Monday, December 29

A few of my favourite things.

My usual list compulsion. Difference is I'm not claiming they are the 'best' with a big period (full-stop for you, Rach) at the end, just some things that spring to mind as exemplary in their genre. To me.

MacPros/MacBooks/iPods/iPhones - everything Apple.
The Civilization video game franchise.
Morrowind (PC game).
Labradors and labradoodles.
Cats of all kinds, as long as they're orange.
A great mattress, blankets and pillow.
New York pizza.
New England clam chowder.
San Francisco sourdough.
Baja-style fish tacos.
English chippies.
Anything Delusionist & Empath make.
Cheesecake, tiramisu.
Guinness Draught Ale.
Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, James Worthy.
Barry Bonds, Will Clark, Lou Gehrig.
Andre Agassi, John McEnroe, Roger Federer.
Google. YouTube. Gmail. Amazon.
Smiths, Beatles, DCD, The Floyd, Nick Drake, Dan Fogelberg.
Monty Python - everything they've done.
Most of Simon Pegg's stuff.
Wallace and Grommett.
House MD, or anything else with H. Laurie and/or S. Fry.
A great Shiraz, true Russian vodka (generic), te-kill-ya.
A great sauna, massage, facial, manicure, pedicure, and haircut.
Well-made, classically stylish clothes.
Well-made luggage, briefcase, backpack, handbag, etc.
A great electric toothbrush/tooth polisher/gum massager.
A custom-made table tennis bat or two.
Snow-peaked mountains on the horizon.
The air right after the rain.
The light at sunset.
The beach at sunset with a bonfire ready to blaze.
Ocean fishing from the shore on a warm night.
Documentaries about animals, space, history, geology, etc.
Driving very fast but in control (in a great car with new tires).
Stuff made out of leather, metal, and glass - no plastic at all.
Old-fashioned compasses, pocket watches, and field glasses.
Maps! Giant floor globes.
Brass refraction telescopes (moderate size), for backyard use.
Books - especially big stacks of them. Big, big stacks.
Did I mention books?
Snorkeling and diving.
Hiking, climbing, kayaking.
Basketball, baseball, tennis, ping pong, beach volleyball.
Strudel and coffee. Blended iced mochas. Coca-Cola Clasic.
Time with my mom and brother.
Pen pals.
Ancient Egypt.
The Perennial Philosophy.
A shiny clean apartment (flat) or house.
A shiny clean car in top shape.
Good moods and those rare good nights of sleep.
Traveling abroad with adequate monetary funds.
Journaling. Writing poems. Reading letters from friends.
Kissing and holding a lover.
Sleeping all night alongside someone - waking up together.
Pen and paper role-playing games.
Most any word or trivia game.
Running or playing sports beyond the point of exhaustion.
A hot bath with lavender incense or candles.
Sleeping somewhere besides home.
Heat on my lower back.
Firm handshakes.
Night classes.
Los Angeles Lakers games in High-Def on live TV!

Girls: (no order)
****** *****
Olivia Wilde
Kate Beckinsale
Cate Blanchett
Kate Winslett
Scarlett Johansson
Natalie Portman
Renee Zellweger
Naomi Watts
Gwyneth Paltrow
Monica Bellucci
Juliana Hatfield
Ellen Page
Claire Danes
Harriet Wheeler

Guys: (no order)
Harrison Ford
Sean Connery
Anthony Hopkins
Edward Norton
Morgan Freeman
Viggo Mortensen
Michael Caine
Heath Ledger
James Dean
Montgomery Clift
Clive Owen
Terence Stamp
Hugh Jackman
Ian McKellan
Alec Guinness

Movies: (no order)
Blade Runner, The Shawshank Redemption, 2001, Unforgiven, The Empire Strikes Back, Cinema Paradiso, Il Postino, Amelie, The Professional (Leon), Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Wizard of Oz, The Dark Knight, Apocalypse Now, The Wall, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Mulholland Drive, Lost In Translation.

Now's your chance to add to the list. Obviously it's totally unstructured and wildly incomplete. Between us we could compose a veritable Book of Kells! Except, not really any thing like that.

The key is to let it pop off the top of your head and resist the urge to clean it up or revise it (though I've cheated and added to mine several times). That's the beauty of the exercise. Don't think too much.


The low-life has lost its appeal
And I'm tired of walking these streets
To a room with its cupboard bare

I'm not sure what happiness means
But I look in your eyes
And I know
That it isn't there

We tried, we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried

There's ice on the sink where we bathe
So how can you call this home
When you know it's a grave?

But you still hold a reedy grace
As you tidy the place
But it will never be clean

We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried

Catch on a nail
It's just a fairy tale
And I don't believe in magic anymore,

But I think you know
I really think you know
I think you know the truth

No heavenly choirs
Not for me and not for you
Because I think that you know
I really think you know
I think you know the truth

That we tried and we failed
That we tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
Oh Jeane

(Morrissey/Marr ©1982)

Sunday, December 28


Spirit rise to greet the sun
takes my hand and beats the drum.
Tries to make me understand
we are as one in a sea of sand.

I'm praying for rain
to see desert flowers again.

The eagle flies up to the sun,
high above the plains of Babylon.
In one claw he holds an olive branch for peace,
in the other twelve arrows for his enemies.

For his enemies!

I'm praying for rain,
to see desert flowers again.

Spirit rise to help us see
the loving face of humanity;
Devoid of fear and free from greed,
devoted to the greater need.

I'm praying for rain,
to see desert flowers again.

Sons and daughters of America
you lay down your lives
for the Warlords of America
not for your sake, not for mine.

Sons and daughters of Great Albion
you send your children to die
for the Glory of Great Albion
but death is till the end of time...

Hold onto life!

The locust is born upon the wing,
its hunger seems as boundless as the great river plain.
Where the Tigris weaves its way toward the sea,
through a great desert in the heart of man.

I'm praying for rain,
to see desert flowers in bloom again.

Or the djinns of intolerance fade.

-Brendan Perry for Dead Can Dance ©2004

Saturday, December 27

This company's products look way too awesome.

Check them out HERE. No, I don't own any of them.
I wish!

Friday, December 26

Hymn For The Fallen.

My attends to you as a mother fears while her children sleep
Now look, see how they're dreaming
The black reciteries, while the children dream
Don't go so deep in slumber
Where you'll shy
Know you'll wander in sleep
Don't you fly too far away
Some men die without crying
Suffering so long and alone
Softly, children, dry your eyes
Gently, children, be wise
My attends to you as a mother hears all her children's fears
So don't cry, all will wash away when we pray
Soon, soon, soon, soon, soon
So if it's okay, i'll wait with you while the sun begins to shine
Oh look, your wings are broken
But never a lie was spoken
The murdered thing is love, you see
Drifting on a lake of memory
Now sleep, close your eyes and have no fear
A wide blue sky is very near
Soon, soon, soon, soon, soon
Now sleep, close your eyes and have no fear
A wide blue sky is very near.

-Lisa Gerrard for Dead Can Dance ©2004
What dog breed are you? I'm a Border Collie! Find out at

Hmm. Don't think I like that one.

Monday, December 22


I woke up today
out of a fog.

How long have I been gone?

I don't understand anything anymore.

I wish I was a
better father
a better husband
a better son.

Time skips whole years entirely
I see names and faces
fade away
and come back again,

Now the holidays have
come back again but
I'm tired of running after

The days are all so trying
but my trying days
are done.

Time to go to sleep.


Don't come near me.
hear me anymore

I am the seed of ill content
and the seat

Of too many dis-'eases'
to mention
though I mention one:

A dyskinisic

poke at bears when they are
sleeping, don't

Stare at people
with scorn
when they are weeping.

I'm crying all the time.

In the dark,
my mind talks to me
and it's almost

Always dark now.

Saturday, December 20

The day it rained forever.

River silences.
A tree gathering
a sky of crows.
Drifting buckeyes.
A hunter through 
scrub and rat
bones; pockets of
and pony beers.
River silences.
Coalsmoke and
freezing dogs.
Iron wheels
in mud cracks.
Roadside tomb-
stones behind
a hatching night.
White green skies,
solemn aurorae.
River silences.
Dead stars
changing places.
Staring pumpkins
in open rooms
carried across
the stonelights
of eternity.

I Can See Now.

Ever loved a woman who made you feel tall?
Ever loved a man who made you feel small?

If you were a sailor
I'd raise the anchor
To sail the sea
In search of you and me

And God

Conjures currents to break our fragile boats
And both the innocent and the damned
Are swallowed up in His wake

If you were a huntress
I'd be your bow
For your silver arrows
To seek out His heart

Ever loved a woman who made you feel tall?
Ever loved a man who made you feel small?

Who are you to complain
For lack of understanding?
We are all created equal
In just one thing alone—


In your thoughts that pursue you through your life
They'll take you outwards to the dark edge of time
And there's nothing more dangerous
Than a man with nothing to lose
Nothing to fight for
And nothing to prove.

(Brendan Perry)

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Two modes of thought.

Philosophy typically works using deductive reasoning.
Science typically works using inductive reasoning.
Religion typically doesn't work at all, using any reasoning.

Some definitions...


One makes up one's mind on something, then uses logic and whatever appropriate logical loopholes can be imagined and convincingly argued, to show that this opinion is the way "it really is." In the end charisma and/or intimidation often come into play.


Same as deduction, except one additionally gathers facts that support one's hunch, ignores those that don't, then arranges and presents the "good" facts so as to make it seem that Nature herself agrees on the point. This is more convincing than deduction, so science generally beats philosophy the way paper somehow beats rock.

I Am A: Lawful Good Human Monk/Ranger (3rd/2nd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength 12

Dexterity 19

Constitution 14

Intelligence 21

Wisdom 16

Charisma 18

Lawful Good A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment because it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.

Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Primary Class:
Monks are versatile warriors skilled at fighting without weapons or armor. Good-aligned monks serve as protectors of the people, while evil monks make ideal spies and assassins. Though they don't cast spells, monks channel a subtle energy, called ki. This energy allows them to perform amazing feats, such as healing themselves, catching arrows in flight, and dodging blows with lightning speed. Their mundane and ki-based abilities grow with experience, granting them more power over themselves and their environment. Monks suffer unique penalties to their abilities if they wear armor, as doing so violates their rigid oath. A monk wearing armor loses their Wisdom and level based armor class bonuses, their movement speed, and their additional unarmed attacks per round.

Secondary Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?

Friday, December 19

Boy who came in from the cold
Wet and shivering steps into
The warm, swaddling waters
And there's a light in his eyes
For that first moment when he feels
Relief flood into his body and mind
Is what holds every fiber of interest
Soon after, he is gently unaware
Neither joyous nor scared
Too comfortable, too blind

They who are in danger must survive
And shifting between states
Feeling the whole world change around you
Is what it feels like to be alive
We always want something more
But we sink into blissful death
Complete relaxation of the senses
And distortion in the passing of time
Endless monotony, soothing suburbanality
Banal philandering of the essence we hide.

I live in the now. From moment to moment there I am. Or I live in a time that will never happen, a phastasmic world my irrascible dreaming creates. Completely impractical, both ways, both states. The recent past fades quickly, though I remember well the iconic, long-static past. The future that is likely to actually occur never occurs to me, and I am forever caught unanticipating, looking foolish. Foolishly rushing to keep up with demands put upon me which I don't enjoy.

I am still just a little boy living an adventure tale. All the interesting moments happen right now or in some never-to-be, imagined now. Either way I seem never interested in an actual past or future. If the real now is exciting or soothing, I experience it. If it becomes scary or painful, I shift away — run — transform it into the nicer world within my mind. But it's still 'now' in that world.

And along I drift, creating a timeline of a life that is both true and untrue, yet always unique and my own. I live like we all do - alone.

Thursday, December 18

(found art and manipulation)

Tuesday, December 16


light bringer,
sees the true darkness

can never be penetrated.

here i am denouncing God the idea
without any better idea.

we are all so much just lost children
who have given over to crying in disillusionment

or simply trying to forget.

here i am espousing a philosophy rejecting any mystery
and then I cry inside, because there is no mystery

it's the old loved and lost predicament.

do I want the elation and the terror, the full spectrum of possibility
or do I want this gray and polite mediocrity
to say yep! thanks, i'm quite okay
to drift across the same flat line each day,

and what does it mean to be Alive and Conscious anyway?

and what is Time?

i'm still wrestling with that child inside of me who wants
to live every moment as if it were his last, and just not ask

and yet, now knowing, i am terrified to act. is it really up to me
to spend this time as only i can decide, to call, to bet all i have

to risk the chance of another Fall?

i beg thee all,
don't put any faith in me, please i beg, please. please,

i am unfree.

Friday, December 12

The quiz is coming.

I've had some mental problems that have prevented me from doing a proper job. I've got things going on all around me and light just floods from the sky doesn't it? Insects hide from reptiles who hide from mammals who turn on each other.

I'll be traveling across the country in a few days as well but be back a few days later. Relatives are moving this way and that and I'm very happy about it but I have to clean my apartment and it gets dark so early now.

Yet I will get my quiz up just as soon as I can. I hope to get a new person or two to play as well; I'm working on it.

I like vegetables a lot. In fact, some of my best friends are vegetables. Some of them used to know me but most have never known me, but I still love them.

How do you express a love of humanity when you have no religion and don't believe you possess a soul or are going to "go" anywhere when you die?

For me, it's simple. It feels so much more poignant to love something while believing in your heart there is NOTHING - no reward, no pat on the back, no new life, no bonus level, not even memories - than it is to follow a carrot of some sort, any carrot, even if you're the well-meaning person on the corner who hands out those beautiful smiles.

I can't define poignant, but down on the corner, people smile a lot because for them frowns just won't do. Of course I'm very nice every time. I like smiling.

I can smell sharp air and broken grass through the window.

And here entombed in my apartment, I am cold and wear a blank expression and do not walk about in a Santa suit shaking hands or campaigning in the inner cities for change or watch any of the cycles turning. But I have so much love to give.

I have so much love to give, so I give it to the world, and all the people, animals, plants and bacteria and viruses, and the unbelievably minute matter and energy that composes it all, and beyond that, to the Universal. I could never dream to ask anything in return.

Because there's no "Answer," is there?

Not even anyone to reply.

Life is absurd
Look what it's done to me
Born a happy child
Undone in infancy
Life is absurd
Don't tell me otherwise
Fed me with hope,
Raised me on other lies.

The world is unsentimental
So please be gentle
I just want to find a home
Somewhere, some place where
Someone cares.

Life is absurd
Look how the mountains rise
Laugh at our plight
Cutting us down to size
Life is absurd
Just ask the cemeteries
Where men lie in wait
Forever in symmetry.

They will never rise again.

Life is absurd
I've lost my count again
Keep pushing that rock
Then rolling it down again
Life is absurd
My place in this history
Is far from assured
Is it worth the misery?

Life is unfair
But that is the air around me
I just want to find a home
A place I can be alone
And yet together.


Monday, December 8


Hello and thank you for joining me in enjoying this jolly good pub quiz, known in the US as merely a quiz. I have literally written out over 500 questions on yellow legal tablets, so it's been a struggle to narrow this first edition of "The Quiz" down to a mere 25, although I'll occasionally cheat and include a, b, c, and so forth questions under a single number. It should hopefully all make sense though when you venture through it.

The scoring works like this. Submit your answers to me as an email to (for that is my true name, not Metamatician, sadly), and DO NOT post them as a response here; that would be daft as it would give away answers to others.

As I receive your emails, I will grade each answer on a scale of 0 to 4, based on the quality of the answer. "0" means you know less than nothing about the question, and "4" means you've displayed sufficient knowledge that I am confident you truly know the subject. There's no scoring any more than 4 points on a question, so spare me the essays, humor, and blatant sucking-up. Just answer truthfully and efficiently and you'll be fine.

The middling scores (1-3) are awarded at my discretion to those who do have a general idea of the question's subject matter, and get close in their try to answer it. Maybe your dates or names are off, but you do know something about the topic. This is purely arbitrary on my part and is this because I am the lord of all the realms of heaven and hell. And that purgatory place - never could figure that one out.

I will announce the winner as soon as I receive all submissions and have had time to grade them, which I don't anticipate shall take long, since I'm awesome. There may even be 2nd and 3rd place prizes this time around, to keep things interesting and increase the eagerness of contestants who feel they may not have a shot at winning outright. But probably not.

So, enough preliminaries. Onto The Quiz! It will appear in the next post, and please use EMAIL only to submit answers, ask procedural questions, and bribe me with cash. Do not use the comment feature provided by this blogging service unless it's merely to sing my praises in a general way.

Good luck and may the luckiest - er, best - woman or man win!

Sunday, December 7


Catching up with the Sinjin Smythes (St. John - Smiths).

I personally feel, and am backed up by empirical evidence I delibrately fabricated, that the American people and possibly other Anglophone nations in the world do not understand Great Britain and its history and politics adequately.

Leaving aside the fascinating geological, paleontological, and f'n musical legacies of said group of islands, I now present, as I continue to work on my PUB QUIZ, a brief hyperlinked treatise on British history and politics, with an emphasis on recent leadership.

Here, for instance, is Wikipedia's writeup on jolly old Tony Blair:

Here we have a similar treatment of current PM Gordon Brown:

And just to give we ignorant Americans a better understanding of the nonsensical history of British/English political machinations, here are some links which should elucidate anyone who's interested.

Note: Any sarcasm in this post is strictly unintentional, except where it's not. Rest assured I have the same attitude toward my own government and that fully qualifies me to belittle that of others.

There. I've read the entirety of all of these articles myself, believe that if you will, and let no-one label me ignorant, dismissive, or partisan on the issue of our "mother country" henceforth.

Enjoy the education, even you Brits who dunno your own history properly ya tossers!

Friday, December 5

Hey, it's malfucntioning! It's giving that old geezer a whole extra year!

Wednesday, December 3

Ok, so here's the deal on the quiz...

There will be 25 questions on random topics.

The topics will hopefully be equally challenging for young and old, women and men, black and white, gay and straight. But not for gay American Indians!

This will be "Quiz #1" and depending on how it does, there may be more in the future.

Prize will be a funny picture or something else. That's still uncertain.

Each answer you give will be awarded between 0 and 4 points, for an overall total of 0-100 points. Therefore it's best to guess or give a partial or general answer even if you don't know the exact answer, because you may get partial credit. Also, it gives me some leeway to reward better answers than other when both are technically correct.

That being said, I don't want to receive any 1,000-word essays on kitchen appliances or dinosaur turds. You can't get more than 4 points no matter what!!

Unless you mail me money.

Sound good? I'll try to have the quiz up TOMORROW now (yes, a day late - that's a day early for me!) because I have lots to do today. Cheers!

Tuesday, December 2

Pub quiz anyone?

I've got loads of questions written out: easy, medium, and "challenging."

Would you like the questions to be grouped by category, randomly mixed, stick to a single theme (with changing themes in the future), or what?

And how many questions do you want? 10? 25? 50? 100? A billion?

I'll take care of the scoring details and make sure they're fair.

What should the prize be? A gibbon? Something else?

Weigh in with any opinions quickly, because the machinery behind the curtain is beginning to rumble and sputter to life...

Monday, December 1

In Power We Entrust The Love Advocated.

Sail on silver wings
Through this storm, what fortune love may bring
Back to my arms again;
The love of a former golden age.

I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take.
For now that wheels are turning,
I find my faith deserting me.

This night is filled with the cries of
Dispossesed children in search of Paradise.
A sign of unresolve that,
Envisioned, drives the pinwheel on and on.

I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take.
When memory bears witness to
The innocence consumed in a dying rage.

The way lies through our love;
There can be no other means to the end,
Or keys to my heart
You will never find.

You'll never find.

(lyrics ©1979 by Brendan Perry)

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