Baa Baa

I have been accused of being an Apple apologist, which is patently untrue. I approve of many of their usability decisions, their ethos of quality over quantity, their understated industrial design, and the way they seem to dictate to much of the flock over which hill lies the "next new thing." In other words, I respect them as an idealistic cadre of engineers and designers who have somehow managed to stay relevant in today's cookie-cutter business world.

And yet, I do not turn the other cheek when bad decisions are made. I have no rosy glasses when it comes to brands. If Apple messes up, I call it what it is. They have before, and they will again, and this is to be expected from any company short of the Catholic Church (yes, I am being facetious).

So let me state the obvious: The new iPod Hi-Fi is atrocious. I mean, it's so hideously bad I'm surprised the janitor didn't laugh as they were lugging it down the hall and order the boys back to the drawing room; forget the higher-ups. For all the iPod's slim elegance, this thing is a fat box made of PVC plastic with speakers riddling its front side and molded handles 'gracing' the edges. With no video screen to further the iPod's not-so-secret convergence designs, it's basically just another boom box, and an ugly one at that. What "high-end" kitchens or living rooms, exactly, do they intend to market this to? Wood paneling, soft mood lighting, granite countertops, stainless appliances... and a white plastic cube blasting out Michael Bolton?

I'm no audio engineer, but I know enough to be able to tell from the schematics that this thing is gonna produce awful sound. Folks, there is a reason why people who live and breathe sound purchase component systems where each piece does what it is best at, in a shielded environment, then passes that along to the next specialized component. All-in-one 'home-theater-in-a-box,' and their ilk have never come close to discrete systems in sound fidelity.

Bose is the brand that jumps to mind here. Despite outspending nearly everyone in marketing, their MO is to sell reasonable components (just above garbage, really) at true audiophile prices, relying on their name and their showrooms/salespeople to convince the untrained ear that THIS is what high-end is all about. But look at their specs. They are a low-mid outfit who skimp on everything under the hood. Listen to a Bose Acoustimass or a Tri-Port headphone against real hi-end equipment from Marantz, Denon, Grado, Sennheiser. It's not even worth talking about.

Not to mention, because power supply bricks and, to a lesser degree, higher-voltage electronic components generate unacceptable EMF/EMI frequencies, these are nearly always removed from the main units (creating the 'wall wart' as it has become known) or at least heavily shielded from the more-delicate sound-making parts. I see no evidence of this with Hi-Fi. It appears to follow the Accoustimass ethic of beauty-over-function, and it doesn't even get the beauty part right. There appear to be no discrete amp channels, no isolated power caps, very little external crossover control, and no magic genie inside to bestow the iPod's slim elegance upon the unit as a whole.

Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe the Apple sheep will line up by short-busload to snap this thing up. But unless the laws of physics have changed at Steve's behest, and PVC has become the new MDF, I wouldn't bet my ears on it.