I have lost faith in psychiatry. My wife has been telling me for years. I think she may sense instinctively the truth to be truth, but she never produced evidence that was convincing. Pharmaceutical companies are so convincing. They have lovely brochures, and their doctors - your doctors - talk a sermon. So tempting to believe!

But look at the facts they have to publish, in smallest typeface, marginalized by proclamations that make these freaks who failed to find salvation in their drug at best an unreliable voice. Here we see mixed with the usual bloating, gastrointestinal distress, and headaches true anomalies. Tardive Diskenisia, a Parkinsons-like condition that is permanent, even if the drug is discontinued. Changes in personality unattributable to other causes. Mania, depression, aggression, suicide. Paranoia, chest pains, renal or liver failure resulting in death, dementia.

It turns out newer drugs like Effexor (effective!) are among the least studied, most odious examples of the new breed of pharmacological/psychoactive drugs devised by man or corporation. Volunteers with no previous suicidal impulses have killed themselves inexplicably within a week or two of starting the drug. Some people have had their personalities transformed according to those who know them intimately. Do the research yourself, don't take my word for it.

I am horrified about tackling the world without drugs, but this is because I have been dependent on them for so long. I may be dead by my own hand now without them; alternatively, Imay have learned on my own to conquer my demons and find my way. Trapped in the paradigms of psychiatry, I feel a sense of stasis. A certain protection from the worst things hell has to offer, at the expense of trulybeing alive or doing anything meaningful. They teach us to fear, then sell us a product, like the government.

I am sorry to my friends and family that I have fallen victim to this trap. Millions have and don't even realize it. i will be back with another (hopefully more fact-and-reference laden) exposé of these SSRI/SNRIs in the near future. I don't absolve myself from blame in the harm that has been done, but I know these medicines have not helped in the long run. Again, I am sorry to my family, especially my wife and child, for the effects I allowed these drugs to have on me, regardless of my positive intentions.