WHO WON THE US-UK RIVALRY?
Going down the list in the order they were posted...
Monty Python............................................UK 1
Wine............................................US 1
Strawberries............................................UK 2
Ale.....................................................UK 3
Smartfood.......................................US 2
Bangers.................................................UK 4
iPod............................................US 3
Vacuum cleaners.................................US 4
Washers and dryers [OVERRULED](1)...EVEN
Sports cars.............................................UK 5
Railways................................................UK 6
Fluency in English......................................UK 7
Mexican food....................................US 5
Indian food.............................................UK 8
Boston Tea Party................................US 6
Poetry(2)...........................NULLED
Toughest streets................................US 7
Sports(3)...........................EVEN
No useless, fox-hunting monarchy................US 8
Healthcare service..............................US 9
Healthcare coverage.....................................UK 9
Fantasy authors.........................................UK 10
Motorcycles.............................................UK 11
Aviation........................................US 10
No George Bush..........................................UK 12
Landscape...........................EVEN
Surfing.........................................US 11
No great whites(4)......................................UK 13
Documentaries...........................................UK 14
Creative cursing........................................UK 15
Less Bullying...................................US 12
Superheroes and comic books.....................US 13
Live theatre............................................UK 16
Movies..............................EVEN
"Actor's" actors........................................UK 17
NASA............................................US 14
Universities........................EVEN
Reality TV..........................EVEN
Auto racing.............................................UK 18
Bakeries................................................UK 19
Courage/goodwill of ord. people.....EVEN
Chippies and Kebabs.....................................UK 20
Skiing and snowboarding.........................US 15
Rock & Roll.............................................UK 21
Standup comedians...............................US 16
Comedy sketch shows(5)..............NULLED
Sitcoms.........................................US 17
Reggae..................................................UK 22
Blues, Soul, R&B................................US 18
Rap.............................................US 19
Techno, house, rave, anyth. w/lights and "E"............UK 23
Jazz............................................US 20
Alternative (goth, indie, whatever).....................UK 24
Shops stay open late............................US 21
Walmart vs Tesco's......................................UK 25
Outdoor recreation..............................US 22
Regional accents (subjective I know)....................UK 26
Olympic medals, athletics in general............US 23
Ease of upward mobility.........................US 24
Hub of world finance............................US 25
Charles Babbage (genius)................................UK 27
John von Neumann (genius)(6)....................US 26
Brits' debt to US since WW2(7)......NULLED
Political Parties [OVERRULED](8)....EVEN
UFO/Paranormal gullibility(9).......EVEN
Lots of big animals (as a good thing)...........US 27
Lack of dangerous animals (like biting insects).........UK 28
Food, quality and variety.......................US 28
Long, interesting history...............................UK 29
Children's stories [OVERRULED](10)..EVEN
Best City(ies)(11)..............................US 29
Avocados, blueberries, wild salmon..............US 30
Large animals(12)...................NULLED
Natural resources...............................US 31
Quaintness(13)..................................UK 30
Var. of habitats, spaciousness, Natl Parks(14)..US 32
Tea with milk, everyone forgot this.....................UK 31
Closer to France, Spain for holidays....................UK 32
Weather, everyone forgot this one too...........US 33
Manners.................................................UK 33
(Meta almost loses the plot completely with long, bizarre, latter-day Philip K Dick-like post...goes from cockney attempt to swords to string theory to Dungeons & Dragons to biotechnology to YouTube to the White House back down to quantum units of space and time and of course ends it all with the Spanish Inquisition and Tom Jones. Let me see what time this was posted... Yep, I was up past my bedtime and the zookeeper wasn't around to keep me from banging on the typewriter... (No point to my ramblings, so no point awarded. Just a hello to Rex I guess.... 8-| Hope he comes back, heh.))
TOTALS
US 33
UK 33
US 33
UK 33
Good Lord, a tie!
I guess both of our countries have a lot of great things going for them. Let's remember that every time we get ready to go a rant about one or the other. I find myself detesting America sometimes, but when I look at it logically, it IS one of the nicer places to live in the world (just stay away from the Fundies in the Bible Belt and the inbred cavemen in the wilds of Virginia and you'll be ok). The UK seems like a great place as well!
The main objective was fun, of course, so thanks again to have everyone who participated. I didn't mean for it to be a tie deliberately, I thought the UK was leading by 1 when I added my last few (3 for UK, 1 for US). I fully expected the Brits to win, but after recounting and seeing I had made and egregious counting error early on with the US side (going from 6 back to 4 again, then 5...oops), I ended up RE-counting the entire thing again twice to make sure I got the right figures. And they both came out the same!
FOOTNOTES
(1) I've done some research and decided that appliances like washing machines are basically equal in both countries. The "good" kind are available at similar prices, so are the bad ones.
(2) I had Plath vs Hughes but of course there are lots of other great poets on both sides. Too hard to choose. And don't come at me with Milton and Shakespeare, I'm talking modern poetry: Dylan Thomas, ee cummings, Betjeman, Frost, Ginsberg, Plath, Sexton, Hughes, EA Robinson, etc.
(3) Protest duly noted and rejected, REX.
(4) Except the ones sunbathing.
(5) UK, but already awarded to Python at top, so no extra point.
(6) Born in Hungary but became US citizen and helped work on the Bomb, early digital computers. The link between Babbage and the computer age proper, along with Alan Turing.
(7) I just saw a show about this too, Britain still paying off a US loan from WW2. I won't award a point for that. It may me business but on the metaplane we condone forgiveness and forgetfulness. What else was I gonna say? Oh well.
(8) I'm neither a Republican nor Democrat and have been to or seen PLENTY of demonstrations/rallies for minority platforms (Green, Libertarian, Communism, Naderism), all without bobbies/truncheons/tear gas having to be deployed. No point to either side, both countries' political systems function equally well or equally badly, however you want to look at it. Churchill: "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others that have been tried."
(9) Oh man, I've watched so many bad documentaries and "exposés" of the nuttiest things on BOTH sides of the atlantic that I can't can't honor either side here a point for good journalism.
(10) Empath wanted to give a point to Snoopy and Mickey mouse over British children's characters. I overrule this one. Snoopy I'll accept. But I think Disney is pernicious and obnoxious and they make crap films these days that don't teach kids anything but to be rude. When Walt was alive and they actually INNOVATED, then of course. But now, no. Pooh, Paddington Bear, Beatrix Potter, Peter Pan... more gentle and literate enrichment for kids' imagination. Disney may rule the world in marketing, that doesn't mean it's quality stuff anymore though. The reason it's a tie and not a UK point is because we can still rent all the old Disney classics and watch them (Fantasia, anyone?).
(11) Empath declared NYC to be superior to London. I'm not so sure of that; it's her opinion of course but I don't know that a majority would agree. Let's look at it this way though: even if you polled a lot of people and found a 50/50 split between the two cities, just use the TWO top cities in each country to determine the tiebreaker. If we take say, NYC and San Francisco against London and Birmingham (you can substitute Leeds, Bristol, Manchester, etc. for the second city), then there's really no question. SF is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and NY is the financial capitol, and culture-wise right there with Paris and London. So I think Empath is right and US get a point. Now if someone would have mentioned "awful cities, the US is full of those, too - LA, Philly, Detroit, Miami... but no one did.
(12) Nulled because we already discussed animals in Rex's post.
(13) We dealt with landscapes but this is a bit different, more the feeling you get (comforting). Point to UK allowed.
(14) Like the above, this is a narrowing down of the "landscape" part and is different enough I'll allow it. The points for landscape/quaintness/variety all even out anyway.
11 comments:
We all live in developed countries, thankfully. Hard to judge except for fun. You did more for scoring than most people would, and I think your explanations were helpful, even though that must have taken you into the wee hours....we all appreciate our own countries but aren't so narrow minded as to not see the advantages of the other. Good post!
Come back???? They call me "The Boomerang"
Boomerang-
1 : (n) a bent or angular throwing club typically flat on one side and rounded on the other so that it soars or curves in flight; especially : one designed to return near the thrower
2 : (v) an act or utterance that backfires on its originator.
3 : (slang) a very scary sugar and egg based dessert often used in the horror/comedy genre of film making.
Am 'constructing' perhaps unnecessarily lengthy reply to all encompassing sci-fi/Cockney blather, the parts of which that were understandable to near normal members of our species were great. Very odd about me inadvertently plagiarising a cupboard monster name. Mags could be right, it may've been erroneous to let our cyberminds collide. Not since Thea and Earth has there been such potential for creative mayhem.
Hope you're enjoying the summer, we haven't had one since April :~{
.-.-.
Rex dear, how restrainedly brief of you!
Well done Meta, that lot took some sifting through didn't it? That was great fun, educational I'm sure for parties on both sides of the pond and I have to say, suspiciously diplomatic in result...
May I suggest you take a well earned nap before unleashing your next beast upon us all? :-)
Fantastic rejoinder! Touche! Or as they say in France, touche! With a sillier accent. I see I may have brushed against a raw nerve with all the aplomb of an Australian cultural attache. Since I had a few hours away from the daily grind of my booming multi-million Euro Astro-Physical Car Wash and Piss Powered Poodle Pamper Parlour (www.starcarpeepoopampar.co.ck), I have decided to topspin a lob in your general direction to see if your smash is up to scratch. I have little doubt we'll be picking the ball out of Row Z quite soon.
I arose, perhaps more orally hirsute thanks either to a higher than expected alcoholic imbibiositiness(?), or a hypothalamectomy(??) I was greeted by the mid-afternoon sunshine as it "poured in like butterscotch and stuck to all my senses." Took me an absolute age to get those stains off the curtains I can tell you, which reminds me I must take my colostomy bag to the launderette. I have to read a little of your episodic history before I go on too much though cos from the first few bits back in '05 it's clear that I may employ flippancy which could be regarded as just plain insensitive.
I say read. I'm actually clinically illiterate, and have to suffer daily several tedious hours of Brazilian mouth-to-toe remedial massage administered by retired Okapi trainers before the postman arrives. Now I know what you must be thinking. Wrong rainforest! That's part of the reason it's so rare. Africa to South America. Very tough commute. Lemme tell you though, them gals can tongue toes like it's going out of fashion, and at only £25/second(that's $6.2 million or 18.5 used car tyres. Hmm, do I need a new calculator?) it's a sodding bargain the salesman and I.M.F. still assures me I can't refuse. Still it beats hands down the old medication for such conditions used in the past. Leeches. Horrible! Unless of course marinaded in one of Slater's own ready made Cook'N'Vom Sucker-Sludges. An absolute life-saver about the kitchen, the employment of which effectively guarantees avoiding any number of hirudinous dinner party faux pas.
Unfortunately, in the early pre-diagnosis years of my affliction, desperation drove me to all manner of panic measures. I tried Chinese medicine. However, due either to my somewhat rudimentary command of Cantonese, a typo or an overworked and quite bizarre Oriental sense of the ridiculous, I was charged 500 smackeroos to have lychees placed on my energy points. It may just have worked if I'd kept them on for the full 28 days, but I'll never know now because I was unfortunate enough to leave the practice at the precise moment that the 'Eat the First Far Eastern Fruit You See' support group left the 'Malcolm X' centre on the opposite side of the alley. Some days despite ones utmost efforts, it seems one is the statue and not the pigeon, n'est ce pas?
"3 o'clock in the morning, and it looks as though it's gonna be another sleepless night"
"So on the button" Sleep, it's like an untimely punctuation for the would-be restless. Some say it has its uses but I've yet to see the full evidence. Most folk find sleep a normal everynight occurrence, apart from fighter/bomber pilots, whose targeting indiscretions as a result are either notorious or still an undisclosed secret. It's a surprise Los Angeles is still standing.
I was reading the other day that the 'City of Angels' is actually a unfortunate mistranslation. Seems somebody's handwriting left a little to be desired and it is actually the city on jellies, which makes so much sense of all those nasty old earthquakes. Put one simple letter down wrong and W.W.IV would break out. That's if any of us survive W.W.III currently being waged. Of course, it's easy to identify who may survive W.W.III because they started it in the first place. Well it must have been sooo dull in the White House after Bill and Hil checked out, and what with the Cold War ending without a bang in such a disappointing way, the women out shopping, what better way to attempt to reduce the unemployment queues than by gathering all the disinterested, potentially disenfranchised layabouts and freeloaders, flying them halfway around the world and giving them new trousers into which they can shit themselves for a variety of reasons they would never have thought possible back home.
SPARRAZ! DO BE BRIEF GUV, LEEV IT AHT!!
Sorry that's just my Cockney Tourettes playing up. My grandad was a real Cockney, born within the sound of Bow bells. Lamentably, there are proportionally less Cocknies per Londoner now due to a few factors.
Firstly London keeps getting bigger both in population and it's acreage, which seems to expand halfway across the country these days. Indeed some of it's postal areas are in fact in Brittany. Secondly, lots of hospitals get closed here and the N.H.S. budget has been cunningly re-deployed on double glazing, so hearing Bow bells is more of a problem, though the government claims this is propaganda put about by the Cockney Proliferation Front(C.P.F.) (See note later) Fourthly, traffic, new airport, and other general noise and air pollution has meant that the sound of Bow bells now only carries a short distance, maybe as little as 48 lunar feet.(6215.2 km, Tut! feckin' calculator again!*?!) This means that in order to be a true Cockney nowadays you'd have to be born halfway up the steeple steps, an unacceptable situation even for the aforementioned Draconian N.H.S. cuts. One or two acrophobic midwives also raised quite unprecedented objections. This lead to the audacious attempt by the C.P.F., in a rare collaboration with the Fahckin' Real Front for the Proliferation of Cocknies F.R.F.P.C. ( see even later note) borrowing Batman garb from the recently disbanded Fathers for Justice campaign, to scale St. Mary le Bow church steeple and install a kick ass sound system hired from the Brixton Ganga Crew for the Promotion of Deafness Posse.(righteous yoot an' yoot, I most catagorically assure you.Due to mind opening substances and general demeaner, see downright tardy note) Part of the deal was that Mad Professor could do a live mix of the peal, which made for an interesting bootleg C.D. (Bing bong bing bong-ong-ong-ong chanka boomph tich wobba-wobba, gungbin pissshhh. Rise up Lieeeaaaan-aaan-aaan!!) Thirdly, there is no thirdly because down there within the stench exuding melting pot that is the East End, thaat number is considered bad fortune. "Free? Nah meeyol' china, das unlukkee, naa'a'meen?"
The C.P.F. was founded in 1964 after the increasingly famous Michael Caine had been cast as a toff in "Zulu". Outraged by this apparent turncoat, they plotted a "bommin' campaign" which meant they would invade "swimmin' barvz" en masse and terrify "li'aw saucepanz" wiv, sorry, with hideous close quarters diving and big splashes. Local papers such as "The Cheeky Sparra" screamed the headlines. "C.P.F. Aahtovvawda 'n' Wellaahta Depf, Awri' Darlin' Oy Oy" The initial terror caused was not insignificant, as lidos all over "the smoke" began loosing custom, causing unemployment queues to lengthen by several inches. When Caine's next blockbuster "Alfie" was released in 1965, many toned the movement down to become less radical, with lame media driven P.R. stunts such as "bargin'" into ice lolly queues or "shakin'" the hands of Pearly Kings and Queens in Trafalgar Square for the cameras.
Those who had left the movement went "unddagrahn'" to form the radical F.R.F.P.C. After a vicious few months of hell in the backstreets, locals became " Right ol' Logie Baird" of "Da Frun'" after repeated incidences of "pissin' in yer chips, ya twa'" and the excruciating "Neeka'in'" involving several of the nobbliest knees in Shoreditch being cruelly exposed to unsuspecting innocents down at the old rubbadub. The movement almost folded in 1966 when it was discovered that dangerous hitman and kerbside yodeller, Barry 'doous a fayva' Dobbins was actually Christened at Winchester Cathedral as Barton Hesketh Inbred Doris Bashstreet Charwoman-Duffer III, 17TH Earl of Qua-QuaWestchestynecester (pronounced Quenya ;-). Street kudos slumped to an astounding all time low until the St. Mary le Bow Steeple climb/mashup ting.
The B.G.C.P.D.P. were formed at a party in Coldharbour Lane and disbanded 55 minutes later by the Metropolitan Police because there was, as Chief Commissioner Gobsmack put it, "no BASTARD way we're gonna let a bunch of f?++*£g n*^^%.@ organise a party without OUR say so on OUR manor, savvy?" A spokesman for the Crew stated "Dem 'erb was take, yoot an yoot downtrodden, but day come and dem rise up again and mashup de police!" The people of the capital, as one, were was right behind them. The system was returned along with significantly less 'erb, which meant that dozens of rozzers were seen gorging themselves silly at burger AND doughnut stalls for several weeks.
So endeth the lesson, Meta. Sorry if it's protracted nature is beyond the limit. I've stashed it so if you feel the need to edit or scrap it after a while, please do.
Bye for now, Rex.
magdalene, I do believe your friend is a certified nutter.
A fun blog, good result, on to new things. What... Cows. Holy Cow!
Yes. (Retires exhausted.)
Certifiable not certified. I can outrun anybody who wears a white coat.
Yeah, but an island's only so big after all and you gotta rest some time. I hear there're some lovely caves down Cheddar Gorge in the Mendips...
Rex --> time passes --> "My Precious!"
I believe so, though I prefer to avoid the grannies and schoolkids which inhabit them. There's another Mendip cave set, Wookey Hole. Sounds like the title of a particularly tasteless Star Wars based porno flick.
"Oh Chewy, I was told you had a light sabre, but that looks pretty heavy to me!!"
Pretty sure I've seen that one. Unless you're a "furry," don't bother, it's pretty gross, really dated, the models are atrocious, and besides that, it's not even very good.
For a brief moment (ok, half an hour at MOST) I read your first sentence as though the children were inhabiting the grannies, a situation which, being open minded, I was trying not to dismiss out of hand as a typo and yet also trying as though my life depended on it not to visualize (-ise). Then the true meaning struck me, and left a fair size bruise. But my mind feels much better; for a while there I thought I was dealing with someone strange.
One last thought, you could dig your OWN cave, bugger the whole 'millions of years and slightly acidic water' thing, but you'd probably need to hire a team of dwarves, and they ain't cheap these days. My, er, brother told me that.
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