why
They persist in doing what they do
Some people are evil yet they haven't got a clue.
The moon glowed gold tonight like
A fang in the sky, curved to rend the flesh
Or maybe just a baby out to find itself some rest
Who the righteous bless can never truly die
Under the ribbon of a milky white sky, yes
The moon glowed gold tonight.
God save our souls tonight.
The moon glowed gold tonight like
A tooth in the sky, curved to rend the flesh
Or just a horn of plenty gone to find itself some rest
Yes, the moon glowed gold tonight.
I was watching as it sneaked through the trees, yeah
Watch it travel in whatever way it pleased
A swarm of bees was buzzing all the day, yeah
I was sleeping for to make them go away.
To make everything the sun showed go away.
Now it's night again, Lord oh Lord
Time for all good men
To do the Christian thing and tuck in
But my spirit is tired; I don't know where it's been.
The city lights were dim and distant tonight
And I turned around, seeing black and white
Police car out of service made me nervous
Policemen are the Devil's children.
Now it's night again, Lord of Lords
Time for all true men
Who feel it in their hearts
To take shelter from the dark, unseeing.
What am I to be if not a human being?
What will all the people in the city think of me?
What will they whisper if they know that I'm not free?
What kind of coward is afraid of anything?
What kind of father will I make when the spring
Turns to summer and a mother feels I'm not worth a thing?
What about the fall when the animals call
What about the changing of the old roles for all?
What about love when the chill of winter crawls
Over mountains where the people make their sprawl?
What about the memories of names etched in a wall
Dying to save what was always bound to fall?
Why all the tears when they met you in the hall?
Why so many cheers when the other man's gone?
Got what he gave out and now the righteous ones bawl
Who kept their sons here to play scholarship football
Only the poor and desperate ever heed the call
Huns of California trying to build a new wall
Me I've got my own life and it hasn't got room
For fighting any wars or have me marching off to doom
To see the zippered body bags who's harvest came too soon
To see the coffins stacked up to the moon.
Some people need anger management for stress
Others compassion in a crash-course lesson
Some need to learn tact
Others need to learn to look back
At themselves in the mirror when they
Hear their words of vitriol attack.
Some people should go dig a hole and die
Some people would like just that
But they don't know how
Some people live like robots and can't say why
They persist in doing what they do
Some people are evil yet they haven't got a clue.
The moon glowed gold tonight like
A fang in the sky, curved to rend the flesh
Or maybe just a baby out to find itself some rest
Who the righteous bless can never truly die
Under the ribbon of a milky white sky, yes
The moon glowed gold tonight.
God save our souls tonight.
Sunday, August 19
Oh Deer!
I was at my computer bright and early in the morning, just shortly after dawn, and what do I see just outside my window? Deer. This family of deer live off in those trees you see, a sizable area of wilderness with its own creek, cricket team (the small ones that rub their legs together), and all-marble countertops. Actually I see these deer almost every dawn and dusk as they use the dirt trackway near me to move about and search for better browsing. I've just never seen them this close. I was fumbling for my camera while trying not to move too quickly or make any loud noises, hoping it had fresh batteries and that I could point it in the direction of the deer without scaring them off. In total they were only there a couple of minutes at most - I think my presence even through a window had them spooked. But they did manage to munch quite a bit in those few minutes. Like ostriches, one would have its head up looking at me (and occasionally off to either side) while the other two ate. Then one of those would pop its head up and the former guard would start to chow. They seemed to rotate the watchman's chore pretty regularly. All looked ready to bolt in an instant, as indeed they did just as soon as I got these pictures snapped.Here they come

The big doe takes first watch

I wonder what this fawn is laughing about

Now she sees me directly... damn autofocus thought the trees behind her were way more interesting. I had no time to get my manual camera though. Too bad, this would have been a great shot...

Muncharoo time for one of the fawns

The pictures didn't come out the greatest due to the rushed circumstances and the stupid autofocus that kept wanting to make either my dirty window or the distant shrubbery the main subject. But at least I got some proof of just how close they were. I'd estimate 8-10 feet from where I sat, through a window of course. They must be intelligent enough to recognize I'm inside a place, to be willing to approach so closely. I thought they'd bolt the minute they saw me, but I guess they trusted the glass more than I would have thought. Amazing!
UNTITLED
Is it too late to be a doctor
A photographer
Or an author?
Why should anyone even bother
To be a scientist
Or a philosopher?
Because there are people in the world
With fears exactly like mine
Who need the same answers I do
Drowning people don't all drown at once
In a boat that's always rising and sinking
We need to man the buckets together
And make the time we were handed better
Fashion a bit of hope or at least comfort each other
On the way down
Is it too late to be a doctor
A photographer
Or an author?
Why should anyone even bother
To be a scientist
Or a philosopher?
Because there are people in the world
With fears exactly like mine
Who need the same answers I do
Drowning people don't all drown at once
In a boat that's always rising and sinking
We need to man the buckets together
And make the time we were handed better
Fashion a bit of hope or at least comfort each other
On the way down
Saturday, August 18
Syd Barrett
(6 January 1946 – 7 July 2006)
Remember when you were young?
You shone like the sun.
Missed his birthday a bit now it's been a tit more than a year since syd barrett was here, leader of the floyd's original lineup they lined up for, and died a hollow shell of a man battered by drugs and mental illness brain scratched by the terror of truth that lay behind all the black of the stars, bald and fat and childlike starved living in his mother's home refusing all contact with the outside world except to whirl in a studio one day with no hair on his face or anywhere and say nothing but turn round and spark up a fag in the lamplight and snap up a train back to dawn.
I thought I would leave some of his lyrics here to mourn his story, which for some of us is part of our story too and lives on... and on.
~
WINED AND DINED
wined and dined, oh it seemed just like a dream!
girl was so kind
kind of love I'd never seen
only last summer, it's not so long ago
just last summer, now musk winds blow
wined and dined, oh it seemed just like a dream!
girl was so kind
kind of love I'd never seen
chalk underfoot, life I should prove soon
dancing in heat, our love and you
TERRAPIN
I really love you, and I mean you
the star above you, crystal blue
well oh baby my hair's on end about you
I wouldn't see you and I love to
I fly above you, yes I do
well oh baby my hair's on end about you
floating bumping noses dodge a tooth
the fins a luminous
fangs all 'round the clown
is dark below the boulders hiding all
the sunlight's good for us
'cause we're the fishes and all we do
a-move about is all we do
well oh baby my hair's on end about you
NO MAN'S LAND
you would hold your head up high
you even try
you would hold another hand
oh understand
they even see me under call
we under all,
we all follow foot crawl
to hear my hour
come see me cry
just searching you even try
I can make you smile
if it's there will you go there too?
when I live I die!
they even see me under call
we under all
we all follow foot crawl
because of you
to see me be
OCTOPUS
trip to heave and ho, up down, to and fro'
you have no word
trip, trip to a dream dragon
hide your wings in a ghost tower
sails cackling at every plate we break
cracked by scattered needles
the little minute gong
coughs and clears his throat
madam you see before you stand
hey ho, never be still
the old original favorite grand
grasshoppers green herbarian band
and the tune they play is "in us confide"
so trip to heave and ho, up down, to and fro'
you have no word
please leave us here
close our eyes to the octopus ride
isn't it good to be lost in the wood
isn't it bad, so quiet there in the wood
meant even less to me than I thought
with a honey plough of yellow prickly seeds
clover honey pots and mystic shining feed
well, the madcap laughed at the man on the border
hey ho, huff the talbot
"cheat" he cried shouting kangaroo
it's true in their tree they cried
please leave us here
close our eyes to the octopus ride
the madcap laughed at the man on the border
hey ho, huff the talbot
the winds they blew and the leaves did wag
they'll never put me in their bag
the seas will reach and always seep
so high you go, so low you creep
the wind it blows in tropical heat
the drones they throng on mossy seats
the squeaking door will always squeak
two up, two down we'll never see
so merrily trip forgo my side
please leave us here
close our eyes to the octopus ride
GOLDEN HAIR
lean out your window, golden hair
I heard you singing in the midnight air
my book is closed, I read no more
watching the fire dance on the floor
I've left my book, I've left my room
for I heard you singing through the gloom
singing and singing, a merry air
lean out your window, golden hair
SHE TOOK A LONG COLD LOOK
she took a long cold look at me
and smiled and gazed all over my arm
she loves to see me get down to ground
she hasn't time just to be with me
her face between all she means to be
to be extreme, just to be a thing
a broken pier on the wavy sea
she wonders why for all she wants to see
but I got up and I stomped around
and hid the piece where the trees touch the ground
the end of truth that lay out the time
spent lazing here on a painting dream
a mile or more in a foreign clime
to see farther inside of me
and looking high up into the sky
I breathe as the water streams over me
SWAN LEE (SILAS LANG)
swan lee got up at the running foot pow-wow,
pleaded from the fire to his waiting canoe
chattering squaw untied the wigwam door,
the chief blew smoke rings two by two!
the land in silence stands
swan lee, his boat by the bank in the darkness,
loosened the rope in the creek is entwined
a feather from the wing of a wild young eagle,
pointed to the land where his fortune he'd find
the land in silence stands
swan lee paddled on from the land of his fathers
his eyes scanned the undergrowth on either side
from the shore hung a hot, heavy, creature infested
tropic, swan lee had a bow by his side
the land in silence stands
swan lee kept time, half on land, half on water
grizzly bear and raccoon his fare
he followed his ears to the great waterfall,
swan lee knew deep down that his squaw was there
the land in silence stands
suddenly the rush of the mighty great thunder
confronted swan lee as his song he sang
in the dawn with his squaw, he was battling homeward,
it was all written down by long silas lang
FLAMING
alone in the clouds all blue
lying on an eiderdown
yippee, you can't see me
but I can you
lazing in the foggy dew
sitting on a unicorn
no fair, you can't hear me
but I can you
watching buttercups cup the light
sleeping on a dandelion
too much, I won't touch you
but then I might
screaming through the starlit sky
traveling by telephone
hey ho, here we go
ever so high
alone in the clouds all blue
lying on an eiderdown
yippee, you can't see me
but I can you
CHAPTER 24
a movement is accomplished in six stages
and the seventh brings return
the seven is the number of the young light
it forms when darkness is increased by one
change returns success
going and coming without error
action brings good fortune
sunset
the time is with the month of winter solstice
when the change is due to come
thunder in the other course of heaven
things cannot be destroyed once and for all
change returns success
going and coming without error
action brings good fortune
sunset
a movement is accomplished in six stages
and the seventh brings return
the seven is the number of the young light
it forms when darkness is increased by one
change returns success
going and coming without error
action brings good fortune
sunset
THE SCARECROW
the black and green scarecrow as everyone knows
stood with a bird on his hat and straw everywhere
he didn't care
he stood in a field where barley grows
his head did no thinking
his arms didn't move except when the wind cut up
rough and mice ran around on the ground
he stood in a field where barley grows
the black and green scarecrow is sadder than me
but now he's resigned to his fate
'cause life's not unkind - he doesn't mind
he stood in a field where barley grows
JUGBAND BLUES
it's awfully considerate of you to think of me here
and I'm much obliged to you for making it clear
that I'm not here
and I never knew the moon could be so big
and I never knew the moon could be so blue
and I'm grateful that you threw away my old shoes
and brought me here instead dressed in red
and I'm wondering who could be writing this song.
I don't care if the sun don't shine
and I don't care if nothing is mine
and I don't care if I'm nervous with you
I'll do my loving in the winter
and the sea isn't green
and I love the queen
and what exactly is a dream
and what exactly is a joke
SEE EMILY PLAY
emily tries but misunderstands
she's often inclined to borrow
somebody's dreams till tomorrow
there is no other day
let's try it another way
you'll lose your mind at play
free games till may
see emily play
soon after dark emily cries
gazing through trees in sorrow
hardly a sound till tomorrow
there is no other day
let's try it another way
you'll lose your mind in play
free games for may
see emily play
put on a gown that touches the ground
float on a river forever and ever
emily
there is no other day
let's try it another way
you'll lose your mind and play
free games for may
see emily play
DARK GLOBE
oh where are you now
pussy willow that smiled on this leaf?
when I was alone you promised the stone from your heart
my head kissed the ground
I was half the way down, treading the sand
please, please, lift a hand
I'm only a person whose arm bands beat
on his hands hang tall
won't you miss me?
wouldn't you miss me at all?
the poppy birds way
swing twigs coffee brands around
brandish her wand with a feathery tongue
my head kissed the ground
I was half the way down, treading the sand
please, please, lift a hand
I'm only a person with eskimo chain
I tattooed my brain all the way
won't you miss me?
wouldn't you miss me at all?
(6 January 1946 – 7 July 2006)
Remember when you were young?You shone like the sun.
Missed his birthday a bit now it's been a tit more than a year since syd barrett was here, leader of the floyd's original lineup they lined up for, and died a hollow shell of a man battered by drugs and mental illness brain scratched by the terror of truth that lay behind all the black of the stars, bald and fat and childlike starved living in his mother's home refusing all contact with the outside world except to whirl in a studio one day with no hair on his face or anywhere and say nothing but turn round and spark up a fag in the lamplight and snap up a train back to dawn.
I thought I would leave some of his lyrics here to mourn his story, which for some of us is part of our story too and lives on... and on.
~
WINED AND DINED
wined and dined, oh it seemed just like a dream!
girl was so kind
kind of love I'd never seen
only last summer, it's not so long ago
just last summer, now musk winds blow
wined and dined, oh it seemed just like a dream!
girl was so kind
kind of love I'd never seen
chalk underfoot, life I should prove soon
dancing in heat, our love and you
TERRAPIN
I really love you, and I mean you
the star above you, crystal blue
well oh baby my hair's on end about you
I wouldn't see you and I love to
I fly above you, yes I do
well oh baby my hair's on end about you
floating bumping noses dodge a tooth
the fins a luminous
fangs all 'round the clown
is dark below the boulders hiding all
the sunlight's good for us
'cause we're the fishes and all we do
a-move about is all we do
well oh baby my hair's on end about you
NO MAN'S LAND
you would hold your head up high
you even try
you would hold another hand
oh understand
they even see me under call
we under all,
we all follow foot crawl
to hear my hour
come see me cry
just searching you even try
I can make you smile
if it's there will you go there too?
when I live I die!
they even see me under call
we under all
we all follow foot crawl
because of you
to see me be
OCTOPUS
trip to heave and ho, up down, to and fro'
you have no word
trip, trip to a dream dragon
hide your wings in a ghost tower
sails cackling at every plate we break
cracked by scattered needles
the little minute gong
coughs and clears his throat
madam you see before you stand
hey ho, never be still
the old original favorite grand
grasshoppers green herbarian band
and the tune they play is "in us confide"
so trip to heave and ho, up down, to and fro'
you have no word
please leave us here
close our eyes to the octopus ride
isn't it good to be lost in the wood
isn't it bad, so quiet there in the wood
meant even less to me than I thought
with a honey plough of yellow prickly seeds
clover honey pots and mystic shining feed
well, the madcap laughed at the man on the border
hey ho, huff the talbot
"cheat" he cried shouting kangaroo
it's true in their tree they cried
please leave us here
close our eyes to the octopus ride
the madcap laughed at the man on the border
hey ho, huff the talbot
the winds they blew and the leaves did wag
they'll never put me in their bag
the seas will reach and always seep
so high you go, so low you creep
the wind it blows in tropical heat
the drones they throng on mossy seats
the squeaking door will always squeak
two up, two down we'll never see
so merrily trip forgo my side
please leave us here
close our eyes to the octopus ride
GOLDEN HAIR
lean out your window, golden hair
I heard you singing in the midnight air
my book is closed, I read no more
watching the fire dance on the floor
I've left my book, I've left my room
for I heard you singing through the gloom
singing and singing, a merry air
lean out your window, golden hair
SHE TOOK A LONG COLD LOOK
she took a long cold look at me
and smiled and gazed all over my arm
she loves to see me get down to ground
she hasn't time just to be with me
her face between all she means to be
to be extreme, just to be a thing
a broken pier on the wavy sea
she wonders why for all she wants to see
but I got up and I stomped around
and hid the piece where the trees touch the ground
the end of truth that lay out the time
spent lazing here on a painting dream
a mile or more in a foreign clime
to see farther inside of me
and looking high up into the sky
I breathe as the water streams over me
SWAN LEE (SILAS LANG)
swan lee got up at the running foot pow-wow,
pleaded from the fire to his waiting canoe
chattering squaw untied the wigwam door,
the chief blew smoke rings two by two!
the land in silence stands
swan lee, his boat by the bank in the darkness,
loosened the rope in the creek is entwined
a feather from the wing of a wild young eagle,
pointed to the land where his fortune he'd find
the land in silence stands
swan lee paddled on from the land of his fathers
his eyes scanned the undergrowth on either side
from the shore hung a hot, heavy, creature infested
tropic, swan lee had a bow by his side
the land in silence stands
swan lee kept time, half on land, half on water
grizzly bear and raccoon his fare
he followed his ears to the great waterfall,
swan lee knew deep down that his squaw was there
the land in silence stands
suddenly the rush of the mighty great thunder
confronted swan lee as his song he sang
in the dawn with his squaw, he was battling homeward,
it was all written down by long silas lang
FLAMING
alone in the clouds all blue
lying on an eiderdown
yippee, you can't see me
but I can you
lazing in the foggy dew
sitting on a unicorn
no fair, you can't hear me
but I can you
watching buttercups cup the light
sleeping on a dandelion
too much, I won't touch you
but then I might
screaming through the starlit sky
traveling by telephone
hey ho, here we go
ever so high
alone in the clouds all blue
lying on an eiderdown
yippee, you can't see me
but I can you
CHAPTER 24
a movement is accomplished in six stages
and the seventh brings return
the seven is the number of the young light
it forms when darkness is increased by one
change returns success
going and coming without error
action brings good fortune
sunset
the time is with the month of winter solstice
when the change is due to come
thunder in the other course of heaven
things cannot be destroyed once and for all
change returns success
going and coming without error
action brings good fortune
sunset
a movement is accomplished in six stages
and the seventh brings return
the seven is the number of the young light
it forms when darkness is increased by one
change returns success
going and coming without error
action brings good fortune
sunset
THE SCARECROW
the black and green scarecrow as everyone knows
stood with a bird on his hat and straw everywhere
he didn't care
he stood in a field where barley grows
his head did no thinking
his arms didn't move except when the wind cut up
rough and mice ran around on the ground
he stood in a field where barley grows
the black and green scarecrow is sadder than me
but now he's resigned to his fate
'cause life's not unkind - he doesn't mind
he stood in a field where barley grows
JUGBAND BLUES
it's awfully considerate of you to think of me here
and I'm much obliged to you for making it clear
that I'm not here
and I never knew the moon could be so big
and I never knew the moon could be so blue
and I'm grateful that you threw away my old shoes
and brought me here instead dressed in red
and I'm wondering who could be writing this song.
I don't care if the sun don't shine
and I don't care if nothing is mine
and I don't care if I'm nervous with you
I'll do my loving in the winter
and the sea isn't green
and I love the queen
and what exactly is a dream
and what exactly is a joke
SEE EMILY PLAY
emily tries but misunderstands
she's often inclined to borrow
somebody's dreams till tomorrow
there is no other day
let's try it another way
you'll lose your mind at play
free games till may
see emily play
soon after dark emily cries
gazing through trees in sorrow
hardly a sound till tomorrow
there is no other day
let's try it another way
you'll lose your mind in play
free games for may
see emily play
put on a gown that touches the ground
float on a river forever and ever
emily
there is no other day
let's try it another way
you'll lose your mind and play
free games for may
see emily play
DARK GLOBE
oh where are you now
pussy willow that smiled on this leaf?
when I was alone you promised the stone from your heart
my head kissed the ground
I was half the way down, treading the sand
please, please, lift a hand
I'm only a person whose arm bands beat
on his hands hang tall
won't you miss me?
wouldn't you miss me at all?
the poppy birds way
swing twigs coffee brands around
brandish her wand with a feathery tongue
my head kissed the ground
I was half the way down, treading the sand
please, please, lift a hand
I'm only a person with eskimo chain
I tattooed my brain all the way
won't you miss me?
wouldn't you miss me at all?
Friday, August 17
"I Know Very Well How I Got My Name"
(Morrissey)
A child in a curious phase
A man with sullen ways
Oh, I know very well how I got my name
You think you were my first love
You think you were my first love, but you're wrong...
You were the only one
Who's come and gone
When thirteen years old
Who dyed his hair gold
Oh, I know very well, I don't need to be told
You think you were my first love
You think you were my first love, but you're wrong...
You were the only one
Who's come and gone.
(Morrissey)
A child in a curious phase
A man with sullen ways
Oh, I know very well how I got my name
You think you were my first love
You think you were my first love, but you're wrong...
You were the only one
Who's come and gone
When thirteen years old
Who dyed his hair gold
Oh, I know very well, I don't need to be told
You think you were my first love
You think you were my first love, but you're wrong...
You were the only one
Who's come and gone.
Thursday, August 16
Cauduceus.
I recently watched a six-part documentary series on PBS called RX For Survival. Not the snappiest name, but it was a very well-made program (narrated by Brad Pitt for those who care, not that I noticed till episode 3 - he does a great job of keeping a very even and rational tone, which is comforting in a documentary; the emotional approach has never worked for me). The first episode was about vaccines and detailed the smallpox eradication program that ended in the 70s with an entire virus wiped from the face of the planet for the first time. Of course other deadly viruses still persist, mostly in the developing world, and more are emerging all the time. The second episode went more into bacteriology and the logistical challenges faced by the World Health Organization, UNICEF, Doctors Without Borders, and other organizations who are trying to get medicines that exist to people that need them, and it's quite a challenge, nearly impossible in some places for one reason or another (warfare, lack of roads, religious mandates against medications).
I won't detail every episode, but the series as a whole touched on pretty much everything from viruses and bacteria to malnourishment and poor infrastructure, and also explored the reasons medicines lose their effectiveness, why new medicines or vaccines are often so expensive and what is involved in making them, why many drug companies have pulled out of those markets in favor of producing more lucrative pill-a-day products like Viagra and cholesterol meds, and scenarios that are being modeled and pondered by health experts around the globe concerning future epidemics or pandemics, such as the mutated form of H5N1, the avian flu virus, that everyone worries about. HIV/AIDS, polio, pallegra, scurvy, yellow fever, TB, and just about everything else you've heard of is mentioned in some detail as part of the ongoing narrative of how communicable disease and nutritional deficits were studied, understood, and cured. Some brief historical reenactments demonstrate pivotal moments of the story, from Pasteur's postulation of the germ theory of disease, doing away with all the bad airs and humours and other nonsense of the Middle Ages, to Fleming's fortuitous discovery of penicillin.
Modern human stories from Africa, Southeast Asia, South America, and even the "developed" world are focused on as well, and we get to know and see the lives of real people with names and faces who suffer from health plagues, as well as aid workers who struggle to help them. The writing is tight and balanced. It's never sentimental or sappy; you never get the feeling you're watching something made by Greenpeace or PETA. Yet it's also not strictly an armchair scientific look at disease - I found myself moved many times by the courage and selflessness of people who faced death or who felt a responsibility to risk their lives for the dying. In hospitals overcrowded and ill-equipped to handle large outbreaks, doctors and nurses worked around the clock to combat even seemingly hopelessly lost causes. Many doctors are volunteers who left lucrative Western practices to try to make an impact on public health in a larger way.
And surprisingly there have been many success stories. I wasn't left feeling gloomy about the future of world health, but rather carefully optimistic that if peace and stability can be brought to regions politically (a big if, always), local people can be empowered to take and distribute their own medications and vaccines, ensure their own sanitary water supplies, and grow and eat the right kinds of food to keep themselves healthy. And the ironic thing is, instead of this causing the population explosion you might expect, it tends to level off growth in these areas to sustainable levels, as family planning becomes part of health education and families don't feel the need to have so many children in the risk (or certainty) that most will die. All in all, I highly recommend watching this series if you get the chance. It has made me rethink my own role in the world and my (relative) comfort in the face of so much poverty and disease. But I no longer think of it as this depressing, seething wall against which individuals have no power. Nor do I see pharmaceutical companies as the root of all evil - they have a role to play like everyone else in the story, for good and for bad.
I've seen the story of a non-wealthy couple from the USA making "ambulance sidecars" for motorcycles to reach a series of African villages that otherwise would be a half-day's walk from the nearest doctor. I've seen the story of the two doctors who gave simple vitamin A drops to millions of children in Indonesia and Tibet and watched "nightblindness" disappear almost literally overnight. I've seen the story of the American-educated Botswanan doctor who returned to his native country to set up an AIDS eradication program, which is now the model upon which 70 other countries around the world are basing their own programs. There is so much that can be done to give people better lives, and not all of it is rocket science or science fiction. Some of it is just willingness or hard work. And there's hope - there doesn't have to be an endless cycle of poverty and disease, though if you watch CNN to form your world views that's the conclusion you'll undoubtedly reach as you sink further into your sofa. The problems of the world won't go away any time soon, but they will never go away if people, especially in the affluent areas of the world, don't do anything to help.
I recently watched a six-part documentary series on PBS called RX For Survival. Not the snappiest name, but it was a very well-made program (narrated by Brad Pitt for those who care, not that I noticed till episode 3 - he does a great job of keeping a very even and rational tone, which is comforting in a documentary; the emotional approach has never worked for me). The first episode was about vaccines and detailed the smallpox eradication program that ended in the 70s with an entire virus wiped from the face of the planet for the first time. Of course other deadly viruses still persist, mostly in the developing world, and more are emerging all the time. The second episode went more into bacteriology and the logistical challenges faced by the World Health Organization, UNICEF, Doctors Without Borders, and other organizations who are trying to get medicines that exist to people that need them, and it's quite a challenge, nearly impossible in some places for one reason or another (warfare, lack of roads, religious mandates against medications).
I won't detail every episode, but the series as a whole touched on pretty much everything from viruses and bacteria to malnourishment and poor infrastructure, and also explored the reasons medicines lose their effectiveness, why new medicines or vaccines are often so expensive and what is involved in making them, why many drug companies have pulled out of those markets in favor of producing more lucrative pill-a-day products like Viagra and cholesterol meds, and scenarios that are being modeled and pondered by health experts around the globe concerning future epidemics or pandemics, such as the mutated form of H5N1, the avian flu virus, that everyone worries about. HIV/AIDS, polio, pallegra, scurvy, yellow fever, TB, and just about everything else you've heard of is mentioned in some detail as part of the ongoing narrative of how communicable disease and nutritional deficits were studied, understood, and cured. Some brief historical reenactments demonstrate pivotal moments of the story, from Pasteur's postulation of the germ theory of disease, doing away with all the bad airs and humours and other nonsense of the Middle Ages, to Fleming's fortuitous discovery of penicillin.
Modern human stories from Africa, Southeast Asia, South America, and even the "developed" world are focused on as well, and we get to know and see the lives of real people with names and faces who suffer from health plagues, as well as aid workers who struggle to help them. The writing is tight and balanced. It's never sentimental or sappy; you never get the feeling you're watching something made by Greenpeace or PETA. Yet it's also not strictly an armchair scientific look at disease - I found myself moved many times by the courage and selflessness of people who faced death or who felt a responsibility to risk their lives for the dying. In hospitals overcrowded and ill-equipped to handle large outbreaks, doctors and nurses worked around the clock to combat even seemingly hopelessly lost causes. Many doctors are volunteers who left lucrative Western practices to try to make an impact on public health in a larger way.
And surprisingly there have been many success stories. I wasn't left feeling gloomy about the future of world health, but rather carefully optimistic that if peace and stability can be brought to regions politically (a big if, always), local people can be empowered to take and distribute their own medications and vaccines, ensure their own sanitary water supplies, and grow and eat the right kinds of food to keep themselves healthy. And the ironic thing is, instead of this causing the population explosion you might expect, it tends to level off growth in these areas to sustainable levels, as family planning becomes part of health education and families don't feel the need to have so many children in the risk (or certainty) that most will die. All in all, I highly recommend watching this series if you get the chance. It has made me rethink my own role in the world and my (relative) comfort in the face of so much poverty and disease. But I no longer think of it as this depressing, seething wall against which individuals have no power. Nor do I see pharmaceutical companies as the root of all evil - they have a role to play like everyone else in the story, for good and for bad.
I've seen the story of a non-wealthy couple from the USA making "ambulance sidecars" for motorcycles to reach a series of African villages that otherwise would be a half-day's walk from the nearest doctor. I've seen the story of the two doctors who gave simple vitamin A drops to millions of children in Indonesia and Tibet and watched "nightblindness" disappear almost literally overnight. I've seen the story of the American-educated Botswanan doctor who returned to his native country to set up an AIDS eradication program, which is now the model upon which 70 other countries around the world are basing their own programs. There is so much that can be done to give people better lives, and not all of it is rocket science or science fiction. Some of it is just willingness or hard work. And there's hope - there doesn't have to be an endless cycle of poverty and disease, though if you watch CNN to form your world views that's the conclusion you'll undoubtedly reach as you sink further into your sofa. The problems of the world won't go away any time soon, but they will never go away if people, especially in the affluent areas of the world, don't do anything to help.
(For Susannah)
Straight arrow answers are never so straight
Truth told for art's sake is false and unkind
Only in watching and seeing and listening
Only by hearing, the fragments unwind
Families of deer wheel in front of my window
Fauns on the leafpaths to some sylvan ritual
Out of these dreams come the truth we agree on
Seeming so concrete, the truths that we make
Now in the morning, the dew in the footprints
Deeper they wander, we lose them forever
Blind to the forces of nature that move us
Deaf to the music each atom is humming
Legions of songbirds descend in the trees
Tracing the paths of their ghostly ancestors
Eons uncounted with no one to hear them
Kept in our wombs we could hear all the same
Minutes till sunrise and hours till evening
Rabbits are gathering and laughter is leaving
I am the noontime that sleeps in the shadows
You are shadow that keeps me from burning
Buoyed by sunspikes I lifted my gaze
Rose from the kestrels that nested in raindrops
Straight until morning for hours unending
Leaving the picture to suss out the laughter
Time is religion to those who are dying
Love is the answer that brings out the living
I can hear whispers in forests around me
Far from the murder that grows in the cities
Time is a burden to those who are crying
I can see worlds on the head of a pin
Eating its tail no beginning no ending
Love is the answer that brings out the living
Solemn we seek out the forest enchantments
Fixing our senses and traveling together
Shadowless figures who travel in pairs
Robes lit by candles, a clearing at dawn
Straight is the arrow that seeks for my heart
Welcome the exit of incarnate strangers
Here is the halfway of heaven and kingdom
Witness the deer and the spinning of falcons
No rain that falls can extinguish your fire
Words cannot damage a heart that is lifted
Love is the answer that brings out the living
Straight is the arrow that loosens the shackles
Back to my room in middle of morning
Back to the sea where the seabirds are gathering
Paths that we wandered were only pretending
Back to the lifeforce we children have come.
Straight arrow answers are never so straight
Truth told for art's sake is false and unkind
Only in watching and seeing and listening
Only by hearing, the fragments unwind
Families of deer wheel in front of my window
Fauns on the leafpaths to some sylvan ritual
Out of these dreams come the truth we agree on
Seeming so concrete, the truths that we make
Now in the morning, the dew in the footprints
Deeper they wander, we lose them forever
Blind to the forces of nature that move us
Deaf to the music each atom is humming
Legions of songbirds descend in the trees
Tracing the paths of their ghostly ancestors
Eons uncounted with no one to hear them
Kept in our wombs we could hear all the same
Minutes till sunrise and hours till evening
Rabbits are gathering and laughter is leaving
I am the noontime that sleeps in the shadows
You are shadow that keeps me from burning
Buoyed by sunspikes I lifted my gaze
Rose from the kestrels that nested in raindrops
Straight until morning for hours unending
Leaving the picture to suss out the laughter
Time is religion to those who are dying
Love is the answer that brings out the living
I can hear whispers in forests around me
Far from the murder that grows in the cities
Time is a burden to those who are crying
I can see worlds on the head of a pin
Eating its tail no beginning no ending
Love is the answer that brings out the living
Solemn we seek out the forest enchantments
Fixing our senses and traveling together
Shadowless figures who travel in pairs
Robes lit by candles, a clearing at dawn
Straight is the arrow that seeks for my heart
Welcome the exit of incarnate strangers
Here is the halfway of heaven and kingdom
Witness the deer and the spinning of falcons
No rain that falls can extinguish your fire
Words cannot damage a heart that is lifted
Love is the answer that brings out the living
Straight is the arrow that loosens the shackles
Back to my room in middle of morning
Back to the sea where the seabirds are gathering
Paths that we wandered were only pretending
Back to the lifeforce we children have come.
Wednesday, August 8
Taking a break.
I just don't feel into blogging right now. I'm staying off my computer more, trying to get outside, trying to work on straightening up my place. Trying to stay away from land mines.
I'll be back soon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week. I can't even say. I've just been worn down recently and need to recharge my batteries with new things to say and ways to say them.
And take some time for myself, which may sound silly seeing how much time I spend alone. But I mean it in a different way I guess. Unplugged maybe?
I may or may not check email or other blogs, I can't promise anything. It's not like anyone's hanging on my words anyway, I'm not that vain.
Well, see you sometime soon hopefully. No need to worry about me - this is my mini summer break is all.
Meta.
I just don't feel into blogging right now. I'm staying off my computer more, trying to get outside, trying to work on straightening up my place. Trying to stay away from land mines.
I'll be back soon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week. I can't even say. I've just been worn down recently and need to recharge my batteries with new things to say and ways to say them.
And take some time for myself, which may sound silly seeing how much time I spend alone. But I mean it in a different way I guess. Unplugged maybe?
I may or may not check email or other blogs, I can't promise anything. It's not like anyone's hanging on my words anyway, I'm not that vain.
Well, see you sometime soon hopefully. No need to worry about me - this is my mini summer break is all.
Meta.
Tuesday, August 7
with sadness
nicky, I miss you
don't leave me like this, without you
find me here
if you want adventure, I'll go with you
if you fall, I'll catch you
if you want love, I already love you
if you want fun, I will make you laugh
you can laugh right at me
and my attempts to be gallant
I just want my chance
like anyone
to win your heart and make you happy
you don't have to change who you are
for anyone
nicky, I miss you
don't leave me like this, without you
find me here
if you want adventure, I'll go with you
if you fall, I'll catch you
if you want love, I already love you
if you want fun, I will make you laugh
you can laugh right at me
and my attempts to be gallant
I just want my chance
like anyone
to win your heart and make you happy
you don't have to change who you are
for anyone
Sunday, August 5
"What's this guy thinking?"
Here's a new little game for the blog. I show a picture of some sort, indicate who I'm talking about, and then ask the question "What's this guy thinking?" Or girl of course.
For this one, you can choose the cow, the woman, or both and tell us all... "What's this __ thinking?" Kinda like a caption-that-picture contest, which we'll do some of too in the future.
Here's a new little game for the blog. I show a picture of some sort, indicate who I'm talking about, and then ask the question "What's this guy thinking?" Or girl of course.
For this one, you can choose the cow, the woman, or both and tell us all... "What's this __ thinking?" Kinda like a caption-that-picture contest, which we'll do some of too in the future.
Buddhism
The Four Noble Truths
1. Life is suffering
2. Suffering is caused by desire
3. To eliminate suffering, eliminate desire
4. To eliminate desire, follow the Eightfold Path
The Eightfold Path
1. right View
2. right Intention
3. right Speech
4. right Action
5. right Livelihood
6. right Effort
7. right Mindfulness
8. right Concentration
1. Life is suffering
2. Suffering is caused by desire
3. To eliminate suffering, eliminate desire
4. To eliminate desire, follow the Eightfold Path
The Eightfold Path
1. right View
2. right Intention
3. right Speech
4. right Action
5. right Livelihood
6. right Effort
7. right Mindfulness
8. right Concentration
This is Buddhism in a nutshell. Personally I would've made it "The Three Noble Truths" and forgotten about #4, and the whole eightfold path thing. It's not that those things are not important, but they are more like tools, useful ways to achieve Truth #3. It seems subordinate to and more subjective that the first the three, which form a nice syllogism.
But it's all still very good - indeed, essential - advice. At least for some of us. I try to get back to this when I can, but I'm not very good at it! It's very difficult to live your life so strictly, but at least if you try you do better than if you are ignorant and don't care, and continue to act like an animals with its nose buried in the ground. This is my view.
If you're interested in learning more about Buddhism either as a religion (ick) or a philosophy (yay), a helpful place to start is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhism
If you're interested in learning more about the life of Siddhartha Gautama himself (the original teacher of this philosophy), try this page http://www.crystalinks.com/buddha.html
And if you're fascinated by snakes, sorry, can't help you. Try a herpetologist.
Saturday, August 4
Why Christianity and all Religions are Bullshit.
Sorry to burst some people's bubbles out there. Well actually, no I'm not. Not at all.
If you have any intelligence at all to the point you know 1 + 1 = 2, and have at least rudimentary reasoning skills (I threw a lit stick of dynamite at a rock; the rock exploded; the dynamite must have caused the explosion), and yet you STILL believe in a supernatural God (a personal, monotheistic Western-style God, not "God" as being everything or nature itself), then please for the love of Him read this post.
Start here:
God's Plan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nayP4v4xYg
God is Imaginary
http://godisimaginary.com/
Why won't God heal amputees?
http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/
Jesus is Imaginary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUj8hg5CoSw
The Bible is Repulsive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkXOwBIRX7Y
The Bible and God are evil
http://www.evilbible.com/
Penn & Teller - The Bible is Bullshit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RV46fsmx6E
HERB - Had Enough Religious Bullshit
http://edkrebs.com/herb/
A rejection of Pascal's Wager
http://www.geocities.com/paulntobin/index.html
Debunking the Bible
http://www.cygnus-study.com/
The Skeptic's Annotated Bible
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/
The Myth of the Historical Jesus
http://mama.indstate.edu/users/nizrael/jesusrefutation.html
Someone who has some sense - Richard Dawkins
http://richarddawkins.net/
Another one - Daniel Dennett
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3133438412578691486
Then:
• Check the videos of other people on that page like E.O. Wilson
• Read stuff by Isaac Asimov, Carl Sagan, and Douglas Hofstadter
• Actually sit down and READ the Bible, objectively
• Actually sit down and read science books, objectively
and lastly and most importantly of all,
• THINK
For example...
An argument against God based on complexity/information content:
Here is one quick argument against a personal, omnipotent and supernatural God. If God created everything in the universe, he must be more complex than the universe. That is, he must contain more information and obey less restrictive laws than the universe itself to bring about this subcreation, over which he has complete power. Otherwise, he could not be aware of it all and understand it all and would not be omniscient.
The mathematician Kurt Gödel proved with rigid logic that it is impossible for any system to contain a complete explanation of itself. In his case he was referring to mathematics or logical systems, but the same logic can be applied to the universe. Something powerful enough to be all-aware and all-powerful over our universe must by definition have a complete understanding of that universe, PLUS SOME MORE. This is the information "outside the system" that allows him to operate upon the very laws and substance of that universe; to circumvent natural law and be supernatural.
So what created God? If you say another God or being, then the circle continues and this Meta-God must be even more complex and contain more information than the first God. And so on, ad infinitum. Is this what you believe? It's not what the Bible, Torah, or Koran say. The other option is that you believe God "always was and always will be" and this needed no creator. You could easily say the same thing about the universe, or some natural-law abiding multiverse in which it is one realm of many, and cut God, the middle man, out of the picture all together.
Why posit an unlikely explanation to make a supernatural (outside natural law) God-being which is unobservable, and which then goes on to create a universe, when with the exact same amount of credibility stretching, you could say the universe sprang into creation on its own or always existed. It's no more far-fetched than a God who suddenly appeared or who is eternal, right? Same idea? Yet Occam's razor says the simplest answer which explains observable results is likely to be the correct one.
Occam's razor is a guideline and not a proof, but it usually works damn well in the real world, and it would be far easier to postulate that something we know and can see, the universe, popped into existence by some quantum effect on it in the near-singularity stage, say, than it would be to say that that's what happened but there was ALSO an improbable God behind it, even more complex and in need of an explanation, which caused it to be so. There's no need for God to be in the background in this view of things. It can happen naturally by itself. It may strain the mind, but it's at least as credible as the God hypothesis, and it is something that is observable and testable.
In the real world, complex things get built up from simpler foundations. This happens naturally, and it also happens at the hands of people. We don't write a book with a single stroke, we put sentence upon sentence together and build the book up from lots of them. And each sentence is made from words, which are in turn collections of letters. We actually sit and write letters continually; the book is the end product. Books don't spring into existence nor would someone believe a book "always existed."
Single-celled organisms appear first in the fossil record, followed by cell colonies and then multicellular organisms. These build up as you move up the strata layers into more and more complex beings, until you have things like chimps, tigers, and us. Tigers don't appear from nothing in the fossil record, and then reduce over eons into single-celled organisms. In the same way, the universe has built itself into more and more complex structures since the time just after the Bang, when its whole was very nearly homogeneous with only the slightest quantum fluctuations.
So the last point I will make is that everything we know, natural and man-made, seems to go from simple to complex. What reason would we have for supposing there is ONE exception: an invisible, behind-the-scenes God who was not build up from lesser beings but who sprung into existence or always existed as an ultra-complex being more complex than the entire universe itself. It's possible, of course - you can't prove the nonexistence of something. But there is no proof for it. It's possible there is a toaster orbiting Pluto. It's possible people disappear from reality when you're not directly observing them. It's possible your whole life has been a dream. Anything you can think of is possible, but are any of these things *likely?*
I think you would agree they aren't, and if they are than our whole system of logic and belief in any sort of rational order to reality would fall apart and be wrong. There would be no basis for having any reason to make any decision, to believe or disbelieve in anything, or to progress in the understanding of anything, because existence would be fundamentally wacky and you'd go insane wondering if there was any sort of truth or reality at all.
But if you postulate that we are real, and that science has made huge strides in medicine, computers, and all the rest specifically by assuming things are real and obey real laws which we can test with the scientific method, you must face the fact that the universe DOES behave completely rationally all of the time as far as we've observed. There are phenomena we don't yet understand, but that has always been the case. Science marches toward understanding those things, and doesn't lazily attribute mysteries to God and be done with it.
End point: If Reality is self-consistent and can be accepted at face value, why do we need an irrational, unexplainable, and unnecessary outside-the-system entity (God) at all? There is no room for magical Gods in a rational view of reality. In fact, to believe in one would seem to disprove all the other rational views we hold, and we'd have to try to account for the anomaly, and that might be impossible. So we'd go back to believing in any old thing we read or someone tells us, and hate and kill people who did the exact same thing but with another book or story they heard. We would in essence be nothing but mindless animals.
Some other interesting things while we're at it:
Penn & Teller - Mother Teresa did not help the poor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q1m-8npkJ4
Penn & Teller - Gandhi was a nice guy if you weren't black
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-QK35hYIWo
Penn & Teller - The Dalai Lama is not so innocent
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXRmPwWGwBA
Resources:
The Skeptic's Dictionary
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skeptic%27s_Dictionary
Skeptic.com, run by Michael Shermer
http://www.skeptic.com
Bad Astronomy - of course we landed on the moon
http://www.badastronomy.com
Snopes, to check all those internet and email rumors
http://www.snopes.com
KEEP YOUR OWN INDIVIDUAL MINDS OPEN, PEOPLE.
Don't believe what anybody tells you, including me, without convincing yourself first that it is true based on logic or experiment, not their word or my word. Not everything bit of information can be cross-checked of course, which is why we use a mix of past experience, common sense, and trust networks to judge the validity of most trivial things in near real-time. But when it comes to something important, like oh, say, living your entire life based around a book that contradicts itself over and over and advocates abhorrent evils, I think you owe it to yourself to demand proof. Extraordinary claims should demand extraordinary proof from the rational mind.
Be rational, please. Faith is letting someone else do your thinking for you; it makes you a sheep. It takes a bit more work to think for yourself, but hey, you're worth it when it comes to being the one who is correct and not the sucker, right?
Thank you for reading. Pathologically closed-minded people who enjoy conflict and who shun reason for fun or have no capacity for it, get the hell off my site. I get sick of dealing with people like you who contribute nothing but chaos to the world and tear down things that more rational minds have neatly constructed. Go sniff more glue or work on your "Darwin Award" entry.

The Dream, The Circle.
I just had the dream again about infinity, about not being able to wake up, because you just wake up into the dream. And the dream is horrible of course, it's room after room of conveyor belts where all your worst fears are carried out; you are turned into vats of brains, eyeballs, "mash" of soft parts, buckets of fluid, to be reconstituted in the most horrifying fashion int he next room, aware of it all: The creation of the "next" generation with mother's eyes and daddy's nose. There's no escaping or running or waking up (because you get the idea it might be a dream and try those things). You think, at last, I've blown in; I've reached an inescapable, forever hell. Any hope you get is crushed every time you reach a fork and are given a choice, because both choices are wrong, and it's a big circle like if inside each quark at the tiniest level was a big bang, and the ultimate fate of the vastest imaginable universe were contained within that tiny quark. Circular in time, circular in scale. No way out. I slept all night, then slept all day, 24 hours. [This post was written several days ago]. Finally my cat kept bugging me enough that as tired as I was and trapped mentally as though I were on LSD again, I lurched awake and got out of bed and fed him and turned on the lights and typed this, and even now I'm wondering if I'm really "out". I could still be in the dream. And of course there's a bigger way I could not be Out, it's called life, I wake up each day and here I am again; Groundhog day except things don't repeat. But maybe LIFE repeats, after you die. The hellish endless wheel of reincarnation. Something I've feared all my life. So you choose a religion or belief system where there is no earthly reincarnation, but then you have eternal heaven or hell. What's the difference? It's still eternal consciousness, still being trapped with no escape. I think either you learn to lie perfectly still both physically and mentally and that is how you "escape" virtually - you stop your mind from inventing all this stuff around you and escape the illusion of time completely; you attain enlightenment. Or you believe that consciousness is a material function of the brain and that when you die, that's IT - you are gone, forever, and consciousness is broken. I hope that is true. I don't remember anything before I was born, so it's not like I have a memory of endless hells behind me. If memory of eternity is the true fear - after all memory is really life, isn't it? If you don't remember it, then who cares whether it happened or not? (if that question, like the falling tree with no witnesses, even has any meaning - if MEMORY of eternity is the true fear, then maybe brain death/Alzheimer's or true mental no-mind all break that sensation and create the bliss of nothingness. That is the only escape - the way Out is In, or is to cease physically, to a materialist. I don't know what's True if there is such a thing, but I think if you can learn to discipline your mind to resist panic and accept every situation for what it is and not fear anything, then you can reduce your memory to nothing, and that is like dying out of the endless dream. But fear remains close, like an unripe fruit waiting for its moment, and you must stay vigilant by practicing. Unless you're dead I guess.
BLACK SUN
(Brendan Perry)

Murderer.....
Man on fire!!
Murderer!!!!!
I've seen the eyes of Living Dead.
It's the same game,
SURVIVAL:
The great mass play a waiting game.
Embalmed, crippled.
Dying in FEAR of pain.
.....All sense of Freedom gone.....
Black Sun
In a White World.
Like having a
Black Son
In a White World.
I have a son.
His name is EDEN;
It's his birthright.
.....Beyond estranged time.....
Give me 69 Years!!!
Another season in this Hell.....
It's all SEX and DEATH,
As far as I can tell.
Like Prometheus we are bound,
Chained to this Rock
Of a "Brave New World,"
-Our Godforsaken lot.
And I feel,
It's all we've ever needed to know.
'Til worlds end and the
Seas run cold.
Give me 69 Years,
Another season in this Hell.
There is Sex and Death
IN MOTHER NATURE'S PLANS.
Like Prometheus we are bound,
Chained to this Rock
Of a brave new world,
Our godforsaken lot.
.....Our Godforsaken Lot.....
~END~
watch a fan-cam live video version here - audio is ok but not great.
Man on fire!!
Murderer!!!!!
I've seen the eyes of Living Dead.
It's the same game,
SURVIVAL:
The great mass play a waiting game.
Embalmed, crippled.
Dying in FEAR of pain.
.....All sense of Freedom gone.....
Black Sun
In a White World.
Like having a
Black Son
In a White World.
I have a son.
His name is EDEN;
It's his birthright.
.....Beyond estranged time.....
Give me 69 Years!!!
Another season in this Hell.....
It's all SEX and DEATH,
As far as I can tell.
Like Prometheus we are bound,
Chained to this Rock
Of a "Brave New World,"
-Our Godforsaken lot.
And I feel,
It's all we've ever needed to know.
'Til worlds end and the
Seas run cold.
Give me 69 Years,
Another season in this Hell.
There is Sex and Death
IN MOTHER NATURE'S PLANS.
Like Prometheus we are bound,
Chained to this Rock
Of a brave new world,
Our godforsaken lot.
.....Our Godforsaken Lot.....
~END~
watch a fan-cam live video version here - audio is ok but not great.
Friday, August 3

~
Live a good life.
If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by.
If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them.
If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
—Marcus Aurelius
~
Live a good life.
If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by.
If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them.
If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
—Marcus Aurelius
~
Emma Hale
He brought the storms and dust a temperment
and had an air of eloquence, and underneath,
well who could say? Slept beneath the stars
at night, the moon so bright, the vision white;
all who knew him swooned or swayed
or ran away.
Restoration to the earlier ways of the Lord,
restorations to the teeming hordes
no one in that dustbowl managed to move on,
without a trace of Joseph upon them.
No one who left did come again;
they'd left in sin.
Now some say mason blood did fill those gritty
veins of Chapel Hill. An' people they still search
for holy things. In shafts of light,
warm summer nights... Sealings before the
nose of Light. Burying her first child, Emma Hale
gave her life over to His goodness and failed.
Oh oh oh, poor, oh poor, poor Emma Hale.
He brought the storms and dust a temperment
and had an air of eloquence, and underneath,
well who could say? Slept beneath the stars
at night, the moon so bright, the vision white;
all who knew him swooned or swayed
or ran away.
Restoration to the earlier ways of the Lord,
restorations to the teeming hordes
no one in that dustbowl managed to move on,
without a trace of Joseph upon them.
No one who left did come again;
they'd left in sin.
Now some say mason blood did fill those gritty
veins of Chapel Hill. An' people they still search
for holy things. In shafts of light,
warm summer nights... Sealings before the
nose of Light. Burying her first child, Emma Hale
gave her life over to His goodness and failed.
Oh oh oh, poor, oh poor, poor Emma Hale.
Wednesday, August 1
They're "special" all right
Have-a-go policemen.
The police keep the people they are trying to protect in a constant state of nervous fear, at least if you're male and semi-young. The bottom-rung "beat" guys always seem to come from the Dudley Dursley stock, complete with large, spherical heads (pure skull thickness accounting for at least half the diameter, I'd guess), an over-obvious need to prove their manhood, and just plain lack of good manners. Now, now, I'm sure there are some really wonderful men and women serving our country who follow each law to the letter, act conscientiously and show good judgment and restraint, and perhaps even have a soul, but if there are I haven't seen any. I suppose they get the desk jobs, or get proper jobs period. We're left to be bullied for the rest of our lives by the same crowd that was sniffing paint and glue in shop class while we were taking trig and advanced English.
I've been wrestled to the ground and forced to remain on hot pavement for at least 15 minutes while my ID was checked and I was patted down, ostensibly because the shop owner believed I was shoplifting something and there happened to be one of these pork-products nearby when he make his secret call. Needless to say he found nothing on me, but a lot of customers got a good look at an innocent person being manhandled, very lovely. Then as he stood up and spoke into his magic-phone (I'm sure that's what they're told they are), any reasonable questions I had such as, "may I get up now?" "Can I have my ID back?" "Am I free to leave or are you gonna charge me with something?" or "Were your parents both men?" were summarily answered by the always clever "shut the fuck up." Good thing he didn't find the 60" widescreen television in my back pocket. And did I get an apology when I finally was let go? Of course not, just a mumbled, "have a nice day sir" with no eye contact as he seemed to struggle with the complicated workings of his ball point pen. He got more than a "nice day" from me, though, as I hurled his way every insult that occurred to me for a minute or two, then gave him the Double Deuce for good measure before proceeding to my car.
This happened not all that long ago actually, and I had a run-in with the police last year as well where I was treated with actual violence where none was needed, though it was nothing I could prove because it happened at night with no pesky witnesses around to see. It seems that as my beard and hair grow out, I've shifted into a different category for these types—homeless and/or violent characters who obviously steal and commit petty crimes or sell drugs and advertise it loudly by dressing the part. Funny, I don't remember having any problems with the police whatsoever when I was clean-cut and in my 20s, when I actually did tend to have drugs or contraband on me. Ok maybe not contraband. It really makes me feel safe knowing that this sub-human lot of wannabe Bruce Willises is the "interface layer" the law enforcement agencies have with the people they rule over. Excuse me, I meant serve. There was yet another story in the paper yesterday of a policeman in this area beating a guy for "resisting arrest"—only this time someone was on hand to take a bunch of pictures and the dude on the ground was way past the point of being able to resist anything. Being that it was caught on film, it is now being Officially Looked Into and the officer in question is on leave of absence, even though he's apparently had a number of similar complaints filed against him in the past, just not accompanied by juicy photographs. Officers protect their own; I'm sure they'll drag this out as long as they can, hoping people lose interest.
Even if this asshole gets fired to pacify the public, it will mean nothing, because another one genetically identical to him will step out of the factory and replace him on that beat. Hell, a judge and jury and the rest of the world watched a clear videotape running a considerable length of something like six police-thugs standing around kicking and billy-clubbing Rodney King to a mush all those years ago, and THEY were cleared of all charges. W in the F is going on here? It reminds me of one of those blaxsploitation films of the 70s where a woman walks in on her husband and another woman in bed, and the man jumps up and instead of apologizing or making up some pathetic story, goes on the offensive and says, "Who you gonna believe baby, me, or your lyin' eyes?" It would be funny if that weren't pretty much the case of our government versus the people it reigns in terror over. Good thing we're free and have constitutional rights (you get those when you hire an attorney, but not before). Imagine if we were one of those bad-guy countries where the governments, police, and intelligence services actually wiretap, read email, and otherwise spy on their own citizens out of paranoia. Sheesh. Haven't these guys watched "Other People's Lives" yet? Oh wait, it's in German, half of them would need to be able to read to understand it.

Have-a-go policemen.
The police keep the people they are trying to protect in a constant state of nervous fear, at least if you're male and semi-young. The bottom-rung "beat" guys always seem to come from the Dudley Dursley stock, complete with large, spherical heads (pure skull thickness accounting for at least half the diameter, I'd guess), an over-obvious need to prove their manhood, and just plain lack of good manners. Now, now, I'm sure there are some really wonderful men and women serving our country who follow each law to the letter, act conscientiously and show good judgment and restraint, and perhaps even have a soul, but if there are I haven't seen any. I suppose they get the desk jobs, or get proper jobs period. We're left to be bullied for the rest of our lives by the same crowd that was sniffing paint and glue in shop class while we were taking trig and advanced English.
I've been wrestled to the ground and forced to remain on hot pavement for at least 15 minutes while my ID was checked and I was patted down, ostensibly because the shop owner believed I was shoplifting something and there happened to be one of these pork-products nearby when he make his secret call. Needless to say he found nothing on me, but a lot of customers got a good look at an innocent person being manhandled, very lovely. Then as he stood up and spoke into his magic-phone (I'm sure that's what they're told they are), any reasonable questions I had such as, "may I get up now?" "Can I have my ID back?" "Am I free to leave or are you gonna charge me with something?" or "Were your parents both men?" were summarily answered by the always clever "shut the fuck up." Good thing he didn't find the 60" widescreen television in my back pocket. And did I get an apology when I finally was let go? Of course not, just a mumbled, "have a nice day sir" with no eye contact as he seemed to struggle with the complicated workings of his ball point pen. He got more than a "nice day" from me, though, as I hurled his way every insult that occurred to me for a minute or two, then gave him the Double Deuce for good measure before proceeding to my car.
This happened not all that long ago actually, and I had a run-in with the police last year as well where I was treated with actual violence where none was needed, though it was nothing I could prove because it happened at night with no pesky witnesses around to see. It seems that as my beard and hair grow out, I've shifted into a different category for these types—homeless and/or violent characters who obviously steal and commit petty crimes or sell drugs and advertise it loudly by dressing the part. Funny, I don't remember having any problems with the police whatsoever when I was clean-cut and in my 20s, when I actually did tend to have drugs or contraband on me. Ok maybe not contraband. It really makes me feel safe knowing that this sub-human lot of wannabe Bruce Willises is the "interface layer" the law enforcement agencies have with the people they rule over. Excuse me, I meant serve. There was yet another story in the paper yesterday of a policeman in this area beating a guy for "resisting arrest"—only this time someone was on hand to take a bunch of pictures and the dude on the ground was way past the point of being able to resist anything. Being that it was caught on film, it is now being Officially Looked Into and the officer in question is on leave of absence, even though he's apparently had a number of similar complaints filed against him in the past, just not accompanied by juicy photographs. Officers protect their own; I'm sure they'll drag this out as long as they can, hoping people lose interest.
Even if this asshole gets fired to pacify the public, it will mean nothing, because another one genetically identical to him will step out of the factory and replace him on that beat. Hell, a judge and jury and the rest of the world watched a clear videotape running a considerable length of something like six police-thugs standing around kicking and billy-clubbing Rodney King to a mush all those years ago, and THEY were cleared of all charges. W in the F is going on here? It reminds me of one of those blaxsploitation films of the 70s where a woman walks in on her husband and another woman in bed, and the man jumps up and instead of apologizing or making up some pathetic story, goes on the offensive and says, "Who you gonna believe baby, me, or your lyin' eyes?" It would be funny if that weren't pretty much the case of our government versus the people it reigns in terror over. Good thing we're free and have constitutional rights (you get those when you hire an attorney, but not before). Imagine if we were one of those bad-guy countries where the governments, police, and intelligence services actually wiretap, read email, and otherwise spy on their own citizens out of paranoia. Sheesh. Haven't these guys watched "Other People's Lives" yet? Oh wait, it's in German, half of them would need to be able to read to understand it.
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