Saturday, October 1

A hypothetical personal ad in a nonexistent paper

I'm a very strange person. I'm not evil; I don't even have enough sense of self, or of reality, to put together sequences of actions that you could call good or evil. My mind is very childlike, my coordination is poor, and my memory has more holes than inverse swiss cheese. I'm just warning you, because I consider myself to be very friendly, but scatterbrained; intelligent in a very narrow, probing and philosophical sense, but extremely naïve when it comes to basic survival skills and socialization. My attention wanders. I have broad directions that define my life, but where a given fascination will lead me is anybody's guess. I am emotionally damaged and unpredictable. I'm not a violent person, but I really don't know who I am or what I'll think, say, or do next. I'm very unstable. I just want to warn anyone who thinks they know me that they are operating under an assumption, not a true understanding of what is real. I myself don't know what will happen from one moment to the next. How can anyone else possibly claim to do so?

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