Dumbledore Points.

Remember how Slytherin got screwed in the first book at the House Cup ceremony, being told they were winning by 160 points or something close to that, only to have Dumbledore basically cheat for the Gryffindor good guys and give Ron 50 points for being good at Wizard Chess, Hermione 50 points for being sassy or something, Harry 60 of course for beating down Quirrel into his separate elements and then scaring the ghost of You-Know-Who out of the building, even though Snape (Slytherin) did nearly ALL the dirty work ahead of time? That made the two houses tied. Then Neville got 10 points for trying to stop his friends from breaking the rules and holier-than-thou Gryffindor carried off the cup by the slimmest of margins, in the most devious way possible, and humiliatingly in front of a color-changing banner right in front of Slytherin house and the rest of Hogwarts? Ok, so Malfoy's a jerk, we get it, but what about other kids that got sorted into Slytherin that had nothing to do with the main plot but got royally hosed at the end by the hero kid with the scar and his Christianlike posse? That wasn't a very noble thing for DD or JKR to have done now, was it?

In honor of that moment and others like it throughout the books, I'm introducing the concept of "Dumbledore Points" to my quizzes. This means as ultimate arbiter of truth, justice, and the American way, I am able to reward or take away special points to anyone I choose at any time just for making a great try on a plausible-but-wrong answer, or conversely snatching points away for not answering questions at all or mocking them deliberately, or even for being right but insulting me in some way in the process, like adding little quips such as "everyone knows that." On the whole I still try to be extremely fair, but I'm only human and thus susceptible to the polished apple on the teacher's desk trick: If you complain, don't even make a try, or have some genetic illness beyond your control like actual retardation I will probably dock you a few points or maybe even a lot. On the other hand, if you make a really cogent but wrong argument, answer the question halfway correctly with enthusiasm and humility, offer me money, or literally leave a polished Fuji on my computer desk, Dumbledore Points will rain on you like mana from heaven.

Simple things like actually following the rules (sending your answers to my email), reading the questions BEFORE answering what you assume I'm asking, having some humor or wit, or at least submitting an intelligible, organized-looking form will get you DP's or at least not cost you any. Extremely late entries, questioning me in any way, arguing about the right answer if it turns out you're wrong and don't actually have a good point, or just being sloppy and careless in general will find you slobbering and muttering 1st-year curses like so many Crabbes and Goyles, as you see your narrow lead in points slip away completely unfairly and that kid with the scar staring at you smugly for the umpteenth year in a row. Got it?

Just a warning. This is, after all, real life, and even though it's all in good fun, I want to be horribly mean and unfair about the whole process for some reason. Thus, Dumbledore Points.