John Dee.

I want to pass out
Pass out and expire
Never wake up to this painful place
Never open my eyes to its disgrace
I try
To do the best that I can
I am kind and courteous
The best kind of man
That I have learned to be
But there are seeds inside me
That won't let the minds
Of my kind rest easy
We who see too much
And are so afraid
We stretch out and wait
You who have it made, and don't comprehend
Begin annoyed and it turns to hate
Just do it, you say
But cannot say aloud
You want people like me gone
You want life to go on
With me out of the way
My mother thinks I'm rude and shameful
My stepdad think I'm disrespectful
My brother doesn't reach me much at all
My father thinks I live on Mars
My sister has had about enough with my scars
My ex-wife thinks I'm a monster
My ex-girlfriend probably thinks I'm a stalker
My best friend turned his back on me in a second
My neighbor begs of me not to let her be evicted
My cat uses me as a source of food
My daughter sends me emails that are sweet
Once in awhile, and I cling to them
Miss her so much, my tears pour
Down the white buttons of my shirt
And I hurt from head to toe
Those who would condemn me
And send me off to some institution
Do not care or don't know
What I've been through
The row I've had to hoe
The tiptoeing I've done
To keep everyone happy
Nobody knows the truth
Everyone speculates
When people ask me questions I answer them honestly
If it's not what they want to hear
They lay into me
But most people are fake no matter where you go
It makes me want to throw up
I have no friends and no family
I want to get away
I want to take another deep breath
No more for heaven's sake
I care deep inside more than anyone I know
But I am not shameless
I don't let other people die
On the vine of my pangs
If they ask me I will help them
Till the blood is gone from my veins
But the dignity and maturity
Of some people is stuck in their past
Frozen in time, and all they think of is a world
Where everyone moves just when they say
And this idea of empowerment
Devours their soul, it has made people selfish
In the present, grey day.

Which is a twisted game I will not play.