the irresistable force against a merely stubborn object
naked as i was born,
unadorned
pierced through by shafts of light
it's called grieving
i appear before you now
to receieve
and fake is one thing i'll never be
you know me by now
by the time my words make sense
i'll be lying on my teeth
pierced through by blades of grass
somewhere happy
unseen, undreaming.
2 comments:
I've been trying to comment on this, but I can't seem to find the right way. I think it's beautiful in a sad way and obviously very deeply felt. I hope you can be happy in this lifetime, not waiting.
I feel what you feel about it. It's like a resignation that one day I'll be happy or content or just no more, free from UNhappiness, but that is kind of sad. I want life to be more than that. I'm trying to make it more than that.
I'm also just totally coming clean (implcitly, not in any detail) before God and the world and the universe and saying, 'look, here I am, what is the explanation?' I don't ask for anything. I just don't want to suffer.
I'm pretty sure not-suffering is something you have to become active to do; you can't run from demons and call it some peverse form of happiness because they don't catch you (because of your meds of whatever). There must be something more. I have to believe there is.
But I wrote exactly what I felt which at the time was a bit wistful and melancholy about ever finding something better. Like the poem says, I will never be fake, even if it's a bummer sometimes and it would be nice to put on a party suit and mask and go to the ball.
Thank you for taking an ever-increasing interest in my poems (as you understand or connect with them more, maybe?) and actually leaving comments. It does make me feel genuinely good when someone comments on poems more than on any other type of writing I do. Especially if it's insightful and not silly, but I'll take what I can get.
I think you've begun to understand me a lot more in the last year than you ever had before. Hence the 83% on the quiz, haha. Where before you might show concern at a sad poem or really encourage my positive ones, now you think about it in the context of your own life, look at the aesthetics of it as well as the words, and usually have something to say that isn't trite.
You've grown a lot as a poem reader as well!
Love you.
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