~
Why do we kill people who are killing people
to show that killing people is wrong?
~
Holly Near
Why do we kill people who are killing people
to show that killing people is wrong?
~
Holly Near
Wednesday, July 11
Preterition
You want to approximate truth and the infinite
You want that perspective again
Of being on a cusp
But the cusp of you know not what
For some it's all hope going in and no trepidation
Come to my house, let me play you songs in the dark
That you may really hear the sound of the world
Selfishly, I will allow
For to keep you here, with me
Would be safety in numbers, and
It's safer here
Than out there in any 'sane' place I know
We could be together in the infinite, alone.
| Which LOTR hobbit are you? Frodo You have beautiful eyes, and a glowing sword. |
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
Tuesday, July 10
"I've Seen It All"
(Björk)
ive seen it all
i have seen the trees
i have seen the willow leaves
dancing in the breeze
ive seen a man killed
by his best friend
and lives that were over
before they were spent
ive seen what i was
and i know what will be
ive seen it all
there is no more to see.
you havent seen elephants
kings or peru...
im happy to say
i have better to do
what about china?
have you seen the great wall?
all walls are great
if the roof doesnt fall
and the man you will marry
the home you will share?
to be honest
I really dont care.
youve never been
to niagara falls...
i have seen water
its water, thats all
the eiffel tower
the empire state?
my pulse was as high
on my very first date
your grandsons hand
as he plays with your hair...
to be honest
I really dont care.
hiding
People who want to grow need to get out of their hidey-holes and face it all. Adopt that hippy mind you once had, open your heart to new things, forget being afraid. What is the worst that can happen - death? Is that so bad? You've thought long and hard about it anyway. Take a chance, get out and move, don't restrict yourself from certain genres of movies, books, cuisine, or anything because something makes you feel uncomfortable. Discomfort is where the truth is. You have to keep straddling that edge of vital but blind exploration and warm, virtuous comfort. You can do both. You can gain knowledge from the edge and make it your own, tame it. Flip on the light switch and see that there's no bogeyman. You need to stop being a child and playing at fairy tales. Stand up, project strength and move your life undaunted. There are no directions on how to do this, you just just do it. Listen to new music, travel, read a new kind of book. Study a period of history and become a semi-expert. Master a craft. Get a certificate in diving or something else you never though you'd do. Why not? And why be scared. You're going to die anyways, remember? But maybe in the interim instead of rocking yourself to sleep in a fright in a dollhouse each night, you can actually enjoy exhilarating "now" moments. It's worth a try, isn't it? Could it be worse that it is now?
People who want to grow need to get out of their hidey-holes and face it all. Adopt that hippy mind you once had, open your heart to new things, forget being afraid. What is the worst that can happen - death? Is that so bad? You've thought long and hard about it anyway. Take a chance, get out and move, don't restrict yourself from certain genres of movies, books, cuisine, or anything because something makes you feel uncomfortable. Discomfort is where the truth is. You have to keep straddling that edge of vital but blind exploration and warm, virtuous comfort. You can do both. You can gain knowledge from the edge and make it your own, tame it. Flip on the light switch and see that there's no bogeyman. You need to stop being a child and playing at fairy tales. Stand up, project strength and move your life undaunted. There are no directions on how to do this, you just just do it. Listen to new music, travel, read a new kind of book. Study a period of history and become a semi-expert. Master a craft. Get a certificate in diving or something else you never though you'd do. Why not? And why be scared. You're going to die anyways, remember? But maybe in the interim instead of rocking yourself to sleep in a fright in a dollhouse each night, you can actually enjoy exhilarating "now" moments. It's worth a try, isn't it? Could it be worse that it is now?
Monday, July 9
Sunday, July 8
WHO WON THE US-UK RIVALRY?
Going down the list in the order they were posted...
Monty Python............................................UK 1
Wine............................................US 1
Strawberries............................................UK 2
Ale.....................................................UK 3
Smartfood.......................................US 2
Bangers.................................................UK 4
iPod............................................US 3
Vacuum cleaners.................................US 4
Washers and dryers [OVERRULED](1)...EVEN
Sports cars.............................................UK 5
Railways................................................UK 6
Fluency in English......................................UK 7
Mexican food....................................US 5
Indian food.............................................UK 8
Boston Tea Party................................US 6
Poetry(2)...........................NULLED
Toughest streets................................US 7
Sports(3)...........................EVEN
No useless, fox-hunting monarchy................US 8
Healthcare service..............................US 9
Healthcare coverage.....................................UK 9
Fantasy authors.........................................UK 10
Motorcycles.............................................UK 11
Aviation........................................US 10
No George Bush..........................................UK 12
Landscape...........................EVEN
Surfing.........................................US 11
No great whites(4)......................................UK 13
Documentaries...........................................UK 14
Creative cursing........................................UK 15
Less Bullying...................................US 12
Superheroes and comic books.....................US 13
Live theatre............................................UK 16
Movies..............................EVEN
"Actor's" actors........................................UK 17
NASA............................................US 14
Universities........................EVEN
Reality TV..........................EVEN
Auto racing.............................................UK 18
Bakeries................................................UK 19
Courage/goodwill of ord. people.....EVEN
Chippies and Kebabs.....................................UK 20
Skiing and snowboarding.........................US 15
Rock & Roll.............................................UK 21
Standup comedians...............................US 16
Comedy sketch shows(5)..............NULLED
Sitcoms.........................................US 17
Reggae..................................................UK 22
Blues, Soul, R&B................................US 18
Rap.............................................US 19
Techno, house, rave, anyth. w/lights and "E"............UK 23
Jazz............................................US 20
Alternative (goth, indie, whatever).....................UK 24
Shops stay open late............................US 21
Walmart vs Tesco's......................................UK 25
Outdoor recreation..............................US 22
Regional accents (subjective I know)....................UK 26
Olympic medals, athletics in general............US 23
Ease of upward mobility.........................US 24
Hub of world finance............................US 25
Charles Babbage (genius)................................UK 27
John von Neumann (genius)(6)....................US 26
Brits' debt to US since WW2(7)......NULLED
Political Parties [OVERRULED](8)....EVEN
UFO/Paranormal gullibility(9).......EVEN
Lots of big animals (as a good thing)...........US 27
Lack of dangerous animals (like biting insects).........UK 28
Food, quality and variety.......................US 28
Long, interesting history...............................UK 29
Children's stories [OVERRULED](10)..EVEN
Best City(ies)(11)..............................US 29
Avocados, blueberries, wild salmon..............US 30
Large animals(12)...................NULLED
Natural resources...............................US 31
Quaintness(13)..................................UK 30
Var. of habitats, spaciousness, Natl Parks(14)..US 32
Tea with milk, everyone forgot this.....................UK 31
Closer to France, Spain for holidays....................UK 32
Weather, everyone forgot this one too...........US 33
Manners.................................................UK 33
(Meta almost loses the plot completely with long, bizarre, latter-day Philip K Dick-like post...goes from cockney attempt to swords to string theory to Dungeons & Dragons to biotechnology to YouTube to the White House back down to quantum units of space and time and of course ends it all with the Spanish Inquisition and Tom Jones. Let me see what time this was posted... Yep, I was up past my bedtime and the zookeeper wasn't around to keep me from banging on the typewriter... (No point to my ramblings, so no point awarded. Just a hello to Rex I guess.... 8-| Hope he comes back, heh.))
TOTALS
US 33
UK 33
US 33
UK 33
Good Lord, a tie!
I guess both of our countries have a lot of great things going for them. Let's remember that every time we get ready to go a rant about one or the other. I find myself detesting America sometimes, but when I look at it logically, it IS one of the nicer places to live in the world (just stay away from the Fundies in the Bible Belt and the inbred cavemen in the wilds of Virginia and you'll be ok). The UK seems like a great place as well!
The main objective was fun, of course, so thanks again to have everyone who participated. I didn't mean for it to be a tie deliberately, I thought the UK was leading by 1 when I added my last few (3 for UK, 1 for US). I fully expected the Brits to win, but after recounting and seeing I had made and egregious counting error early on with the US side (going from 6 back to 4 again, then 5...oops), I ended up RE-counting the entire thing again twice to make sure I got the right figures. And they both came out the same!
FOOTNOTES
(1) I've done some research and decided that appliances like washing machines are basically equal in both countries. The "good" kind are available at similar prices, so are the bad ones.
(2) I had Plath vs Hughes but of course there are lots of other great poets on both sides. Too hard to choose. And don't come at me with Milton and Shakespeare, I'm talking modern poetry: Dylan Thomas, ee cummings, Betjeman, Frost, Ginsberg, Plath, Sexton, Hughes, EA Robinson, etc.
(3) Protest duly noted and rejected, REX.
(4) Except the ones sunbathing.
(5) UK, but already awarded to Python at top, so no extra point.
(6) Born in Hungary but became US citizen and helped work on the Bomb, early digital computers. The link between Babbage and the computer age proper, along with Alan Turing.
(7) I just saw a show about this too, Britain still paying off a US loan from WW2. I won't award a point for that. It may me business but on the metaplane we condone forgiveness and forgetfulness. What else was I gonna say? Oh well.
(8) I'm neither a Republican nor Democrat and have been to or seen PLENTY of demonstrations/rallies for minority platforms (Green, Libertarian, Communism, Naderism), all without bobbies/truncheons/tear gas having to be deployed. No point to either side, both countries' political systems function equally well or equally badly, however you want to look at it. Churchill: "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others that have been tried."
(9) Oh man, I've watched so many bad documentaries and "exposés" of the nuttiest things on BOTH sides of the atlantic that I can't can't honor either side here a point for good journalism.
(10) Empath wanted to give a point to Snoopy and Mickey mouse over British children's characters. I overrule this one. Snoopy I'll accept. But I think Disney is pernicious and obnoxious and they make crap films these days that don't teach kids anything but to be rude. When Walt was alive and they actually INNOVATED, then of course. But now, no. Pooh, Paddington Bear, Beatrix Potter, Peter Pan... more gentle and literate enrichment for kids' imagination. Disney may rule the world in marketing, that doesn't mean it's quality stuff anymore though. The reason it's a tie and not a UK point is because we can still rent all the old Disney classics and watch them (Fantasia, anyone?).
(11) Empath declared NYC to be superior to London. I'm not so sure of that; it's her opinion of course but I don't know that a majority would agree. Let's look at it this way though: even if you polled a lot of people and found a 50/50 split between the two cities, just use the TWO top cities in each country to determine the tiebreaker. If we take say, NYC and San Francisco against London and Birmingham (you can substitute Leeds, Bristol, Manchester, etc. for the second city), then there's really no question. SF is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and NY is the financial capitol, and culture-wise right there with Paris and London. So I think Empath is right and US get a point. Now if someone would have mentioned "awful cities, the US is full of those, too - LA, Philly, Detroit, Miami... but no one did.
(12) Nulled because we already discussed animals in Rex's post.
(13) We dealt with landscapes but this is a bit different, more the feeling you get (comforting). Point to UK allowed.
(14) Like the above, this is a narrowing down of the "landscape" part and is different enough I'll allow it. The points for landscape/quaintness/variety all even out anyway.
Thursday, July 5
FAST (*belch*) FOOD
Best tasting fast food joints. Not all of these may be in your area, I'm just going by what is in my town. I'm also excluding sub-sandwich places because that's sort of a different beast. Anyways, my favorite to least favorite of the chains (though they're all crap for you nutritionally), are:
Best tasting fast food joints. Not all of these may be in your area, I'm just going by what is in my town. I'm also excluding sub-sandwich places because that's sort of a different beast. Anyways, my favorite to least favorite of the chains (though they're all crap for you nutritionally), are:
- Wendy's
- In-N-Out
- KFC / Popeye's
- Jack in the Box
- Arby's
- Carl's Jr.
- Taco Bell
- Burger King
- McDonald's
Monday, July 2
Ababa John I
(Don Carlos)
Ababa John I, we love you
Whoa oh, oh oh
Father Majestic, we love you
Whoa oh, oh oh
We a go chant Nyabinghi around Jah throne
Whoa oh, oh oh
We a go chant Nyabinghi around Jah throne
Whoa oh, oh oh
Ababa John I, we love you
Whoa oh, oh oh
Father Majestic, we love you
Whoa oh, oh oh
We a go chant Nyabinghi around Jah throne.
Sunday, July 1
Brits vs Yanks
Now before anyone starts shooting flames back and forth here, let me add a little preamble. First of all, this is purely in fun. I'm American born and raised, and I love my country, even when I don't like who's running/ruining it. It's a big, beautiful country, with monumental natural resources and wildlife. I also love the UK, having grown up watching almost exclusively British programmes on the telly in my later years, if you get my drift - Red Dwarf, Dr Who, Fawlty Towers, Blackadder, the Granada-produced Sherlock Holmes series with Jeremy Brett, and on and on. And of course one need not even mention (though I'm just about to) Monty Python, of which I own every scrap of material and know chapter and verse. "The Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things." Say no more. Also, the Beeb makes documentaries par excellence, and a well done multi-part series hosted by Sir David Attenborough is better than sex to me. And no quips about my sex life! It's doing just...well, it's perfectly... um... well, you know what I'm trying to say. You get the picture. I love England and almost feel I'm a part of the culture. I watch the BBC news at night, a few comedies shows or soaps here and there, every documentary I can get my hands on, and yes I can sit and watch an entire football match and understand what is happening. I rooted for England after the USA got dumped in the last Cup, and I sat through the entire "History of Football" documentary series. THAT'S an Anglophile for you. Not to mention nearly all my favorite bands and writers and poets are British. But I love things about America too... Baseball - Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth, etc. Basketball - Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, et al. San Francisco...
Anyway with that preamble to show that I am not biased toward my home country, I propose a very simple game. It consists in you making a point, whether it's over something big or little doesn't matter, where one culture is clearly superior to the other. The winning country gets a point. We'll keep a running total. FOR EXAMPLE, if I were to say British pints are a tad larger that American pints, that would be a point to Britain. On the other hand, if someone were to point out the ingredients of haggis and compare them to say, a New Orleans gumbo, the point would definitely go to the USA. Get it? OK, Here we go. I'll take the first two.
-Monty Python is funnier than anything that's ever come out of the USA. Britain, 1-0 (that's pronounced 'nil' btw).
-Californian wines are unequaled anywhere in the world except in France. British wines: No. Point to USA, evened up at 1-1.
Now your turn... Feel free to post as often as you'd like and boost the score yourself. Like I said, it's all in fun and maybe we'll learn someone about one another.
And I want to see this one break the 20 post barrier for once, dammit!!
Thursday, June 28
The Death of a Disco Dancer.
(morrissey)
The death of a disco dancer
Well, it happens a lot round here
And if you think peace is a common goal
That goes to show how little you know
The death of a disco dancer
Well, I'd rather not get involved
I never talk to my neighbour
I'd rather not get involved
Love, peace and harmony
Love, peace and harmony
Oh, very nice
Very nice
Very nice
Very nice
...But maybe in the next world.
(morrissey)
The death of a disco dancer
Well, it happens a lot round here
And if you think peace is a common goal
That goes to show how little you know
The death of a disco dancer
Well, I'd rather not get involved
I never talk to my neighbour
I'd rather not get involved
Love, peace and harmony
Love, peace and harmony
Oh, very nice
Very nice
Very nice
Very nice
...But maybe in the next world.
Sweetness follows.
(m. stipe)
Readying to bury your father and your mother,
What did you think when you lost another?
I used to wonder why did you bother,
Distanced from one, blind to the other?
Listen here, my sister and my brother
What would you care if you lost the other?
I always wonder why did we bother,
Distanced from one, deaf to the other
Oh, oh, but sweetness follows.
It's these little things, they can pull you under
Live your life filled with joy and wonder
I always knew this altogether sundered
Lost in our little lives
It's these little things, they can pull you under
Live your life filled with joy and thunder
Yeah, yeah, we were altogether
Lost in our little lives
Oh, oh, but sweetness follows.
(m. stipe)
Readying to bury your father and your mother,
What did you think when you lost another?
I used to wonder why did you bother,
Distanced from one, blind to the other?
Listen here, my sister and my brother
What would you care if you lost the other?
I always wonder why did we bother,
Distanced from one, deaf to the other
Oh, oh, but sweetness follows.
It's these little things, they can pull you under
Live your life filled with joy and wonder
I always knew this altogether sundered
Lost in our little lives
It's these little things, they can pull you under
Live your life filled with joy and thunder
Yeah, yeah, we were altogether
Lost in our little lives
Oh, oh, but sweetness follows.
Tuesday, June 26
Monday, June 25
FINNISH FOTOGRAPHY
Wow, this person is a really good photographer. Also, galleries of IR photography and sketches.
Antti Kemppainen gallery
If you go to the root of that page you'll find his index page which also has 3D computer sculptures, news, contact info and more. But I thought I'd deposit you right in the photo gallery with that link, since it's more impressive.
I especially love IR photography!
Wow, this person is a really good photographer. Also, galleries of IR photography and sketches.
Antti Kemppainen gallery
If you go to the root of that page you'll find his index page which also has 3D computer sculptures, news, contact info and more. But I thought I'd deposit you right in the photo gallery with that link, since it's more impressive.
I especially love IR photography!
Sunday, June 24
Check ya.
I bust lyrical
My main aim being satirical
Laugh and spit denseness
That sounds like Alpha Bits cereal
Jumbled and senseless
And at first you can't grasp
Then it hits you like Jujitsu
And a part of you gasps
As the meaning unfolds
It nearly pulls you in half
That's the intro,
I ain't even launched my attack
See, you started clever
Using an internal rhyme, whatever;
My timing's so fine that all my metaphors shine
Forever
I never sought this throne, yo
It was handed to me
By unanimous vote of the greatest MCs
No joke
No theory, no fear, just empirical slams
And yes, controlling all mics was my master plan
While your moms gets hysterical
Maybe she needs to switch "brands"
I proceed to unleash powers only Tesla would understand
You just a yes-man, a kiss-ass
So my skills stay at half-mast
You don't rate nothin' better
Cause your shit's at best half-assed
I heard you whining, dude
You can't put two rhymes together
And your homies, your "dogs," and yes
Even your sister
Said you was weak and pathetic
Since the day you was delivered
I'm on point like slivers
Don't take kindly to threats
I'm like that nightmare that caused you
To pee in your sweats
Now you turn energy to entropy, crying
Trying to forget
But I ain't buying
I'm blowing your house down with the biggest of breaths
The big badass wolf of the microphone set
You see ghosts in your sleep and feel the sheets is all wet
Time for Depends, bro, I'm serious
You can't take it like a man
I knew you and your whole crew just didn't understand
What it is I do
And that's to flow like the Nile
You tried that shit once and got ate by crocodiles
I ain't playin. If you're down, my money's layin'
All on my side,
Cause people know your shit's lame and deflated
Once I blow you up, you goin' be like stars when they grow up
And throw up
Most of their matter before they go up
In flames, and whither into little tiny balls
Like your last girlfriend told me
Was all you had in them drawers
Forget the head
Head honcho is what I am here
You disappear like a deer that hides cowering in fear
I'm the greatest
Rickey Henderson said that in his prime
Ricki Lake, Oprah Winfrey - that's more on your line
Don't waste my time
Little man, see I'm just toying with you
Like a cat freaks a mouse out before the Kung Fu
You little sucker you
Think you can blow wind in my sails
I'll come broadside your dingy and then blow it to nails
I always prevail
Your best stuff is ugly and stale
You need a course in basic grammar and a few less tall tales
We could even battle in Hebrew,
Or Russian, I'd take those ones too
You busy writing down shit, cursing
Searching Google for clues
It's like a zoo, where you be the monkey inside
Making faces and screaming but still trapped all the while
While I peep the reptiles then go hop in my ride
You're picking fleas; I'm kicking back breezing in style
Cause first of all, you lack basic discipline
Maybe the Army or something would teach you to win
Nah, you'd just wash out
Cry to yo' moms and get tossed out
On the street without a beat or any means to get flossed out
I've crossed out
All the battles we'd talked about
My calendar's full with bigger fish to fry
And worthless wordsmiths like you got no need to apply
See you round bro, maybe I'll throw a penny your way
When I see you rock the sidewalk like some cat from VA
Check ya later.
I bust lyrical
My main aim being satirical
Laugh and spit denseness
That sounds like Alpha Bits cereal
Jumbled and senseless
And at first you can't grasp
Then it hits you like Jujitsu
And a part of you gasps
As the meaning unfolds
It nearly pulls you in half
That's the intro,
I ain't even launched my attack
See, you started clever
Using an internal rhyme, whatever;
My timing's so fine that all my metaphors shine
Forever
I never sought this throne, yo
It was handed to me
By unanimous vote of the greatest MCs
No joke
No theory, no fear, just empirical slams
And yes, controlling all mics was my master plan
While your moms gets hysterical
Maybe she needs to switch "brands"
I proceed to unleash powers only Tesla would understand
You just a yes-man, a kiss-ass
So my skills stay at half-mast
You don't rate nothin' better
Cause your shit's at best half-assed
I heard you whining, dude
You can't put two rhymes together
And your homies, your "dogs," and yes
Even your sister
Said you was weak and pathetic
Since the day you was delivered
I'm on point like slivers
Don't take kindly to threats
I'm like that nightmare that caused you
To pee in your sweats
Now you turn energy to entropy, crying
Trying to forget
But I ain't buying
I'm blowing your house down with the biggest of breaths
The big badass wolf of the microphone set
You see ghosts in your sleep and feel the sheets is all wet
Time for Depends, bro, I'm serious
You can't take it like a man
I knew you and your whole crew just didn't understand
What it is I do
And that's to flow like the Nile
You tried that shit once and got ate by crocodiles
I ain't playin. If you're down, my money's layin'
All on my side,
Cause people know your shit's lame and deflated
Once I blow you up, you goin' be like stars when they grow up
And throw up
Most of their matter before they go up
In flames, and whither into little tiny balls
Like your last girlfriend told me
Was all you had in them drawers
Forget the head
Head honcho is what I am here
You disappear like a deer that hides cowering in fear
I'm the greatest
Rickey Henderson said that in his prime
Ricki Lake, Oprah Winfrey - that's more on your line
Don't waste my time
Little man, see I'm just toying with you
Like a cat freaks a mouse out before the Kung Fu
You little sucker you
Think you can blow wind in my sails
I'll come broadside your dingy and then blow it to nails
I always prevail
Your best stuff is ugly and stale
You need a course in basic grammar and a few less tall tales
We could even battle in Hebrew,
Or Russian, I'd take those ones too
You busy writing down shit, cursing
Searching Google for clues
It's like a zoo, where you be the monkey inside
Making faces and screaming but still trapped all the while
While I peep the reptiles then go hop in my ride
You're picking fleas; I'm kicking back breezing in style
Cause first of all, you lack basic discipline
Maybe the Army or something would teach you to win
Nah, you'd just wash out
Cry to yo' moms and get tossed out
On the street without a beat or any means to get flossed out
I've crossed out
All the battles we'd talked about
My calendar's full with bigger fish to fry
And worthless wordsmiths like you got no need to apply
See you round bro, maybe I'll throw a penny your way
When I see you rock the sidewalk like some cat from VA
Check ya later.
Preliminary bets for "Animal Wars"
As I explained some time ago, I have been planning a tournament of sorts for animals all over the world, currently living though some are dangerous close to kicking the bucket. Before we get started with Round One and I show you the brackets, please weigh in on which animal you think will ultimately win. Choose runners up if you wish. This is a totally free-form forum for people to express their gut instincts about which animals are the toppermost of the poppermost, and such speculation is fun and will not be "held against you in any way." So which animals do you think will win their final four regional bracket, advance to the finals, and ultimately prevail?
Ground rules are coming soon so you can see exactly how fights between geographically and even elementally different organisms can be arbitrated. Basically, each animals is considered to do battle within in its own home territory and environment, where it is strongest, whether this makes strict sense or not. Also, and quite importantly, animals are not scaled to provide a good match for its opponent. A fish of some sort may have the largest bite strength to body weight ratio in the animal kingdom, but that won't matter much if it's swallowed whole by a white pointer. So this is not quite a Pokemon fantasy, this is forced reality, a slight difference that allows real animals on Planet Earth to fight one another for that elusive golden crown.
Make your remarks, ask your questions, and soon we will list, define, and possibly even show you every creature selected to fill out the 64 slots. Than following shortly shortly aferwards will be Round One, the biggest bloodbath of them all in absolute turns, as the field abruptly drops from 64 to 32. Don't miss it!!! If you do I will find you!
If someone happens to list the correct overall winner in THIS post before the first battle begins, I will send that person something special and personalized. So put on your thinking caps and get to work!
As I explained some time ago, I have been planning a tournament of sorts for animals all over the world, currently living though some are dangerous close to kicking the bucket. Before we get started with Round One and I show you the brackets, please weigh in on which animal you think will ultimately win. Choose runners up if you wish. This is a totally free-form forum for people to express their gut instincts about which animals are the toppermost of the poppermost, and such speculation is fun and will not be "held against you in any way." So which animals do you think will win their final four regional bracket, advance to the finals, and ultimately prevail?
Ground rules are coming soon so you can see exactly how fights between geographically and even elementally different organisms can be arbitrated. Basically, each animals is considered to do battle within in its own home territory and environment, where it is strongest, whether this makes strict sense or not. Also, and quite importantly, animals are not scaled to provide a good match for its opponent. A fish of some sort may have the largest bite strength to body weight ratio in the animal kingdom, but that won't matter much if it's swallowed whole by a white pointer. So this is not quite a Pokemon fantasy, this is forced reality, a slight difference that allows real animals on Planet Earth to fight one another for that elusive golden crown.
Make your remarks, ask your questions, and soon we will list, define, and possibly even show you every creature selected to fill out the 64 slots. Than following shortly shortly aferwards will be Round One, the biggest bloodbath of them all in absolute turns, as the field abruptly drops from 64 to 32. Don't miss it!!! If you do I will find you!
If someone happens to list the correct overall winner in THIS post before the first battle begins, I will send that person something special and personalized. So put on your thinking caps and get to work!
Endless creativity.
There is an essentially endless number of paintings, poems, stories, installations, sculptures, music, novels, photographs, lithographs, dances, and sketches that can be created. Themes may repeat but never entire works precisely, never in each chosen detail, never expounding the same point exactly. It may be a matter of nuances but art is built from nuances. When artists claim a 'block' it is not because the opportunities inherent in the Universe have run dry, but because his or her own connection to the act of creation has been severed or minimalized in the face of depression, boredom, sudden new interests or what have you. Maybe it seems you've expressed so much about your interests that little more seemingly need be said. But zoomed in like a microscope's view of pond water, details jump into focus that were not foreseen. Likewise a poem written even in doldrums, felt to be not much differentiated from previous efforts, will in time show an entirely different composition and pedigree, offering lines, rhymes, or imagery unique to itself.
Creating is always worthwhile. Nothing can ever be perfect, and much will not satisfy the artist, and the audience will not always value the same works as the artist but rather inexplicably latch onto something considered minor or inferior and ignore the presumed show-stoppers. This is why all art is important. There is always someone who will appreciate every decently-constructed piece, and a message transmitted and received completes, though changed through colorized and polarized filters from one brain to the next due to language, upbringing, phobias and phllias, experience, ideals.
But those of us who must create, we know that writer's block is a tiredness or grief on the part of the artist and not truly a block. I could write a whole screenful of jokes, but I don't feel particularly in a joking mood, so I won't. I will document my mood and thoughts, my reflections and speculations, and someone somewhere will connect. It's inevitable in such a large sample size as the connected earth. As long as someone is touched in some way I feel gratified and worthy of my efforts. I could not live as a hermit. As much as I like my privacy and solitude, I must have an outlet to connect to people, to exchange ideas and opinions. Else all I do proceeds in vain.
Might as well leave a carved rock to the Ancient Old Ones pleading to remain sane and uneaten. I don't want their attention, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't look forward to the impact and reaction my writings or pictures will have upon my few friends and relatives who are in the least bit susceptible to such things. An audience is seductive. I want one.
There is an essentially endless number of paintings, poems, stories, installations, sculptures, music, novels, photographs, lithographs, dances, and sketches that can be created. Themes may repeat but never entire works precisely, never in each chosen detail, never expounding the same point exactly. It may be a matter of nuances but art is built from nuances. When artists claim a 'block' it is not because the opportunities inherent in the Universe have run dry, but because his or her own connection to the act of creation has been severed or minimalized in the face of depression, boredom, sudden new interests or what have you. Maybe it seems you've expressed so much about your interests that little more seemingly need be said. But zoomed in like a microscope's view of pond water, details jump into focus that were not foreseen. Likewise a poem written even in doldrums, felt to be not much differentiated from previous efforts, will in time show an entirely different composition and pedigree, offering lines, rhymes, or imagery unique to itself.
Creating is always worthwhile. Nothing can ever be perfect, and much will not satisfy the artist, and the audience will not always value the same works as the artist but rather inexplicably latch onto something considered minor or inferior and ignore the presumed show-stoppers. This is why all art is important. There is always someone who will appreciate every decently-constructed piece, and a message transmitted and received completes, though changed through colorized and polarized filters from one brain to the next due to language, upbringing, phobias and phllias, experience, ideals.
But those of us who must create, we know that writer's block is a tiredness or grief on the part of the artist and not truly a block. I could write a whole screenful of jokes, but I don't feel particularly in a joking mood, so I won't. I will document my mood and thoughts, my reflections and speculations, and someone somewhere will connect. It's inevitable in such a large sample size as the connected earth. As long as someone is touched in some way I feel gratified and worthy of my efforts. I could not live as a hermit. As much as I like my privacy and solitude, I must have an outlet to connect to people, to exchange ideas and opinions. Else all I do proceeds in vain.
Might as well leave a carved rock to the Ancient Old Ones pleading to remain sane and uneaten. I don't want their attention, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't look forward to the impact and reaction my writings or pictures will have upon my few friends and relatives who are in the least bit susceptible to such things. An audience is seductive. I want one.
Quick questions.
To those who read Narn Î Hîn Húrin (The recently-released Children of Húrin), I want to know some of your opinions.
1. What was your previous record with Tolkien works? Had you read the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings only? Or even neither of these? Had you read the Silmarillion or other books tangentially related to it?
2. Did you enjoy this book and think it was a masterpiece, a bloody good yarn, a so-so tale derivative of other mythologies, or a completely unintelligible waste of time?
3. Did you sympathize with the character of Túrin? Or end up loathing him because of his stubbornness and headstrong heroism?
4. Did this novel spark your interest in further First-Age tales, such as Túrin's cousin Tuor's coming into the hidden city of Gondolin and its subsequent fall. Would you read these tales if they appeared in the same narrative style as Húrin?
5. Did this book enhance your opinion of JRR Tolkien or tarnish it?
6. What, in your opinion, was the "point" of the tale, insofar as Tolkien imbues his tales with morals, which he tried hard not to do, at least not overtly. But the themes are common and strong. Who won? Who lost? What lessons were learned and which were ignored? Was this a tragedy or a triumph of a story?
7. Did you feel the author fleshed out the characters of Beleg Strongbow, Mîm the petty-dwarf, Thingol and Melian, Mablung, Glaurung, Orodreth, Haleth, Húrin, Nessa, the bandits, the messengers of Ulmo, Morwen, Nienor, Finduilas and Gwindor enough for the purposes of the story; i.e. made them believable as real people or creatures, and not just as stereotypes?
8. What did you think of the ending? Be as general or specific as you want.
9. Could a successful movie be made from this book?
10. Lastly, if this was your first experience with First-Age Tolkien tales, and previously you had only read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, what effect did this have on you and how will it color/diminish/enhance subsequent readings of the former books? Will it cause you to try to take on the Silmarillion and other ancient (both in fictitious and real time) texts that Tolkien laid down in his youth that ultimately led to the Third-Age tales of The Hobbit and The Lord of Rings? Is it too Biblical/archaic/confusing/grandiose for you or does it pique your curiosity to read more of these ancient tales? Do you think you will read or listen to the Silmarillion (to completion) any time soon because of having read this book?
Thanks for your answers in advance! Can't wait to see how people answer this one.
To those who read Narn Î Hîn Húrin (The recently-released Children of Húrin), I want to know some of your opinions.
1. What was your previous record with Tolkien works? Had you read the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings only? Or even neither of these? Had you read the Silmarillion or other books tangentially related to it?
2. Did you enjoy this book and think it was a masterpiece, a bloody good yarn, a so-so tale derivative of other mythologies, or a completely unintelligible waste of time?
3. Did you sympathize with the character of Túrin? Or end up loathing him because of his stubbornness and headstrong heroism?
4. Did this novel spark your interest in further First-Age tales, such as Túrin's cousin Tuor's coming into the hidden city of Gondolin and its subsequent fall. Would you read these tales if they appeared in the same narrative style as Húrin?
5. Did this book enhance your opinion of JRR Tolkien or tarnish it?
6. What, in your opinion, was the "point" of the tale, insofar as Tolkien imbues his tales with morals, which he tried hard not to do, at least not overtly. But the themes are common and strong. Who won? Who lost? What lessons were learned and which were ignored? Was this a tragedy or a triumph of a story?
7. Did you feel the author fleshed out the characters of Beleg Strongbow, Mîm the petty-dwarf, Thingol and Melian, Mablung, Glaurung, Orodreth, Haleth, Húrin, Nessa, the bandits, the messengers of Ulmo, Morwen, Nienor, Finduilas and Gwindor enough for the purposes of the story; i.e. made them believable as real people or creatures, and not just as stereotypes?
8. What did you think of the ending? Be as general or specific as you want.
9. Could a successful movie be made from this book?
10. Lastly, if this was your first experience with First-Age Tolkien tales, and previously you had only read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, what effect did this have on you and how will it color/diminish/enhance subsequent readings of the former books? Will it cause you to try to take on the Silmarillion and other ancient (both in fictitious and real time) texts that Tolkien laid down in his youth that ultimately led to the Third-Age tales of The Hobbit and The Lord of Rings? Is it too Biblical/archaic/confusing/grandiose for you or does it pique your curiosity to read more of these ancient tales? Do you think you will read or listen to the Silmarillion (to completion) any time soon because of having read this book?
Thanks for your answers in advance! Can't wait to see how people answer this one.
Saturday, June 23
Menelik, bearer.
I'm just two pills away from losing my hold
Just a refill away from my world starting to slide
I feel ok and good inside, if a little empty
A preemptive strike every morning keeps me moving
On the great treadmill highway
Where scenery before us only changes electronically
I want to make something better of myself eventually
But I can't escape the thought that these two pills
Brick red capsules of salvation or doom
Developed in my lifetime, no less
Are to be my lifeline I guess
It's do or die time, and yet
Who am I?
But we put up or shut up, and the same feelings and
Weather and social situation and work conditions and the
Same monetary ramifications hold, and spin round
And come back to you on the great wheel every
Month or year or day or minute.
You decide that your heart is or isn't in it.
If I forget my pills or my routine gets too sloppy
My world turns upside down, and it is
Dangerous for me and others in the few days it takes
To make things right again
And sometimes I can keep it together longer
And I almost forget what it is like to really suffer
Almost.
I'm just two pills away from losing my hold
Just a refill away from my world starting to slide
I feel ok and good inside, if a little empty
A preemptive strike every morning keeps me moving
On the great treadmill highway
Where scenery before us only changes electronically
I want to make something better of myself eventually
But I can't escape the thought that these two pills
Brick red capsules of salvation or doom
Developed in my lifetime, no less
Are to be my lifeline I guess
It's do or die time, and yet
Who am I?
But we put up or shut up, and the same feelings and
Weather and social situation and work conditions and the
Same monetary ramifications hold, and spin round
And come back to you on the great wheel every
Month or year or day or minute.
You decide that your heart is or isn't in it.
If I forget my pills or my routine gets too sloppy
My world turns upside down, and it is
Dangerous for me and others in the few days it takes
To make things right again
And sometimes I can keep it together longer
And I almost forget what it is like to really suffer
Almost.
Darkness.
I look like a wraith,
feel like the water
the baby got dumped out with.
In my time here,
nothing changes
Some planets, say, haven't even
completed one orbit
the stars don't move noticeably in our
lifetimes,
I am all hair and broken bones
Left hands and sticks and stones
Poison glands on pretty toads.
I look like a demon,
risen from some pit of sleep
you shouldn't ask things.
Leave them for the courageous
the stupid
the rennaissance men
the Errol Flynns
Some people, now, haven't even
grown into their skin
and they never will
they never did.
I could say hope is one the horizon
the horizon, that Xanadu
which can never be reached
Don't speak to me about darkness.
I look like a wraith,
feel like the water
the baby got dumped out with.
In my time here,
nothing changes
Some planets, say, haven't even
completed one orbit
the stars don't move noticeably in our
lifetimes,
I am all hair and broken bones
Left hands and sticks and stones
Poison glands on pretty toads.
I look like a demon,
risen from some pit of sleep
you shouldn't ask things.
Leave them for the courageous
the stupid
the rennaissance men
the Errol Flynns
Some people, now, haven't even
grown into their skin
and they never will
they never did.
I could say hope is one the horizon
the horizon, that Xanadu
which can never be reached
Don't speak to me about darkness.
The Amazing "F" Word
FUCK is a lot of things. It's extremely cold, hot, humid, dry, tall, short, hard, soft, and other other adjective you can think of. It's amazing one word can simultaneous be all these things. But fuck is a real chameleon. First it's "cold as fuck out here," then when you get inside the dark abandoned mansion.... "daaamn, this place is creepy as fuuuck." You can be scared as fuck, serious as fuck, fast as fuck, slow as fuck, and sexy as fuck (which starts to cast the already stretched and stressed "F" word into multiple layers of meaning). I know the whole George Carlin spiel about "fuck" being the only word in existence that can be any part of speech - noun, verb, adjective, adverb, exclamation, imperative, and so on. But I just wanted to point out it's additional versatility to those lazy enough or harried enough not to think of a more specific and telling way of implying a situation is extreme. For every "this evening is as cold as though all the warmth of light and living things had uprooted from its bitter soil and gone to the other side of the world," you're gonna hear about 1,000 "Jesus, it's cold as fuck tonight." Sorry, sophisticates, that's just the way it is. Good thing we have at least ONE all-purpose word! Although, like a drug, it tempts you to be lazy, take the easy way out, and avail yourself of its survices rather than put the brainpower into coming up with something more creative. Oh well, I still think it's funny when used right. Some things never really get old.
FUCK is a lot of things. It's extremely cold, hot, humid, dry, tall, short, hard, soft, and other other adjective you can think of. It's amazing one word can simultaneous be all these things. But fuck is a real chameleon. First it's "cold as fuck out here," then when you get inside the dark abandoned mansion.... "daaamn, this place is creepy as fuuuck." You can be scared as fuck, serious as fuck, fast as fuck, slow as fuck, and sexy as fuck (which starts to cast the already stretched and stressed "F" word into multiple layers of meaning). I know the whole George Carlin spiel about "fuck" being the only word in existence that can be any part of speech - noun, verb, adjective, adverb, exclamation, imperative, and so on. But I just wanted to point out it's additional versatility to those lazy enough or harried enough not to think of a more specific and telling way of implying a situation is extreme. For every "this evening is as cold as though all the warmth of light and living things had uprooted from its bitter soil and gone to the other side of the world," you're gonna hear about 1,000 "Jesus, it's cold as fuck tonight." Sorry, sophisticates, that's just the way it is. Good thing we have at least ONE all-purpose word! Although, like a drug, it tempts you to be lazy, take the easy way out, and avail yourself of its survices rather than put the brainpower into coming up with something more creative. Oh well, I still think it's funny when used right. Some things never really get old.
2:2:12
I'm running out of things to say
I'm fading away
This is my one and only chance to take up arms,
To fight for what is free and gay
To take the righteous way
But I'm running out of will and charm
And thence I am trapped, my good will my harm.
The nightingales sing whatever men do
They sing for you
Under the moonlight I spotted a face I cannot forget
On a computer screen we grew
Like twined vines, one from two
And those feelings you awoke in me I cannot regret
Though the heart that lies broken in me has not mended yet.
I'm running low on excuses
But oh to the horror we go!
You fear the day the lights go off forever
But oh to the lightless hollow we go!
Ramshackled beings never meant
To be anything other than second-born weaklings
Yet we shoulder beyond our limits the worst of it.
I'm running out of things to say
I'm fading away
This is my one and only chance to take up arms,
To fight for what is free and gay
To take the righteous way
But I'm running out of will and charm
And thence I am trapped, my good will my harm.
The nightingales sing whatever men do
They sing for you
Under the moonlight I spotted a face I cannot forget
On a computer screen we grew
Like twined vines, one from two
And those feelings you awoke in me I cannot regret
Though the heart that lies broken in me has not mended yet.
I'm running low on excuses
But oh to the horror we go!
You fear the day the lights go off forever
But oh to the lightless hollow we go!
Ramshackled beings never meant
To be anything other than second-born weaklings
Yet we shoulder beyond our limits the worst of it.
Recovering.
It just makes me feel normal, relived, confident, a bit inspired, knowing I have some safety net, everything is not so skeletal, there is softness and comfort in the world. We are all in this together, and there are almost 7 billion of us out there. Computers keep us chained and yet connect us to places elsewhere. I feel so different that without the little tiny molecules that bind to my receptor sites that reassure the neurons there that things are quite alright, I would be a different person as you have now seen. And I am not scared. I feel humbled, but I feel human again. I am no alien castoff from another shore that landed upon this blue world full of people with strange eyes and looked at myself in the mirror and felt my heart drop to the floor. It is not all bad out there. We carve out a niche and find confort there, as long as we allow the passage of air and people and keep ourself pushing and eager, and keep it a home and not a nest. For nests can become silk cacoons, and in a jungle of noises the pink baboon by the light of the moon is sharpening his auburn spear. I have had enough and I want to start somewhere. But one thing at a time. One task. I can't get overwhelmed and do nothing, till another jolt of panic, another jolt of hopelessness followed by volts that made me manic, till another external force over which I have no control comes along to dictate my life. I want control of my life and not to let anyone take hold of my life. I want financial security, though it is a long ways off. I want maturity, emotional, physical, logistical, nutritional. I want to finish growing up and if it involves pain, I accept. But I never want to face the cliffs of Taeglin again, wounded to my heart, on the brink of diving in, on the brink of dying, on the precipice of sin. For it would be a greater sin not to be there for the people who in turn need me. Whatever support I can give them, family or friends, I give it gladly and free. Maybe turning it around and helping will set other souls free, and in the end my own. Not because I want it so, but because it's what happens when you let all your wants go.
It just makes me feel normal, relived, confident, a bit inspired, knowing I have some safety net, everything is not so skeletal, there is softness and comfort in the world. We are all in this together, and there are almost 7 billion of us out there. Computers keep us chained and yet connect us to places elsewhere. I feel so different that without the little tiny molecules that bind to my receptor sites that reassure the neurons there that things are quite alright, I would be a different person as you have now seen. And I am not scared. I feel humbled, but I feel human again. I am no alien castoff from another shore that landed upon this blue world full of people with strange eyes and looked at myself in the mirror and felt my heart drop to the floor. It is not all bad out there. We carve out a niche and find confort there, as long as we allow the passage of air and people and keep ourself pushing and eager, and keep it a home and not a nest. For nests can become silk cacoons, and in a jungle of noises the pink baboon by the light of the moon is sharpening his auburn spear. I have had enough and I want to start somewhere. But one thing at a time. One task. I can't get overwhelmed and do nothing, till another jolt of panic, another jolt of hopelessness followed by volts that made me manic, till another external force over which I have no control comes along to dictate my life. I want control of my life and not to let anyone take hold of my life. I want financial security, though it is a long ways off. I want maturity, emotional, physical, logistical, nutritional. I want to finish growing up and if it involves pain, I accept. But I never want to face the cliffs of Taeglin again, wounded to my heart, on the brink of diving in, on the brink of dying, on the precipice of sin. For it would be a greater sin not to be there for the people who in turn need me. Whatever support I can give them, family or friends, I give it gladly and free. Maybe turning it around and helping will set other souls free, and in the end my own. Not because I want it so, but because it's what happens when you let all your wants go.
So you're in a panic?
The first thing to do is stop panicking. This sounds stupid but when you're in a panic, you're filled with notions that you're going to die, or that your life is unmanageable, a disaster; that the panic is how you should "truly" feel, away from all the medications and the pep talk and the wishing, this is reality. That's nonsense, reality is just what you make of it, how you perceive it. To you it is. So get out of your panic by any means you have to. If you have medication, take it. If you're out, get a refill. If you can't get an immediate refill, go to an emergency room. Yes, even though it's just panic. People do rash things when they're like this. Your heart hurts and you can't breathe. You feel shivery all over. You don't know if you're going to vomit or explode or seep out through your pores in a cold sweat, and everything seems too dark and too empty. There is no where to go where you will feel better, you think. Nowhere where someone will hold you, will tell you it's going to be alright. Who will love you unconditionally right then, who'll understand. Not give advice, just hold you. And before you lies the wasteland of the future - everything is going wrong and will continue to go wrong. Your life is a wreck. Even if it is, especially if it is, you need out of the spiral of panic before you can even take the first step toward turning things around. Maybe you can tell I'm in that that spiral now and I'm fighting. Just fighting, just telling myself what I already know and going over the same body scans and breathing that I learned even though it's not yet helping. I've take a couple pills and I'm waiting, but I'm also fighting back. I know parts of my life, maybe even the whole thing, is a disaster. But I'm only 34 and I have lots of years ahead of me if I don't throw them away. And I don't want to live the way I've lived my adult life. I have learned some coping skills and I am better at dealing with the worst of things on my own if I have to, although it sucks like hell. I'm working on putting one foot in front of the other. I'm trying to get up off the mat and get my feet under me, get some traction to move forward, all those cliches. Trying not to be physically sick right now, though waves of nausea wash over me. I will try to get more organized, try to simplify my life by not waiting to put out fires but putting something of myself into each day, against the grain of what feels easier. I will begin to build up some energy again, to get healthier. Put one foot in front of the other and see where it leads. What I will not do is give in to this feeling and scream, at the very top of my lungs, and burst into a million things. Shaking, crying. I am breathing now and my fingers flying. Now slowing down a little. Everything ends, even this. Panic attacks go away. They always have before. I'm not alone. It's late and I'm scared, but there are a couple people in the world who know me and love me. That is better off that some people have it. Sometimes you have to focus on the positive even when the negative wants to answer every thought with "yeah, but.." Just focus on the positive, or on a point, and breathe, relax each muscle. Find your way out of the panic and then you can deal with those other things. You've got lots of time, you don't need to start right this second. Deal with NOW now. The first thing you need to do is stop being afraid. It will be ok.
The first thing to do is stop panicking. This sounds stupid but when you're in a panic, you're filled with notions that you're going to die, or that your life is unmanageable, a disaster; that the panic is how you should "truly" feel, away from all the medications and the pep talk and the wishing, this is reality. That's nonsense, reality is just what you make of it, how you perceive it. To you it is. So get out of your panic by any means you have to. If you have medication, take it. If you're out, get a refill. If you can't get an immediate refill, go to an emergency room. Yes, even though it's just panic. People do rash things when they're like this. Your heart hurts and you can't breathe. You feel shivery all over. You don't know if you're going to vomit or explode or seep out through your pores in a cold sweat, and everything seems too dark and too empty. There is no where to go where you will feel better, you think. Nowhere where someone will hold you, will tell you it's going to be alright. Who will love you unconditionally right then, who'll understand. Not give advice, just hold you. And before you lies the wasteland of the future - everything is going wrong and will continue to go wrong. Your life is a wreck. Even if it is, especially if it is, you need out of the spiral of panic before you can even take the first step toward turning things around. Maybe you can tell I'm in that that spiral now and I'm fighting. Just fighting, just telling myself what I already know and going over the same body scans and breathing that I learned even though it's not yet helping. I've take a couple pills and I'm waiting, but I'm also fighting back. I know parts of my life, maybe even the whole thing, is a disaster. But I'm only 34 and I have lots of years ahead of me if I don't throw them away. And I don't want to live the way I've lived my adult life. I have learned some coping skills and I am better at dealing with the worst of things on my own if I have to, although it sucks like hell. I'm working on putting one foot in front of the other. I'm trying to get up off the mat and get my feet under me, get some traction to move forward, all those cliches. Trying not to be physically sick right now, though waves of nausea wash over me. I will try to get more organized, try to simplify my life by not waiting to put out fires but putting something of myself into each day, against the grain of what feels easier. I will begin to build up some energy again, to get healthier. Put one foot in front of the other and see where it leads. What I will not do is give in to this feeling and scream, at the very top of my lungs, and burst into a million things. Shaking, crying. I am breathing now and my fingers flying. Now slowing down a little. Everything ends, even this. Panic attacks go away. They always have before. I'm not alone. It's late and I'm scared, but there are a couple people in the world who know me and love me. That is better off that some people have it. Sometimes you have to focus on the positive even when the negative wants to answer every thought with "yeah, but.." Just focus on the positive, or on a point, and breathe, relax each muscle. Find your way out of the panic and then you can deal with those other things. You've got lots of time, you don't need to start right this second. Deal with NOW now. The first thing you need to do is stop being afraid. It will be ok.
Wednesday, June 20
Until I come home.
I will start at every door-knock
Feel my stomach drop with each child
Who wanders by with her hand so tiny
In mother or father's grasp
Until I come home.
I will hold my breath when any phone rings
Any email releases that chord of sound
Stand with my hand in my pockets
Looking out at the dimming clouds
When families lay their blankets
On green public grounds
Until I come home.
I will trample the land with my footfalls
Searching for something that is not there
And keep expecting to find it
Under every snowfall
Until I come home.
I will know the world of Ulysses
And of Turin, Tristan, Beowulf and Sigurd
And will harden myself to the world
For survival,
Yet will also trap within all the life
I used to have, to save as much as
I possibly can
And yet lose it as my deeds grow longer
And my body perhaps stronger
But my mind descending near to madness;
I will walk amongst the dead and the tragic
Upon magical footstones
Never leaving the path for fear
That I will never find my way back
Unaware the stones themselves
Are vanishing in my tracks,
Until I come home.
I will start at every door-knock
Feel my stomach drop with each child
Who wanders by with her hand so tiny
In mother or father's grasp
Until I come home.
I will hold my breath when any phone rings
Any email releases that chord of sound
Stand with my hand in my pockets
Looking out at the dimming clouds
When families lay their blankets
On green public grounds
Until I come home.
I will trample the land with my footfalls
Searching for something that is not there
And keep expecting to find it
Under every snowfall
Until I come home.
I will know the world of Ulysses
And of Turin, Tristan, Beowulf and Sigurd
And will harden myself to the world
For survival,
Yet will also trap within all the life
I used to have, to save as much as
I possibly can
And yet lose it as my deeds grow longer
And my body perhaps stronger
But my mind descending near to madness;
I will walk amongst the dead and the tragic
Upon magical footstones
Never leaving the path for fear
That I will never find my way back
Unaware the stones themselves
Are vanishing in my tracks,
Until I come home.
If you're not overconfident, you have no business writing.
Even if in actuality you lack confidence and feel entirely too self-conscious, the act of writing things down as though what you felt was of any importance and anyone else would care is an act of extreme cockiness, of egotism. And yet you overcome this thought because the thing must be written. Sometime you have to shout out quiet things really loud so that people can hear how quiet they really are, above the din of senseless petty conversation and vacuous rockstar blithering. Sometimes you have to be a prick to get people to notice just how nice you really are.
This is why introverts who cannot find a means of expressing their constantly tumbling epiphanies in some alternative way - an alternative to talking to friends or writing a television show or whatever it is that extroverts do - die a slow, hard-to-watch death as they accumulate the cobwebs of years of living inside themselves, cluttering their attic with games never played, secrets never shared, loves that died without finding their targets. Express or die - so though I am far from hale of spirit, I write and share this as though it were the show-stopper of the day, sentences that everyone will read and nod their heads in recognition.
This isn't so, but if I didn't make myself believe it were, I would cease to write, and I would become a living skeleton chilled to inaction by the freezing winds of too-quickly passing time, looking at my clock and wondering when it will be over, hoping to have an accident, dreaming about worlds that don't exist.
Even if in actuality you lack confidence and feel entirely too self-conscious, the act of writing things down as though what you felt was of any importance and anyone else would care is an act of extreme cockiness, of egotism. And yet you overcome this thought because the thing must be written. Sometime you have to shout out quiet things really loud so that people can hear how quiet they really are, above the din of senseless petty conversation and vacuous rockstar blithering. Sometimes you have to be a prick to get people to notice just how nice you really are.
This is why introverts who cannot find a means of expressing their constantly tumbling epiphanies in some alternative way - an alternative to talking to friends or writing a television show or whatever it is that extroverts do - die a slow, hard-to-watch death as they accumulate the cobwebs of years of living inside themselves, cluttering their attic with games never played, secrets never shared, loves that died without finding their targets. Express or die - so though I am far from hale of spirit, I write and share this as though it were the show-stopper of the day, sentences that everyone will read and nod their heads in recognition.
This isn't so, but if I didn't make myself believe it were, I would cease to write, and I would become a living skeleton chilled to inaction by the freezing winds of too-quickly passing time, looking at my clock and wondering when it will be over, hoping to have an accident, dreaming about worlds that don't exist.
Running
Driving, ducking, hiding
Climbing and descending
Into obscure pits
Can't escape the mall
Can't escape the city
Round and round you go in your
Running dream
I'm tired of the running dream
That keeps looping in my head
Like a bad movie
Until I sleep again
And I'm still moving
Through racks of clothes
Down streets
Huddle with a shotgun waiting
Looking down the sights
Point blank
But they never stay dead
Wanted for murder then
Of a lover and a best friend
Driving endlessly
Given blazing looks by police
Who are crawling antlike
Over the hills, spilling
Into the valleys
I'm trying to get to the beach
Find the horizon
But I'm caught in a roundabout
And people questioning
Suspicious eyes from everyone
But never the arrest
They want the chase to continue
They don't want me to wake
And know it's over
All of them want me to run forever
All of me secretly
Wants me to suffer
In the running dream.
Driving, ducking, hiding
Climbing and descending
Into obscure pits
Can't escape the mall
Can't escape the city
Round and round you go in your
Running dream
I'm tired of the running dream
That keeps looping in my head
Like a bad movie
Until I sleep again
And I'm still moving
Through racks of clothes
Down streets
Huddle with a shotgun waiting
Looking down the sights
Point blank
But they never stay dead
Wanted for murder then
Of a lover and a best friend
Driving endlessly
Given blazing looks by police
Who are crawling antlike
Over the hills, spilling
Into the valleys
I'm trying to get to the beach
Find the horizon
But I'm caught in a roundabout
And people questioning
Suspicious eyes from everyone
But never the arrest
They want the chase to continue
They don't want me to wake
And know it's over
All of them want me to run forever
All of me secretly
Wants me to suffer
In the running dream.
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