Nobody feels my pain.

No one feels what I really go through in a day
I can put on a smile and act like it's not a big deal
when I'm wanting to scream and cry on the inside
I've lived with pain, psychic and physical, for months
and for years, and for a whole lifetime it seems
I'm calloused over, and my feelings are dulled
because my body is like a clenched fist which protects
against any intrusion from the outside, or releasing
my true feeling from the inside out into the big world
and my mind is blown wide half the time but I don't curl
into a ball these days and simply tuck myself away into
a hopeless and projected doom and a never-ending future
rather I think about ways to get up and kick ass again
or to end the entire struggle and let that damn rock
roll back down the hill where Aristotle would want it.

j.sias