Jabbing at a wound.

crying,

crying every day

denying

there is a way

how could there ever be a way?

i can't see it

in my head

i don't believe it

in my heart

how could this thing ever be?

so i'm scratching my skin

jabbing at old wounds

with a bony finger

and i'm calloused

and the feelings

linger

crying,

with every song i hear

lying

on my bed, dear

and i'm pulling out my hair

jabbing at a wound

lost and spinning inside

my own sickening cocoon

blubbering tears

not hearing anymore.

taken too soon.

Jesus.

New Christians

so eager

so full of relief

so happy believing

what I cannot believe

so willing to change

all that which

has been written

in all the centuries

before

so quick to get

down on the floor

and kneel,

to feel that friendship

with Jesus

(it's not even

God anymore, He's

an embarrassment of

all that was old)

erupting from the fold,

new Christians

free from harassment

if we just don't ask

they seem so happy

so happy

with everything

decided for them

they jump joyously

and boisterous

out of the closest

out of the cloister

out of the pain

that made them

say His name

one night in the dark

when they were unsure

when they knew

it could never be for them

to sling that weight
over lonely shoulders

and start up the path

that leads

up the mountain

they put their heads

into that fountain

and proclaimed salvation

without even knowing

from what on earth

or beyond it it was

that they were trying to be saved.

Riven.

Standing in place

For there is nowhere else I would want to

Or could possibly go

Out in space

I could float bloated and no one

Would possibly know

For a few days

Driven

I used to feel it in my bones like sorrow

I'll be back and better tomorrow

You see, life tells us little lies

To make us stick around

Keep us safe and sound,

From the hole that rapes the ground.