Saturday, October 31

Happy Halloween!

Especially for you Wiccans out there. Here's some fun and frightening music for everyone!


Meanwhile, I'll be watching the Phantom of the Opera movie tonight, and possibly some (semi-)scary flicks, now that I have my antianxiety pills refilled =)

The beautiful Amy Lee, everyone!

Performing "Sally's Song" from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Seemed like a good occasion :-)



"Coming Back To Life"
(Pink Floyd)

Where were you when I was burned and broken,
While the days slipped by, from my window watching?
Where were you, when I was hurt and helpless?
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me.

While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard,
I was staring straight into the shining sun.

Lost in thought and lost in time,
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted.
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime.

I took a heavenly ride through our silence,
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life.

I took a heavenly ride through our silence,
I knew the waiting had begun;
And headed straight... into the shining sun.

Friday, October 30

Thursday, October 29

HTML 5

I've been wanting to jump into web design and specifically web coding for awhile now, but have been held back because of the big mess of standards: which browsers support which features of which technology, and which don't. The "safe" thing to do right now, in order not to exclude the great mass of IE users out there, is to use HTML 4 and CSS 1, or XHTML 1 and CSS (1 or 2). It still seems like a hodgepodge, though, and I have no confidence Microstupid will ever make a standards-compliant browser.

So I decided, screw anyone using IE, just on principle, as well as to make learning modern web design more exciting and cutting-edge. I'm going to just start with HMTL 5, which seems perpetually in draft stage (sorta like beta software), but it's not that there's anything wrong with the standard (in fact there's a whole lot of cool stuff about it), it's the old chicken and egg game of waiting for browsers to support it fully. And IE is holding everyone else on the web back.

If you're interested at what new things are possible with HTML 5 and what it's all about, go here:
http://www.webmonkey.com/tutorial/Building_Web_Pages_With_HTML_5

I'd like to switch my blog from Blogger to Wordpress, and totally re-style it and spruce it up (in fact I already have my Wordpress account set up, the name reserved, and have a Flikr account for hosting photos and a FileFactory account for hosting other kinds of files, like MP3s or homemade video which I could legally stream to my blog). And, ta-da, here's a guy who's already made a free template for Wordpress in HTML 5:
http://digwp.com/2009/07/free-html-5-wordpress-theme/

If you want to see a big gallery of sites that are already using it HTML 5, and some of the cool things they've come up with, go here:
http://html5gallery.com/

Basically, HTML 5 does away with all the kludged-together standards and proprietary workarounds of yesteryear, everything from HTML 1-4, CSS 1-2, XHTML, much of what Javascript was needed for, some of what Flash was needed for, and so on. It also breaks free of its SGML roots, if that means anything to you (it will if you're a FrameMaker or RoboHelp user). It's basically a new markup language using almost the same syntax, but structured much more cleanly and incorporating a lot of external technologies (extensions) into the core language. And it's backwards compatible in the sense that it won't break older browsers or lame browsers (IE) that don't recognize its new bits - those parts just won't function or maybe won't even appear. The browser will ignore the "5" content as though it were just commented out. At least, that's the theory. I don't know the reality yet.

Of course, you can still augment your site with SQL, XML, or other backends if you need those functions (say, if you're a store and need to keep an inventory), and scripting languages like Perl, PHP, Python, Ruby, AJAX, and plain Javascript will still function; in fact, most of them will work even better since HTML is more extension-aware (I won't bore you with the details). So basically, it's all good news, except that the large IE market out there might not be able to see/use the best parts of your site, like embedded video and audio (without extensions!) and SVG graphics. If you're running a business, this is bad. But I'm not running a business, and I don't care about people who use IE. In fact, I'll put a big old "IE sucks, get another browser and come back" badge right on my homepage or something; anything to encourage people to switch to something that plays nice.

Fun to have new things to learn and play with. Cloud computing. Web 2.0. Whatever trendy buzzword you want to use. Web pages aren't just to look at anymore, they do things now. Don't expect a blog move anytime extremely soon, though... I still have a lot to learn and I won't switch to a new host and a new code base until I've tested the heck out of it and am sure it will fly. Plus I'll need time even once I figure out how it all works to come up with a unique, cool template design that I'll be happy with for a long time. This one has served me well but it's ancient! I want a lot more control over audio, video, fonts, and pixel-level placement of page elements than this blogger template could ever give me. Plus links to things like a resume/CV and other pages for other parts of my life and other purposes besides blogging.

I did it!!!


Wednesday, October 28

A PC build to save for. Or?

My computer uses are varied and not very similar to one another. Of course I surf, check email, and check My Zoo on Facebook, as well as download files using BitTorrent and blog about stuff like what I use my computer for. These things, any computer can do. Hell, an iPhone can do them.

But I use my computer also to: 1) Play technologically-demanding games, and 2) Participate in creative activities like photo-retouching, messing around with 3D apps, architectural software and the like.

I don't have any money and I'm not making any money. But if I do at some point, I would face a choice: To save for a Mac, or to substantially upgrade my PC. Given the looming obsolescence of my current computer, I should start saving what I can for one option or the other. Here are the benefits and shortcomings...

I'd love to have a new 27" iMac with the i7 CPU upgrade. The benefits are compactness, reliability, OS satisfaction, aesthetic satisfaction, and fairly cutting-edge technologies. The shortcomings are price (slightly) and mediocre 3D graphics. It's odd how everyone thinks of Macs as "good at graphics" when they're not... yes, the OS looks nice, the cases are beautiful, but the actual availability and compatibility of the best 3D videocards on the market, for both workstations or gaming machines, is well behind that of PCs. And the expandability on an iMac is basically nil. I'd have to shell out for a Mac Pro to get any future-proofing, and I have no illusions of drumming up that kind of money.

If I simply upgraded my PC, it would basically be replacing the entire guts of my PC. The problem is that while PCs are viewed as part-upgradable, that's really a bunch of crap. You almost always have to upgrade your motherboard, CPU, RAM, and power supply all at the same time, and likely you're wanting a new videocard or two as well. So what's left? The case and HDDs? Basically, yeah, as well as DVD-ROM and external peripherals. I would want an i7 920 (entry-level Nehalem, very overclockable), a mainboard that could run it, 1333 or 1600 DDR3 RAM, two ATI 5850 cards in Crossfire mode, and a buff PSU to power it all. Hell, might as well get a new, quiet case while I'm at it, and a backlit keyboard to replace this POS that I'm using at the moment. The upside? More bang for the buck than the Mac option, more expandability for the future for games and for Photoshop. The downside? Still using Windoze. Barf.

I wish there weren't so many options sometimes. I hate computers - sometimes. Either way I go in the future I'm looking at either a new computer or an almost complete new build; thus between $1300 and $2500. That's not even comprehensible to me right now as someone with NO money.

Guess I will have to work on my real life and find a way to work and make money if I'm to keep up, and continue to enjoy my computer-oriented hobbies. Or I will have to give up on computers and take up outdoor activities, which is surely infinitely more healthy. I... just... love... computers. Well, sometimes. Sometimes I loathe them, too.

Juliana Hatfield.

Tuesday, October 27

The leaves are crunchy.

I noticed awhile back that the trees were changing colors and kept meaning to do a photo shoot but never did. That seems to be what happens these days. Why aren't I motivated?

The trees started losing their leaves weeks ago but they were still limp; still hanging on to life. There were yellow ones, green ones, and orange ones with black spots.

Today they're almost all brown, and they've officially gone crunchy enough that I can make a wandering path on my way to where I'm going just to stomp on the biggest upside-down ones.

I even found a big pile of them earlier, swept against a retaining wall by the dry wind, and jumped around in them for a few minutes with giddy glee, like popping bubble wrap but even better.

I guess you have to take what you can from autumn.

Monday, October 19

Word challenge! (Medium)

Here are some medium-difficult words, see if you can give a brief definition or use each in a sentence (in the comments section).

Alternately, if you don't know some of them, you can choose to make up a funny false definition.

To those for whom English is not your native tongue, don't feel bad if you don't know any of these words; they're not the kind you'll typically hear in conversation or web chats!

01. demesne
02. bucolic
03. blunderbuss
04. hoary
05. piebald
06. enervated
07. mendacious
08. bellicose
09. torpid
10. numinous
11. elucidate
12. abjure

    Good luck! No cheating (please)!

    Lists

    Sometimes I think the primary difference between humans and the other great apes, and indeed the whole of the animal kingdom itself*, is our propensity to organize the world into "top ten" lists. At least some of us are afflicted by that illness!

    *As opposed to the other Kingdoms. Plants makes lists all the time, and fungi dabble occasionally. Bacteria and Archaebacteria are not known to be prolific list-compilers, but admittedly little is known about their habits when not being directly observed under a sodding great f#cking big lamp by a huge, bloodshot eye.

    Sunday, October 18

    LOL


    Saturday, October 17

    My favorite toys as a kid were...

    My favorite toys as a child were... (you may select more than one)
    Slinky
    Jacks
    Hula Hoop
    Ouija Board
    Pogo Stick
    Silly Putty
    Simon
    Rubik's Cube
    Blocks
    Tinker Toys
    Pong or Atari console
    My Bike!
    Dolls
    My Skateboard or Skates
    Child's Oven
    Yo-Yo
    Play-Dough
    Legos
    Erector Set
    Others (tell us in the comments!)
    uggs boots

    Here's the deal.

    More like just a request, since you've no obligation to even view my blog, much less negotiate terms.

    Seems like people hit the polls pretty consistently and other easy, prepackaged food items on my blog (save empath, who comments on almost everything :), but rarely utter a peep about the more serious, or prosaic, stuff. Like my article just written about how technology has not really enabled artists to be more free.

    I'll continue to throw in polls, quizzes, pictures, videos, and fun stuff, if people will realize that little essays, philosophy, poems, and lyrics is what truly interests ME. You're under no obligation of course, but it makes me very happy to see intelligent comments in reply to something I've thought out and written down here, not just the pop-culture stuff that so many blogs feature.

    Just asking, if you could, to consider the deeper arts.

    Much of it's my fault for not reviewing books and movies, a sort of intellectual middleground, as I promised I would. I shall try to focus on that, and other ways of drawing people into more serious discussions.

    Cheers.

    Ancient culture curveball... no gods involved.

    What is your favorite ancient culture to learn about, if you have one?
    Sumerians
    Egyptians
    Greeks
    Romans
    Chinese
    Maya
    Israelites
    Persians
    Aboriginals
    None or other than above
    uggs on sale

    Ruminations on art and tech.

    The computer has not yet empowered people with artistic vision but who are challenged by technique to break out and express themselves. To thin that wall between what is imagined and what is presented.

    It merely allows different forms of expression, and comes with its own set of barriers and learning curves. Perhaps this is indigenous, inexorable. But I don't think so. I think there are those:

    With little artistic vision or ambition.
    With moderate to great vision but who lack technique.
    True masters of both.

    The true masters will find a way in any culture, with any tools, in any setting. We have seen it from times primordial and now lost. The first kind of people are not to be scorned, they are who they are and shouldn't be judged.

    It's the middle kind of people computers seemed to promise to liberate to some degree. If you could take away the element of manual dexterity, the knowledge of mixing pigments, maybe that rare person's vision could come through as he or she sees it internally.

    Sadly, it's not turned out that way. Sure, photos are manipulated, 3D objects are created in wireframe and covered with textures and maps, music is synthesized to make sounds never before heard, even industrial design is changed by 6-axis controllers and 3D 'printers.'

    But the barrier to entry is still there. The interface, the techniques of these new technologies is very challenging, and still requires lots of practice and some initial genetic ability. As I said, it could be that such things are inseparable - part and parcel of art. The beauty is in the final product, but also in the journey.

    It's not made writing prose or poetry or lyrics any easier, nor can retouching tools save an uninspired photo, nor 'natural' painting tools make paintings which look natural, nor can, still, the man or woman who has a sudden vision easily turn that into something which others can experience.

    Technology has added more tools, more possible outcomes, more things to practice, and perhaps made the variety of media richer. It's not as though it's killed traditional art in the least. People still work clay with their hands for the feeling of it, and smelt swords, and arrange words and speak before crowds.

    I guess the frustration is (and may always be, but I don't think so), that unless you take up the noble but distinct art of technique and/or technical knowledge, an intuitive transfer of what you see or hear or feel in your head and heart still cannot be easily made flesh, so to speak.

    I know I struggle with a lack of technique in drawing, painting, photography, sculpting, making music, singing, conveying ineffable feelings through verbal imagery, and crafting stories, and it's frustrating because there is so much there, awaiting only simple, intuitive UIs and tools to allow me to release them in all their horror and heavenly beauty.

    Unofficial video.

    Thursday, October 15

    A poll about polls... and other things.

    What would you like to see most in the short-term? (All of these are planned at some point). You can select multiple answers but please limit these to those that interest you the most!
    A quiz about ancient mythology.
    A poll about your favorite music over the years.
    A quiz about your knowledge of food.
    A poll about the ways you use technology.
    A series of essays on the basics of science.
    A series of essays on the basics of mysticism.
    Book, film, and software reviews.
    Tips and tricks for Windows XP and the Internet (general)
    Getting started in digital photography.
    About the net's role in tracing one's geneaology.
    Your favorite toys as a kid.
    Your favorite activities and lifestyle now.
    An introduction to the great English-speaking poets.
    The latest science news and strange and funny stories from the web.
    Other
    Please Specify:
    uggs boots

    Wednesday, October 14

    Snakes are cool... to a point.

    Biggest snake that ever existed (so far as is known).

    Meanwhile, Dinos are getting kicked in the nads this week.

    What a lovely thing science is. Always full of surprises!

    This looks scary as all hell.

    Can't wait to see it!

    Tuesday, October 13

    Heh, cool.

    Monday, October 12

    Smartest guy ever? I think so.

    “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

    Albert Einstein

    Saturday, October 10

    Sweet!

    Builders of Stonehenge Found

    I'm surprised this passed me by as I usually scan the science news pretty thoroughly. Plus, I've seen Andrew Fitzpatrick in several documentaries talking about various structures in Wales and whatnot, but I didn't know he was in on a big story about Stonehenge.

    Anyway, cool.

    Sticking with the Nordic theme...

    Here is a funny, yet right on the mark, article about Icelanders:
    http://www.thestar.com/travel/adventure/article/693099

    Here's a crazy video by Röyksopp

    What Else Is There? from Röyksopp on Vimeo.

    Here is Karin Dreijer of Fever Ray. =)

    Here is your author.

    Here are some cute kitties.

    Hey, Dr. Hadley is the hottest girl in the world!

    According to men's magazine Maxim, that is, which releases its "Hot 100" every year. To quote:

    Olivia Wilde Tops Maxim Hot 100 List


    "Maxim’s annual Hot 100 list came out earlier today with a surprising top finish for “House M.D.” and “Alpha Dog” star Olivia Wilde. Surprising not because she’s not attractive (far from!), but rather because she’s not as well known as some of the other ranking ladies. Ladies such as — personal favorites — Scarlett Johansson (#34) or Beyonce (#54). Still, hard to complain with Maxim’s choice as Ms. Wilde is quite the catch."

    Here is another pic from the 2009 Emmys.


    Here is the full list, by the way:
    100. Deanna Russo
    99. Melissa Rycroft
    98. Rebecca Mader
    97. Marisa Tomei
    96. Olivia Munn
    95. Padma Lakshmi
    94. Yvonne Strahovski
    93. Michelle Obama (huh?)
    92. Joanna Krupa
    91. Chelsea Handler
    90. Roselyn Sanchez
    89. Jamie Chung
    88. Diane Kruger
    87. Summer Glau
    86. Ali Campoverdi
    85. Michelle Trachtenberg
    84. Minka Kelly
    83. Whitney Port
    82. Emma Watson
    81. Heidi Montag
    80. Jamie Gunns
    79. Jaime King
    78. Danica Patrick
    77. Stacy Keibler
    76. Cameron Richardson
    75. Tricia Helfer
    74. Amanda Bynes
    73. Ashley Tisdale
    72. Camilla Belle
    71. Gabrielle Union
    70. Maria Menounos
    69. Jennifer Morrison
    68. Ashley Greene
    67. Emmy Rossum
    66. Emma Stone
    65. Amanda Righetti
    64. Diora Baird
    63. Milla Jovovich
    62. Heidi Klum
    61. Dania Ramirez
    60. Carrie Underwood
    59. Ana Ivanovic
    58. Miranda Kerr
    57. Audrina Patridge
    56. Amber Heard
    55. Christina Milian
    54. Rachel Bilson
    53. Kim Kardashian
    52. Beyoncé
    51. Sienna Miller
    50. Taylor Swift
    49. Freida Pinto
    48. Arielle Kebbel
    47. Katie Cassidy
    46. Nicole Scherzinger
    45. Fergie
    44. Avril Lavigne
    43. Elisha Cuthbert
    42. Nikki Reed
    41. Nadine Velazquez
    40. Lily Allen
    39. Anna Faris
    38. Charlize Theron
    37. Cameron Diaz
    36. Hayden Panettiere
    35. Anna Kournikova
    34. Scarlett Johansson
    33. Blake Lively
    32. Ciara
    31. Hilary Duff
    30. Penélope Cruz
    29. Zoe Saldana
    28. Danneel Harris
    27. Vanessa Hudgens
    26. Angelina Jolie
    25. Julianne Hough
    24. Eva Mendes
    23. Lindsay Lohan (yuck)
    22. Kate Beckinsale
    21. AnnaLynne McCord
    20. Moon Bloodgood
    19. Chan Marshall
    18. Marisa Miller
    17. Britney Spears
    16. Gina Carano
    15. Katy Perry
    14. Christina Aguilera
    13. Jessica Alba
    12. Leighton Meester
    11. Jessica Biel
    10. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    9. Jordana Brewster
    8. Rihanna
    7. Adriana Lima
    6. Eliza Dushku
    5. Mila Kunis
    4. Malin Akerman
    3. Bar Refaeli
    2. Megan Fox
    1. Olivia Wilde

    On my own top 100, I'd probably keep 1, 2, 4, 5, 13, 19, 22, 26, 34, 38, 39, 43, 51, 59, 63, 72, and 96, though definitely not in that order. Maybe a few others.

    Just goes to show, not everyone is right. I mean, everyone has different tastes. That's what I meant.

    This is a trip.

    Here's the good old Mercator Projection of the Earth. No big deal.

    Now if the countries are resized according to their relative populations, look what happens (click for bigger pic).

    Whoa!

    I think India needs about a zillion boxes of condoms dropped on them. Also, Indonesia, Japan, China (though their growth has stalled because of their 1-child policy), Mexico, and some African countries.

    To see more fascinating population maps, including one of each country, visit these links:

    The main site
    Select a country by clicking on it
    The Daily Mail's writeup

    Thursday, October 8



    Wednesday, October 7

    Yahoo! Answers.

    Check out Yahoo! Answers, a great community resource for asking questions and receiving HUMAN answers, which range the gamut from nonsensical to truly helpful. It fills a niche that pure AI-driven inquiry results can't hope to match at the present, though you must use your brain in order to sort the wheat from the chaff (which you should always be doing in life anyways).

    It's fun too, both to ask esoteric questions and to answer questions about subjects in which you are particularly knowledgeable. Good job, Yahoo. I like it!

    http://answers.yahoo.com

    Tuesday, October 6

    LOL! Google is cool.

    Go to the normal Google search page and type in "Google Chuck Norris"

    Haha. As big as they are, Google still has an impish sense of humor.

    Weird...

    I'm in a GREAT mood tonight!!

    Alexander the Great's Empire.

    A lot has been said about Alexander of Macedon and his conquests. What's amazing to me is how tiny Macedonia is compared to his conquered area, a conquest all done within his brief lifetime (he died aged 32, 4 years younger than I am!). First he had to conquer the rest of Greece, no mean feat. Then he decided as the ruler of all of Greece to exact revenge on Darius of Persia, a huge empire with about 10 times the population of all of the Greek city-states combined, because in his forefathers' time Darius' direct ancestor Xerxes had burned Athens to the ground and humiliated the proud Greeks. So he defeated Darius directly on the battlefield against typically 3-1 odds or worse, using superior tactics, and caused the great Persian king to flee from battle. This he repeated again, and soon he had Darius on the run back to Persepolis, his capital, which was adorned with treasures and a palace the likes of which even Alexander, schooled by Aristotle in Athens, had never seen. He pillaged Persepolis, burnt it to the ground as revenge for Athens, and erected a new temple for himself, taking on Darius' wives for his own as a final insult. Darius was forced to flee into the desert with a handful of bodyguards and was stabbed to death by one of them, probably for cowardice or maybe simply for his jewelry. And so the proud Persian empire and unbroken dynasty of kings, which had been certainly the largest and most formidable in the Western world since the decline of Pharaonic Egypt and until the rise of Rome some few hundred years later, was toppled in a few short years by a tiny neighbor with a brilliant general-king.

    And he didn't stop there. There seemed to be some restless demon inside him which would not let him stay content and enjoy palace life. He drove on inexplicably, conquering the nations we now call Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kazakhstan, Armenia, The Levant, Egypt (where he established the new capital of Alexandria, where Cleopatra would one day rule and which became the center of learning in the ancient world), and parts of India and Mongolia - with brief incursions into the monsoon country of southeast Asia and the steppes of central Asia (having already taken what is modern Iraq and Iran within a couple years). The United States today, with all its military power, could probably not accomplish this, certainly not in the time frame that Alexander did. Granted, there were much smaller populations all round the world in those days, and no nukes, so vast tracts of land could be taken without too much opposition, if you cut off the head of the snake (the leader) who controlled them. It was a matter of picking key battles, and Alexander is said to have never lost a battle in his life. Something drove this man to conquer almost the entire known world at that time (as opposed to the "unknown world," which I suppose means China didn't know its own country existed!), and rule over the largest empire the world would see until Ghengis Khan (although the Mongols really just terrorized all of Asia and never built much on their own, so it's hard to consider them an "empire"). Certainly in land terms it was larger than Rome would ever be, though as soon as Alexander died, and having failed to produce an heir, his empire would be divided into four pieces ruled by his favorite generals, and even these would eventually either splinter further, or slowly lose their Greek character and return to ways much the same as they were before the conquest (such as the Seleucid Empire, which the Jews would later revolt against in Judea).

    Despite his short lifespan, Alexander had an immense influence on the world. He ushered in what historians call the Hellenistic Age, when maybe one-quarter of the world's people spoke Greek and built architecture and made art in imitation of Greece. Greece had gone from a backwater of infighting city-states to the supreme world power in a matter of years. And long after the empire itself was dissolved, its cultural influence lasted. Saul of Tarsus was a Greek Jew who, after having a seizure (probably), having a vision of Jesus, and renaming himself Paul, became an apostle of the Christ (whom he never actually met), and spread Christianity to the gentiles. Paul was really the driving force (even more so than Peter or James, who wanted to keep the worship of Christ within Jewish Law and Jewish ethnic circles) behind creating the huge religion that exists today, whose followers so little understand the actual history behind who and what they worship. The Vatican really ought to name Paul the first Pope and claim he's buried under their cathedral rather than Peter, who by all accounts was Jewish to the last and wanted nothing to do with gentiles, which of course represent nearly all Christians today.

    And the Romans would adopt Greece's art and architecture, their pantheon of deities, their fighting style, and much of their culture when they rose to power, overthrowing their Etruscan oppressors in Italy so they could go on to build another great empire and oppress lots of other people. And in their conversion to Christianity under Constantine, they had the Bible formally put together and written in Greek, although a Hebrew copy also existed which differs somewhat. The Greek and Hebrew Bibles are the oldest forms we have today - not Latin, not Aramaic, certainly not Persian! And all because of a young fair-haired, probably homosexual warmonger named Alexander from the tiny state of Macedonia. History tends to move rather slowly, and rarely do individuals actually change the world, through they may be seen by posterity as the figureheads of a larger movement. But Alexander was one person whom I believe really did alter the course of world events all by himself. Without him things would be quite different. Better or worse? Who knows, but certainly different.

    Here is a map of the extent of Alexander's empire whilst he was still alive. It's impossibly small unless you click on it for the full size.

    Sunday, October 4

    1776 (Two become one)

    Now I grow old, desperation stinking from nightmarish states of mind.
    Like a little ritual, putting my pills into their resting spots.
    It makes me feel old, a happening in yellow, pink, light blue, and... violent.
    Psychotropic drugs: hungry like a pale fish, suck the world of all its color.
    It makes me feel old, schoolboy reticence, rows and columns of books so comforting.
    Lay on my back, dreaming of the past, dream of innocence again.
    It makes me feel old, when I talk about it, it's something you can't handle.
    Plays on my fears. Like a bear inside a cave, like a brave new underworld of danger.
    It makes me feel old, sticky lights, moving walls, dance for hours with foreigners.
    Night at the seashore, eyes back, dream-defined, waiting for moonbeams to take me.
    It makes me feel old, glitter of the dance ball, blue dress and blue eyes and blue skin.
    Now I come to it: see them twining, two become one and split back again.
    Like a little death. Un petit mot, saccharine, I'm inside a flower resurrecting.
    It makes me feel old, knowing that this spirit washed inside a shell, flowed
    Around the beach-head, took its time finding me who was waiting, face up to the sun,
    Moving my lips around like blind animals pulled screaming from amniotic bliss.
    It makes me so cold, now the razor cleans me up, now the dregs are oozing.
    Now I am young again, something in the sun took pity on my restlessness.
    The two became one, me and my spirit light, hot and yet so soothing.
    Gliding and moving, emissaries from the dark shaft of the ever-present grey
    Afterlife where you and I are talking and our eyes reveal to us... everything.

    Saturday, October 3

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