hiding
People who want to grow need to get out of their hidey-holes and face it all. Adopt that hippy mind you once had, open your heart to new things, forget being afraid. What is the worst that can happen - death? Is that so bad? You've thought long and hard about it anyway. Take a chance, get out and move, don't restrict yourself from certain genres of movies, books, cuisine, or anything because something makes you feel uncomfortable. Discomfort is where the truth is. You have to keep straddling that edge of vital but blind exploration and warm, virtuous comfort. You can do both. You can gain knowledge from the edge and make it your own, tame it. Flip on the light switch and see that there's no bogeyman. You need to stop being a child and playing at fairy tales. Stand up, project strength and move your life undaunted. There are no directions on how to do this, you just just do it. Listen to new music, travel, read a new kind of book. Study a period of history and become a semi-expert. Master a craft. Get a certificate in diving or something else you never though you'd do. Why not? And why be scared. You're going to die anyways, remember? But maybe in the interim instead of rocking yourself to sleep in a fright in a dollhouse each night, you can actually enjoy exhilarating "now" moments. It's worth a try, isn't it? Could it be worse that it is now?