If you're thinking

that everything I post seems to lack hope and describes a profound detachment from the world and its affairs, and that attempts to live and operate in that world continually prove fruitless and frustrating; or if I've led you to believe that the reality I confront everyday makes no sense to me and that technology and explosive population and mechanization of this business of survival is increasingly dehumanizing and has removed us as a species from the only thing that once, perhaps, made it worthwhile - the undeniable fun of close social bonds with small numbers of people, bonds which last the better part of a lifetime - well, I have news for you:

You're right.

I don't enjoy this at all. I only see beauty anymore with blinded eyes, turned inward toward an imagination of other worlds filled with things which are no more or never were.