Corrrr!!

It figures. I've been waiting since 1998 for Brendan Perry's second solo album, Ark, which finally came out this year, though as a ridiculous $25 import if you live in the USA. I downloaded it, but I WILL buy it once it's a reasonable price and I have the money, because he's a brilliant, independent artist and he deserves it.

I've also been waiting since 2000 for StarCraft II and since 1998 for Diablo III. That's 10+ years folks, and the previous installments are still among the best-selling and most revered computer games of all time. You'd think they'd get sequels out quickly, right? Nope. This is Blizzard we're talking about, they of the "We'll release it when it's ready" timeframe. Granted, they always come through with the most polished, playtested, balanced, awesome games, so it's worth the wait, but 10 and 12 years??

Lastly, I haven't been waiting for Civilization V for that long since it sort of took everyone by surprise when it was announced, but I've played the hell out of Civs I through IV, and so getting and playing V into the ground is a given.

So, why does it sound like I'm complaining? Because 1) ALL three games are coming out in the next couple MONTHS, all at once, all of a sudden after all this time (StarCraft II is already out actually, and all my Facebook buddies are playing it and keep inviting me to join in). I can't NOT play them, they're far too awesome for that. 2) I have no money with which to purchase any one of these games, never mind all three. And 3) My video card bites and I'd need to spend $200-$300 to get one that's rad enough to play these games at decent settings and smooth framerates on my monitor. (The rest of my PC kicks butt.)

So basically, nothing was happening for a long, long, long time (something like a Biblical day), then all of a sudden I need $400 to get a video card and three epic games that could tide me over another 5+ years if they actually deliver (and Blizzard and Firaxis almost always do). Plus I still have to "pay Brendan back" for his CD which I couldn't afford but couldn't stand not being able to listen to.

All I can think is I'll keep selling stuff on eBay, namely my bike and maybe even my Nikon camera and lenses, wet suit, baseball gloves, tennis racquets, headphones, books... and with a few grand from sales, I can keep $500 of it or something for the above items, and use the rest to pay off debts, pay back my parents a couple drops in the big bucket of money they've hoisted my way over the years, or just start a savings or something; whatever is the most prudent and responsible thing to do, according to my royal advisers.

Or I'll have to face the unthinkable: Not getting any of the game sequels of my three most-loved franchises (well, 3 of the 5, maybe).......  Excuse me while I sob like a baby.

P.S. I've given up on getting an iPad, which starts at $499 for the lame model and that's without a case or any purchased apps or tax. Bah. I'll wait a few generations until they operate by thought or something, then maybe I'll be working again and can get whatever the hell I want. Ah, that would be so nice! I understand why I'm in the situation I'm in and I accept it, but that doesn't mean being bipolar and having panic disorder doesn't suck the huge one. It's frustrating, just by itself of course, but also the restrictions it imposes on one's life. For example just staying within computers and not even talking about a girlfriend/wife, a house, furniture, proper grown-up dishware and appliances, and so on, I'd also like a Mac at some point more than a PC, because I'm sick of all my PCs breaking down at some point.

I guess I'm supposed to be wise enough to realize that material things don't make us happy. It's doing good deeds and controlling negative thoughts that satisfy the soul more than anything one can purchase ever could.

Now back to sobbing.

These games are gonna rock SO hard