Self-reflexive part 1

self-reflexive
tripped up in anagrams
with iron fists and wirecutters
seeming to pass through my bowels
and lost long forgotten blonde
hello smiles at my door
really a chance to disassemble
ask for no more forgiveness
leave the light and dissect fear to
see what normal bones and organs
that charlatan is made of

because I'm still alive
we walked the mean streets in glowing rags
but safety was only in our heads
like stuffed trashcans played dead
and gave in to the great sky
surgically butterflied
embalmed with ideas and then
spiked our pleasure thinking the first truth
was within our grasp, shattered crucially
took the first taste and lost the moment
travelled backwards in time

so I'm lost in the here and now
face down in friendship
there will be no one to rescue me
when I wake up from reality trembling
just take a blue-green sip of this
tea dear, it'll dull your mentality
let you slip and slide into
that little comfortable place called crazy
just one more bite of this carrot, oops,
guess you missed it, wait,
there it is again.