Just saw Charlotte's Web, and I think I must've bawled through about half the movie. I knew going in this might happen, since I bawled through almost the entire book when I was little. These stories always get to me - selfless sacrifice, not for renown or glory, for maybe such deeds will never even become known, but simply because it is the right thing to do, to help someone out and in the process ignore your own self-concern.

We have such few examples of truly selfless people in this world that when I hear of their deeds, I get choked up. I would like to do good to the end of my days. Real good, not to be noticed or thanked for it, not so I can feel like I'm a good person in some sort of therapeutic cleansing. Not in a way which would benefit me at all. Just do good and help people the best I can, anonymously if it works out that way. I want to be a humble, pleasant person for the rest of my life.

I haven't always been humble, but I want to be now. I've been pleasant to most people, and some damaging people in the world have worked their way in close to me and abused my vulnerabilities. But I want to remain pleasant and not give into the evil cynicism that infects so many. The "real world" or "the streets" or "the game." I come down with dreadful bouts of accepting yet despising seeing the world on this level, but always at some point find a way back to being loving, taking nothing for granted, being humble. At these moments, I feel like a kid. The world seems to offer endless wonder rather than endless fear.

I want to stay by this warm fire of childlike wonderment, and if I have to read children's books and watch children's movies to remind me from time to time what true virtue is, then I will do so. The cynical, materialistic, cannibalistic values of mainstream society are not for me. Thank you, Charlotte, for your kindness and your sacrifice. You are a model for us all. Good night and peace be with everyone.