The genie out of the bottle

Depression clouds my past
In the midst of a happy moment
I am haunted by memories
Keenly aware of the specter hanging over me
These are not just words
I fear it with every fiber of my body

Paralyzed by chemicals
Wired to a black machine
That took my identity itself away
Replaced me with someone else
Who goes on laughing and playing
On guilty borrowed time

The genie has escaped its bottle
The things I held in for so long
Have exploded, done their damage, and subsided
And nothing much feels real anymore
I can't ever go back to the way things were
Just stumble on, pushed... gasping...