Companionship.

I want to be amongst friends, people who will listen when I talk and not just wait for their turn to say something unrelated. I want to listen when they speak and offer insighftul responses. Mostly I want to be in the presence of people who are kind, who truly in their hearts care.

I don't want to be alone any more. I value alone time, but from the context of a supportive group of people who care about me and check in on me when I've been gone too long. Walden Pond is not for me. I think I am dying of loneliness.

I've tried so hard in my life to be honest and gentle, caring, passionate, giving. I've never found someone who would give that back to me. I cannot find love. Now I will settle for companionship and hold it to a lesser standard but one which will at least keep me sane. Maybe.