Child.
I've been so terrorized
From all sides but I'm
Stronger now, stronger now
Stronger now
I will not let people
Destroy me on their own
It takes an army to bring me down
Or a soft whisper from my own mind
Sometimes I dream
But I've been so terrified
From the inside but I'm
Taking a longer view now
It will take an army to bring me down now
Or a single act from a pinpoint attack
I've lived in the hills where no one goes
Been down on all fours as the 'roast'
Taken my punishment with empty eyes
I've been shuttled back and forth
To whitened halls
I've gobbled pills like they were Pez
To erase the memories in my head
Now she comes along with love and dread
I cannot know what to say
Leave me to my inpatient
Leanings, darling if you love me,
Stay
And pray for my healing
I'm too afraid.
I've been so terrorized
From all sides but I'm
Stronger now, stronger now
Stronger now
I will not let people
Destroy me on their own
It takes an army to bring me down
Or a soft whisper from my own mind
Sometimes I dream
But I've been so terrified
From the inside but I'm
Taking a longer view now
It will take an army to bring me down now
Or a single act from a pinpoint attack
I've lived in the hills where no one goes
Been down on all fours as the 'roast'
Taken my punishment with empty eyes
I've been shuttled back and forth
To whitened halls
I've gobbled pills like they were Pez
To erase the memories in my head
Now she comes along with love and dread
I cannot know what to say
Leave me to my inpatient
Leanings, darling if you love me,
Stay
And pray for my healing
I'm too afraid.
11 comments:
oormila, if you're out there, I need you more than ever...
Hey Meta,
That was quite a scorching poem...I can make out from the tone of your work that you are really feeling low. Just remember that it is NEVER so bad that one gives up. Do not ever go off the deep end... I always say that to myself when I feel down- that I am here for a reason and I am certainly capable of bringing happiness and touching people's lives in my own small way...
Cheer up...
You have friends around you, right? People you can call if you are feeling down? I do that when I feel off colour. It always helps...
I discussed your poem In Memorium today with one of my students. We did a literary analysis on it and compared/contrasted it with Sylvia Plath's work.
See, you have such immense talents, such precious gifts... You have to fight!
I am worried about you and my husband is also concerned. He also reads your blog! And of late he also agrees with me that you need a little cheering up...
I am very much around, reading your work, enjoying it and sharing and teaching it to my high school kids who are preparing for the Literary Criticism paper of the I.B that they will be appearing for in March '07...
Thank you, once again. And thank your husband for reading my blog as well. You are two people I'd love to have as neighbors!
BTW Sylvia Plath is my favorite poet. I suppose it's obvious. I also adore emily Bronte and a few others.
Tragics romantics, all, but with... something disturbing. A core of realism that cannot be faked by one who has not felt it.
Also...when you said, 'don't go off the deep end' ... I often think of a Dido song "Don't slide..." It has the same kind of message. I try to find one thing firm to hold onto; some root or rock that will support my weight.
Then the long toil back up the hill to the point you were at when the slide started. Self as Sisyphus.
You want to have us as neighbours? Ha! Ha! Ha! With all the din and racket we make playing bass and piano, you will probably call the cops! Anyway, looks like we are going to be neighbours in a slightly broad geographical sense. Vivek and I have plans to move to Vancouver next year, August. So, in all probabilty, you will hear us thrashing music all the way in California...
Yes, or in Canada somewhere. My "friend" lives there.
I will join in on guitar, no worries.
*picks up guitar and starts to reacquaint himself frantically*
Thanks for dropping by again =)
Meta, are you Justin Sias of Elevado?
No, but funny you mention that because I just "met" him like a year ago through an exhange of emails. I didn't think there would be another of these 300 million with my name, but he has it. Very nice guy, too. Chatted a couple times, nothing too big except to apologize for getting the obvious gmail name before he did :)
Do you know him?
Nope, don't know him. A friend based in Atlanta was talking of a band called Elevado and some album they released called Dedicated to the memory or something. Said it was really good...
So, did a google search and I thought the search turned up YOU! :-D I thought it was uncanny and thought I would ask...
Lol, the world really is becoming a village. I'd exchange a bit of my writing ability (does elevado need lyrics?) for some guitar lessons.
Two Justin Sias's. What a world.
By the way, where do you live again? Bangalore? That's quite a large city isn't it?
Yes,I live in Bangalore. They like to call it the IT capital of India. Yeah, my @#$%^&&!!! It is the worst city in the world. Actually, you can't call it a city. It is one glorified village. Maybe I should bitch about Bangalore on my blog. Yup, I think I shall do that.
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