The Amazing "F" Word

FUCK is a lot of things. It's extremely cold, hot, humid, dry, tall, short, hard, soft, and other other adjective you can think of. It's amazing one word can simultaneous be all these things. But fuck is a real chameleon. First it's "cold as fuck out here," then when you get inside the dark abandoned mansion.... "daaamn, this place is creepy as fuuuck." You can be scared as fuck, serious as fuck, fast as fuck, slow as fuck, and sexy as fuck (which starts to cast the already stretched and stressed "F" word into multiple layers of meaning). I know the whole George Carlin spiel about "fuck" being the only word in existence that can be any part of speech - noun, verb, adjective, adverb, exclamation, imperative, and so on. But I just wanted to point out it's additional versatility to those lazy enough or harried enough not to think of a more specific and telling way of implying a situation is extreme. For every "this evening is as cold as though all the warmth of light and living things had uprooted from its bitter soil and gone to the other side of the world," you're gonna hear about 1,000 "Jesus, it's cold as fuck tonight." Sorry, sophisticates, that's just the way it is. Good thing we have at least ONE all-purpose word! Although, like a drug, it tempts you to be lazy, take the easy way out, and avail yourself of its survices rather than put the brainpower into coming up with something more creative. Oh well, I still think it's funny when used right. Some things never really get old.