The horrors

Well here I go again, sliding into depression. I can tell it's coming on by changes to my sleeping patterns, my interest in daily activities, the way I think about people, whether morning birds are pleasant or annoying, and even the way the world physically looks - soothingly pretty or way too harsh. And from their hiding places all the little and big horrors that were there the whole time emerge; and from my mind all manner of analysis and anxiety and disaffection arises. I'll try to head things off the best I know how by forcing myself to keep riding the exercise bike, by taking showers and eating, by cleaning my place up and staying in touch with people. I don't want to fall into the hole again. That's the worst thing there is.