Raining inside

It's hard not to get sad. It's hard not to collapse under the weight of a million feelings. I feel so much. Every moment is pregnant with nostalgia, loss. Why is it the past haunts us the way it does? I can hardly bear to listen to an old song anymore. I can hardly watch an old movie. Everything I touch reminds me of a time that is gone, and I want to bury my head in my hands and cry, and I want it to stop. It's hard not to feel everything. I take my pills and follow sound advice and occupy my mind with the torrent of now, and it is all I can do to carry on. I'm afraid that if I ever stop I will drown in the sorrow of my memories.